Up and Running

zen runner

2011-11-13T08:07:00.001-08:00

and while running is never effortless i have been revisiting an old copy of chi of running and trying a couple things out. my knee still bothers me and i probably can attribute it to being heavier vs my shoes. meeting up with kate this morning for an easy 3 mile trail run .

Running for Me

2011-09-15T06:41:00.000-07:00

It's been quiet around here for awhile. I had to get a grip and figure out a few things...an ongoing process for sure. the one thing i know is that there is an inner athlete in me but true to form the conventional path is always a rocky one for me. Running for the sake of running hardly seems blogworthy....but i'm figuring out that i don't need to be training for a race or building my mileage or working on my freestyle to feel good about exercising. i tend to be high strung and with a stressful job i need some form of activity to blow off steam...the last few months i've been running just to unwind and it's ok.

2010-09-15T09:33:00.000-07:00

meeting up with Monica this morning for a swim in a new place...Keller beach in Richmond..my leg s are sore in a good way, the knee felt fine during last night's trail run, only the slightest bit of pain after. swimming today will help. Monica did the pac grove sprint on sunday so i'm looking forward to catching up with her today.

M seems to be liking high school and her attitude is back, a good sign that she's not depressed over the boy so much. when it comes to parenting and the big important stuff, i do quite well. but i really fall short with the day to day snarky teenage attitude and i'm NOT feeling so momtastic lately. there's a teeny tiny chance of camping next week...i requested time off and i won't find out about the time off until the last minute....i really need some girlfriend time with no kids!

pain management

2010-09-12T07:45:00.000-07:00

during my run around ceasar chavez park the pain on the lateral aspect of my knee shifted towards the patella. about a 5:10 on the pain scale, noticeable but tolerable. within a mile or so it was more a 3:10 and after the first loop around the park, the pain was barely noticeable and i felt good enough for a second loop before doubling back. i bought new montrails...there so awesome, the trend in running shoes appears to be lighter and for trail shoes these are rugged but not nearly as bulky as my last pair. after the second loop the pain started to ramp up to 6-7. i made myself continue running until i got back on the paved part of the trail and i mostly walked the last mile or so home, i should of taken shorter walk periods because after walking for a while running again was too uncomfortable...weird. . i'm icing, self-massaging with tiger balm and taking ibuprofen.

smarter not harder

2010-09-11T09:02:00.000-07:00

i've been in taper mode for about a month. running here and there. i'm not even going to comment on the lack of swimming or riding. i'm struggling with a couple of bull shit injuries neither of which have been dibiitating just annoying and putting a damper on comfortable movement. i canceled the last swim lesson w/morgan and had her give me a massage instead after i hurt my back. overall, my experience with her coaching was awkward. i think i was in my head too much.

i'm burned out and giving half-assed effort all across the board. i've decided to drop the tri next month and focus on taking better care of my back and get a handle on over-eating and food choices. a family reunion and too many potlucks at work, need i say more?   training for a tri would seem consistent with the aforementioned goals but honestly i don't want to commit to the swimming. i like swimming i just don't like having to work so hard at it. it's just not how i want to spend my time. i like to run after work now, it's a great way to unwind and it's so convenient and i'm just going to admit i need convenience right now.

eat drink and be regular

2010-08-23T05:53:00.000-07:00

i will make time to hydrate today
i will spin and or do yoga today
i will make time to hydrate today
i will include veggies along the way

session #1 with Morgan Filler

2010-08-22T15:36:00.000-07:00

as i sat on the beach waiting for Morgan to arrive i stared out onto the lake watching the mist hover just above. the sun sparkled on the water and the morning was idyllic. despite the serene surroundings i was a bit tense. i was nervous about not being a good enough swimmer to merit coaching. is that not the dumbest thing ever?
she arrived with her surf board...and i made a note to myself to ask her about SUP (stand up paddling) at a later time. today was about the task at hand and was going to require all my concentration. we didn't waste anytime and she led me outside the ropes..that was a first for me. she had me swim a bit first offered feedback and then the lesson began. i mostly worked on catch, pull and rotation.
about halfway through the session i started to get dizzy and nauseous. and
let me emphasize, i'm swimming in frikin lake placid...the only sign of activity are the ripples on the waters surface generated by the ducks on shore and myself. the same thing happened last night during my run, at the time i chalked it up to not enough time between my last meal and the run. it got progressively worse and at one point i had to get back on shore, just as i crawled my way to the trail, to discreetly wretch my guts out... some guy and his dog show up and want to talk. i sort've fumbled through the chit chat, took a few deep breaths and swam back out to Morgan who was sat patiently on her board waiting for me.
we had about five minutes left and i zagged my way back to the beach. she said she'd video tape me on next session....i was taped once before towards the end of training last year and found it to be really helpful but i only got to view it once...she'll email it to me which should prove to even more so. i haven't had alot of experience with 1:1 coaching and what little i have had has been uncomfortable...Morgan said it well " feels weird with the all the focus on you? i agreed.
so it wasn't the best first session (no reflection on Morgan at all) she was very nice and i felt safe with her. as for the nausea and dizziness, i foolishly still tend to under hydrate. such an easy fix but just as easily overlooked. i got quite a few tips despite the gloomy sounding post. one thing i have going for me is i roll really well. i need to glide on my side longer and time the switch better.

It's the Journey

2010-08-19T19:49:00.000-07:00

i haven't done much speed work in the past...certainly not enough to notice a difference in my running. today at the gym i warmed up with a 12 minute mile, stopped to stretch a little then ran 3 miles at a 10:00 minute pace and it felt EASY! maybe there's something to speed work after all. i swam 500 yards right after and while swimming never feels easy i can feel my endurance starting to return.

in the past i've usually followed up whatever pace or distance i've completed ..with the words ''far for me'', or ''fast for me.'' perhaps a 10 minute mile isn't fast by most standards but that 3 of 'em in a row felt easy well that's just fucken awesome in my book.

i felt really good during and after todays workout. for the first time since starting to train this year i've noticed some progress and i'm starting to enjoy the ride.

early bird gets the worm

2010-08-18T09:53:00.000-07:00

i got an extra early start today and swam at King pool this morning. got lucky with great parking and was able to split a lane the whole time which allowed me to go at my own pace and work on a few things without the stress of circle swimming.

i've been resting on mondays and fridays but since i blew off yesterday's run (instead i cooked and we sat down and ate together) i'll be working out 5 days in a row...which should be interesting. i'm half tempted to blow off the Y group's ride/run brick on saturday and do my own thing. most everyone i've met is nice and all i'm just slow and more than a bit self-conscious about it. the main reason i signed up was for the group swim practices...which are humiliating enough.

M took moi out to lunch today. we did some back to school shopping over the weekend and her room is starting to come together. we have orientation next week and then back to school on the 1st.. i've been enjoying our time together a lot but i'm looking forward to the school year starting and her getting a good start on her new routine.

need 4 speed

2010-08-15T09:28:00.000-07:00

so here's my speed work plan for today

easy 1mile jog to the track, stretch when i get there.

1/2 mile x's 5 w 1/4 mile recovery in between ea. 1/2 mile

easy 1 mile jog home

not sure what my pace will be....8:30? (in my dreams)

what really happened

i did the above workout...except i have no data to indicate my speed...apparently i still haven't figured out the garmin settings, i thought i set it up for intervals...but according to it i ran 3:52 at an 11:26 pace.

perceived rate of exertion: like i started out too fast and got progressively slower.

i know i benefited from this workout despite the hard data to tell me exactly how. it was really hard and while i knew i wasn't going all that fast i was pushing myself, i was definitely out of my comfort zone. my thoughts were on the negative side, "your slow, this sucks, just stop, but i kept going.

i think a big part of endurance training is exposing your limits and weaknesses. i wish i could say that my determination improved with every interval but the conversation in my head was all: "i wanna stop, "no, you can't" "why?" because you can't", "i'm not running fast at all, this blows, i wanna stop", "quit bitchin, almost done, walk slower during recovery, but move your ass now!"

i don't think my body got tricked into thinking it could run fast, in fact i'm pretty sure i just irritated it.

my eating and sleeping habits aren't conducive to good workouts. i need to swim 3x's a week not 2 and i need to ride more, but this season i want to kick that 10ks ass!

yesterday's Y-club workout at coyote point was ok. i swam 1/2 a mile in 20 minutes and rode just under 8 miles...again the garmin settings were off. honestly, technology can be more of a distraction than anything else.
morgan emailed me late yesterday and it looks like we're meeting up at lake anza next sunday for our first session together, she also mentioned a group swim she's holding wed pm at berkeley marina ...not sure i'll make that one.

better choice

2010-08-12T18:43:00.000-07:00

instead of going to the solano stroll kick-off party i went swimming after work. T and M are very involved with this every year....me not so much...chit chatting with dozens of people and pigging-out on copious amounts of free food...just wasn't what i wanted or needed to do.

the lanes were packed and it took a bit of lane hopping before i actually got down to the business of swimming. once i settled into a lane i just focused on my breathing and bilateral skills. i have no idea how far i swam but i was in the pool 40 minutes.

i'm all stuffed up now and my hair will takes hours to air dry, blow dry and flat iron....course frizzy hair that i must beat into submission every time i get it wet....another reason to not love swimming.

40/40

2010-08-11T14:43:00.000-07:00

the drab weather wasn't helping my already lazy mood. instead of working out first i got a bunch of errands done and pondered what i was going to do in the way training today. i wasn't in the mood to ride or run long so i opted to ride for 40 and run for 40. a good compromise and probably in the long run a better workout.

yesterday's run didn't happen for a variety of reasons. despite having my running garb to change into after work, i was tired and instead of running from the path right near work i opted to drive to the park shortening the run by 2 miles....instead i was met with a big fat detour (seems like road work is going on everywhere).

i was dressed and decide to run somewhere closer to home instead....my first mistake.
going into the house first was a bad idea. while i've been a very good human mom if you were to ask my "other child", she'd pretty much roll me under the bus and tell you i suck. brandy is my dog, i'm the main caregiver and i've been slacking on her walks, so instead of running i took her for a walk/run. she's not a good running buddy kind of dog...she's super nosey and selectively obedient on or off leash...runs with her typically go something like ..."come onnnnnnnnn, let's goooooooooo. brandy noooo, get back here right now! so given my lack of agenda or motivation i walked her for 10 or so minutes tiring her out a little and then i tried an easy jog which she responded well to.

my upper back is bothering me. my job is quite physical. i'm on my feet 80% of the time. i see upwards of 13 patients a day in 30 minute increments and sometimes good body mechanics is compromised for the sake of productivity. exercise helps for obvious reasons but massage would be really nice too. i blew my budget on private swim lessons this month so i'll have to suck it up a bit longer.

1st Brick in a really long time

2010-08-07T07:36:00.000-07:00

we're meeting up today at Lake Temescal for a ride/run brick. i've been vowing to do more of these this time around but i haven't as of yet. i rested yesterday so hopefully the legs will do their job.

it's another cool gray morning and the ground is wet. the last couple of mornings it's been drizzling during the drive to work then it gets hot and sunny later...i swear mother nature is going through menopause.

the first ride/run brick since last year...oh, this is going to be painful.

what really happened

secondary to drama which is typical of me whenever i'm trying to get out the door in a hurry, sometime between last night and this morning i misplaced my ATM card. rushing around tearing through the house...which in it's current state is A WRECK in part due to the fact that the entire contents of M's room is sitting in the dining room while it gets painted.

with less than twenty minutes to get to the workout i finally gave up looking and flew out the door. i got about a mile or so down the road when i realized i forgot my yellow riding jacket....it was cold, foggy and damp out and visibility was foremost on my mind. not to mention wondering what hell happened to my ATM card.

i turned around went home. the ATM card is due to expire soon anyways and so i went to the bank and dealt with that bullshit drove home and informed my family that i would be doing my own brick.

i rode for 40 minutes and ran for 15. i rode out to the berkeley marina, flat and windy. when i pulled up to my house i used the porch as my transition area and stripped my long riding pants (i had capris underneath) and riding shoes changed into my running shoes quickly...T was off to the side cheering "go baby go" i ran around the neighborhood and i was a little surprised that the transition didn't hurt as bad as i expected. i've been running on tired legs all week so i'm chalking it up to that. the actual stats are on my daily mile widget. including the transition the whole thing took a little over an hour and i'm not ashamed to admit it was probably the right brick for me today...the club workout was no doubt a lot harder.

Doing the best I can

2010-08-05T05:52:00.000-07:00

feeling a little worn out.

M was helpful at the pool yesterday and kept track of laps for me. she's been sticking close to home and at my side whenever i'm not at work or trying to train. she's going to a friends tonight for a sleepover..her first outing since the horrible incident so i'm freed up a little more after work. she's always been a little annoyed at the amount of time i spend "training"...which pales in comparison to real triathletes. a part of her is a little proud of me too. it's weird tension at times. i can't give either 100%

To the douche bag that broke my daughter's heart

2010-08-04T06:47:00.000-07:00

i want to thank you for the tactless way you let my sweet daughter down.
i want thank you for chipping away at her innocence.
i want to thank you for the harsh lesson that all is not as it appears.
i want to thank you for causing self doubt and for the head games.
i want to thank you for opening the door to deeper conversations about love and loss.
i want to thank you for the opportunity to see my child in a new light.
i want to thank you for rejecting her because despite her pain she's learning that she's quite strong.
i want to thank you for the opportunity that has presented itself to reassure and love and guide this amazing girl.

.

Trail Mojo

2010-08-03T19:59:00.000-07:00

the legs are still a bit stiff from sunday's shenanigan's and the weather was warmer than i would've preferred especially since i forgot my hat and shades. my garmin was acting weird and didn't pick up a location until a mile into the run.

today was hot and i felt overheated and irritable. you have some exposed areas and abit of climbing to do before your rewarded with the lush canopy and single track. my mood immediately lifted as the shade started cooling my core down and there i was winding my way through manzanita, oaks and redwoods. i crossed bridges and climbed 60 plus steps. i saw lots of lizards and heard an owl off in the distance.

i didn't have a map but i had an idea of where i was going having talked to a few others who'd run here before. i just sort've followed my instincts. there was plenty of daylight and i could double back if necessary...but my sense of direction on the trail held true and before i knew it i was back on the main trail.

this was a fantastic run. i didn't feel as strong or as comfortable as i would've on fresher legs but i've always preferred trails over roads for running and i think maybe i might be getting my trail mojo back.

Track

2010-08-01T11:11:00.000-07:00

Do gut-wrenching dry heaves count as core strengthening?

OK, I'm exaggerating a bit but I was on the verge of puking a few times. I ended up at the Albany Middle School track this morning. My mission was to sprint the straights and walk the curves 8x's. I haven't figured out how to capture intervals on the Garmin so that's something else to throw on the need to learn pile.

I started out on the BART trail trying to re-set the Garmin, running and stopping and running then stopping again...it occurred to me " hey, this is a little like Fartlek"..such an absurd word, seriously..... I then came upon the track and decided to do the above workout.

I practiced running on the front and mid sole versus the heel and could tell i was moving faster, a couple of time I was paced at 6:30 ...perceived rate of exertion: oh. my. god. I'm gonna hurl. After wards, my legs were toast and I stretched for awhile before leaving. I dragged my sorry ass across the field and the basketball courts and hobbled across the street to start jogging home...a minute into the "run" i knew I'd be walking home. Note to self: drive to the track next time.

Truth be told yesterday's shitty swim was my motivation for track today. As hard as speed work is I have a clear advantage on land. I'd like to work closer with Coach Nancy (she was down a coach yesterday and had to stay on the beach watching us) regarding the swim, she gave me some good tips yesterday and I just need to relax more and not compare myself to others so much.

I heard about an open water swim coach through Forging Ahead. I contacted her yesterday about private lessons and she emailed me today. So stay tuned for a more positive swim posts in the not too too distant future as I figure out our schedule.

Coyote Point

2010-07-31T15:15:00.000-07:00

met up w/the Y Tri Club this morning for a swim...most swam a mile in like 30 mins ...i swam half as far in approximately the same time...but i'm not bitter...just tired.

i brought my bike and explored the SF Bay Trail...very flat and scenic with strong headwinds on the return...i burned crazy calories...according to the Garmin...and my appetite when i got back...glad i packed a big lunch. so it was great day for training...despite my miserable swim...i met some nice people and had a great ride . unfortunately my families return flight today didn't correlate with my training so i'll have to drive back out there in a few hours.

It's a Balancing Act

2010-07-25T10:53:00.000-07:00

Drama camp potlucks, bake sales for Haiti, performances, laundry and packing for an upcoming trip has this mom in full lock down. i wanted to get a some kind ride in yesterday...but i needed to replace that adaptor thingy for the Co2 cartridges and my sun glasses were all scratched. T still had some credit over at Mikes Bikes, so i changed to ride and threw my bike into the back of his truck and after i got my stuff i still wasn't sure where i was going to ride because M needed to be at Bentley by 1pm (it was already noon) and the performance didn't start till 2:30...i just couldn't think straight... it was T that said, "you've 2.5 hrs to get to Lafayette, are up for it?" Duh, i could just ride to the performance and so what if i showed up in bike shorts and smelled bad. i am in training after all, right? T would drop M off and get some errands done in Lafayette before the show...for all my complaining about his lack of planning my man can think on his feet!

Mike's is close to the base of Spruce, a longish gradual climb to Grizzly Peak. from there I entered Tilden past Inspiration Point and then had a BLAST on the fast downhill to Orinda. i practiced not riding my breaks so hard and reacquainted myself with what gear does what...i practiced going into a high gear to go even faster downhill. i stopped for a little frozen yogurt then headed over Santa Rita....i'd forgotten how steep this part was and after the first climb i managed to clip out w/o breaking my neck and hoofed it to the top. the rest was downhill to Bentley. I arrived at 2pm.

M went out with friends later that night and T and i discovered a yummy indian buffet..7.99 per person. the chicken tikka was off the hook, spicey potatoes and bell peppers and naan, deeelish!
the ben and jerry banana split we shared later kinda kick the frozen yogurts ass.

I'm All In

2010-07-24T09:18:00.000-07:00

It's official...i just registered for the Marin County Triathlon 2010.

The Y Tri Club starts next week, our first training will be swimming at Coyote Point. I used to go there with my family as a kid for picnics...that was ages ago...the scent eucalyptus trees permeated the park.

My ankles are a bit stiff but other than that no real complaints. T and M are leaving for NYC on Tuesday so trying to spend quality time with them this weekend will take priority but i have time to run now...

Pushing Myself

2010-07-21T18:38:00.000-07:00

running fast is hard .

a 10k after 25 miles on the bike is harder.

doing hard stuff is good.

that's what i keep telling myself anyway.

3 miles at 10:07 pace....not quite puke worthy but freaking hard nonetheless.

hard to imagine maintaining that pace for 6 miles post swim/ride.

Summer Days

2010-07-18T18:46:00.000-07:00

for the first time ever my family and Monica's family got together at McNears Beach. Monica and I swam , our daughters -who met at the that 5k we 4 did last year and our husbands, both artists talked all things art related.

it was kinda crazy how it all came about... i'll spare you all the texting and what not back and forth over the past 24 hrs....but in our lack of planning a good time was had by all.

McNear's Beach is the swim site for the Marin county tri.....and naturally i wanted to check it out well in advance. the beach was rocky and the water while flat had a pretty good current going and because my swim sucks ass it felt like what i would imagine an endless pool workout would be like...we'd be swimming and then start cracking up because we took forever to nowhere.

the other funny thing was it seemed no matter how far offshore we swam we could touch the squishy mud floor, sink up to our knees and the water was still about chest level. from the shore you could see the drop off point and it was really far off...and since we could swim we just stayed (literally)where we were swimming for about 45 mins. my arms got worked!

after a snack on the beach Monica had to get back home and the family and me headed over to Stinson to sun bathe on a real beach with ocean breezes and tattooed boys who complained loudly at the lack of hot bitches on the beach. T cracked up when i peered over my sunglasses and said "ooh what a catch"

Feels like TRI-SPIRIT

2010-07-17T11:48:00.000-07:00

so it's official as of yesterday i received the email confirming that triclub with the Y is on. Coach Nancy has the teams sight set on the santa cruz tri in mid september....i checked out last years results in my age group and the slowest swimmer was under 40 mins.....compared to my glacial 50:50 swim at pac grove that would definitely have me being trampled by the following age groupers. honestly, i'd being lying if i said i didn't care about being last but swimming isn't my strong suit, i'm good enough to participate and that is good enough. i swim for recovery and cross training not for technical expertise or speed. the swim leg of the race is really a warm-up for the other business of the day.this season i'm focusing on ride/run bricks, my theory is these will make the run fun again not like last years death march!

i have a couple of weeks to decide but i think instead of Santa Cruz i want to do Marin County Tri ...it's more expensive but it's close so i won't have travel and deal with a hotel and it's on HALLOWEEN....how cool is that? i've been slow to warm-up to racing but i'm starting to get the tri-spirit.

Lake Anza

2010-07-11T14:22:00.000-07:00

Monica and I pulled into the Lake Anza parking lot at exactly the same time. we chatted on the beach for as long as it took me to shove myself into my wetsuit. i went in first zig zagging my way to the furthest end . when i left the house earlier it was pretty overcast and windy but by the time i reached the park (which well above sea level) it was all sunny and clear lifting my mood a smidge.

for all my complaining Monica is a good swim partner. she's mellow and doesn't take any of it too seriously which was exactly what i needed today. i swam for maybe 25 minutes. i started to feel guilty for not going longer and for Monica coming from Pinole ( i paid for her swim fee it was the least i could do ) but we'll do it again and the goal was to get past my swim funk which i did. it's really pretty up there and there weren't too many people at noon, though our spot was a bit more crowded when we got back on land then when we entered the water. i had a bit of a headache so i didn't feel guilty for too long about not swimming longer. we had a good visit on the beach before going our separate ways.

workout partner wanted

2010-07-05T10:53:00.000-07:00

my main objective with triathlon has always been to find like minded and ideally like fitness level folks to ride and swim with. i'm NOT big on chatting during a run (mainly because of lack strength and coordination to give either my all simultaneously) not that there's anything wrong with socializing, i just feel for me a workout should be mostly workout with a little socializing thrown in not the other way around.

during TNT training last year i met a woman in my general vicinity location wise. she was a total newbie in every sense of the word and i kinda took her under my wing . sometimes i'd workout a bit earlier on my own to be sure i got whatever my goal was that day and then we'd meet up for whatever we had planned . turns out swimming is our best activity because while we're there for moral support i don't feel like i have to talk or walk or double back as often like i would need to if we ran or rode together.

we haven't seen each other in a few months, but keeping contact via FB. i called her today and just spent several minutes trying to nail her down to a swim. she told me about a beach she wants to check out...i say "cool, let's plan on swimming" to which she replies "i want to just check it out, i don't know how deep it is...blah blah blah" so, since we've had successful swims at Lake Anza, i suggest we meet there instead because while i'm interested in visiting, my time is limited and i'm more interested in working out. it takes us so long to reconcile our schedules and when we finally can hook up i've been annoyed when it turns into more of a get together versus a workout.

after hanging up i feel a bit off about things because i had to push her a bit to commit....something i have to do on a regular basis with the patients i work with. the last thing i need is to feel like a facilitator/cheerleader on my free time. i'm far from hardcore. i'm seriously slow and i've been dropped plenty of times from group rides but i workout and try to be present . walk breaks are fine, but when it turns into a 1/4 mile yack fest it's stops being a workout for me.

i know she's not the right workout partner for me but for now she's all i got. hopefully i'll connect with some folks in triclub at the end of the month. i'm still on the fence about actually racing but i love the cross-training aspects of triathlon and maybe i'll find a kindred sole or two that i wont have to "work" to workout with!

Life is a Beach

2010-07-04T07:05:00.000-07:00

after yesterday mornings craptastic hike...M was just waking when i got home and was less enthusiastic about yoga...me too. the day was so nice it seemed a shame to stay inside so instead we packed a few snacks and the pooch and we headed to Kehoe Beach, a dog friendly beach near Tomales State Park.
M and i have are best bonding time on long drives, she's so funny and growing up so fast.

We parked on the side of the rode and hiked abut a 1/4 mile to the beach. along the way Brandy spotted a snake, which surprisingly spooked the hell out of M....i didn't get a good look at it but it had a cool bright yellow stripe down it's back.

The surf was pretty intense with undertows and SHARKS known to prowl around. it's an on-leash park but we saw allot of dogs off....Brandy however remained on leash because she has selective obedience. plus the fact that she has this thing about attacking the water, crashing waves are especially appealing..she can't swim but she'll bark and bite at the water, which has in the past resulted in other unpleasant behavior i won't go into..but here's a hint, remember that beach scene in "Marley and Me"...yeah, like that. so as we approached the beach i let M set up while Brandy proceeded to drag me down the coastline. the surf was really moving and we both got drenched.

it was a gorgeous day to be on the beach yesterday. the sun around 3pm wasn't too intense and spray of the ocean felt good on our skin.we saw some really cute dogs too. Tip: if your in a funk go to a dog friendly place your mood will soften every time. i meant to take pictures with my phone but forgot it in the car but no matter it wasn't about picture taking but being in the moment with my two favorite girls.

Suck it up Buttercup

2010-07-03T07:56:00.000-07:00

my mind is flip flopping at the moment. catching up on a few blogs, the morning went from wanting to grab the kiddo and the car keys and hightail it to the mountains or maybe the beach...needless to say M was NOT INTERESTED AT ALL....she's all hunkered down under her covers...mommmm go away!

then i considered grabbing the dog and going for a hike at Redwood, or maybe Strawberry....haven't thrown that one out entirely....then i thought about swimming and the lake anza statement i made the other day...i'm hoping a friend will be free to go with me as of yet i haven't heard back...fine by me cause it will allow me to put it off longer...not that i have any trouble doing that anyways...

then i started picking up around the house and T woke up and i complained to him for awhile about woes of being an assistant....oops, i digress....where was i! ah yes swimming, maybe i'd go to the Y instead but M wants to go to Yoga later and do i want to go to the Y twice. M seems to want to go more often and so i've attempted to be more available when she does which means setting my personal agenda/goals aside and supporting her budding interest in working out...that sounded better in my head..now it just looks like another lame excuse, the Y is 2 miles away and parking is FREE!

so back to the hike with the dog....there was a time i OWNED the east bay trails...i was never fast but boy i could go long....right now i'm struggling with the FACT that i'm nowhere close to my previous fitness level...and i've been avoiding the trails because ....i don't even know...it's stupid.

OK, i need to stop belly aching get my ass up and running or hiking or swimming or something.

i ended up taking Brandy to Strawberry.

Brandy is a bit of handful and needs to be on-leash for most of the time. I let her off for while once i tired her out on the big hill that connects the lower and upper sections. she was panting and frothing like crazy but wouldn't drink when i offered. we hiked to the bench that over looks the university and still she wouldn't drink...weird for all the huffing and puffing.

the hike was bittersweet. instead of appreciating the beauty all around all i could think of was how NOT ready i am to run up here. i avoided eye contact with any runner i came upon and i because it was hot and i wasn't running i wore my sandals with vibram soles and ended up with hot spots on both toe-balls.

getting back into the swing of things ain't going to be easy.

definitely worth it but definitely not easy.

well today got all kinds of better

2010-07-02T17:07:00.000-07:00

all week i thought i was working on monday but then i found out at the end of the day that the therapy dept. was light staffed. woohoo! not sure how i misunderstood, when my boss asked if i could take the memorial day holiday i could've sworn it was so i could work the monday after the 4th of July.

after KFOGs Kaboom show the berkeley marina fireworks kinda pales...but yay i get to stay up late for them and there's a good chance alcohol will be involved.

i tried to go for a wee run before picking M up from BART.....i parked nearby the lot and started to run when suddenly i needed to use the bathroom...damn. i hightailed it back to the car , on the way i realized that i haven't walked Brandy in a few days and there's a dog park close to BART, so i wee'd grabbed the leash which instantly got Brandy's attention we got to the park and she chased the ball a few times before we had to go get M....lots of false starts here you notice?

so now were off to the Y as M is wanting to workout there...i'd still rather run outside but at this rate i'm not sure what's going to happen.

so i found a TM near a window so it sort've felt outdoors and covered 3 miles in a little over 31 mins. M and i stretched and i checked in at the front desk and so far 13 people are signed up for triclub that's set to start in a couple of weeks ...2 more needed to close the deal.

That's right, I said it.

2010-07-02T06:14:00.000-07:00

i hate swimming. just like i hate math. i know with persistence both have improved . but i will never be great at either because when i take a close hard look at what it will take i'm less than committed. i'm no stranger to hard work but damn.....at 47 do i really need the aggravation. i've got work for that. it just stresses me out and makes life hard on anyone within a 10 foot radius.

breath

i'm really just annoyed by the recent pool experience....i suck in the water and i just need a lane to myself to work things out without the aggravation of obnoxious swimmers. maybe i'll drag myself to anza this weekend...

Lafayete Resevoir

2010-06-30T10:25:00.000-07:00

M's camp is in Lafayette. After dropping her off i headed over to the reservoir for a run. it has been ages since i ran there ...like pre-Garmin times . i always suspected it was around 3 miles. i was close 2.78 to be exact. for all my complaining about slow running after work my pace wasn't all that much faster at 11:09. now granted this run turned out to be a bit more rolly than i remembered and it was warm and windy. i haven't been doing much in the way of hills yet so it was a perfect run in that respect. i lean towards the cheapo end of things and usually scope out somewhere else to park to avoid an entrance fee. alas there wasn't any convenient free parking so i forked over my last 6 bucks. to tell the truth it was worth it, the park is very clean and there are comfort stations all along the trail. too bad i was only good for one loop.
i walked a little bit after wards and stretched near my car before leaving. i stayed up way too late reading blogs and sorting through old files last night which ironically was both inspiring and tiring. 12:30 am is way too late for me to be up but apparently i've got a thing for running when i'm tired.

Athleta Chi is a new favorite of mine. i decided to go for a swim after reading a couple articles there. given the sunny weather it was no surprise that there were no less than 3 people in all six lanes at one point or another. in the last lane there were 2 folks who were really slow...and wobbling all over the place the second lane had 2 folks, the guy was definitely not slow. i tried to make eye contact with him as i did with the female before entering the lane but he didn't look up...i guess he complained to the life guard because she got my attention and asked that i let all the people know before entering because he didn't want to crash into me. i just smiled and nodded but thought to myself maybe he had some responsibility to be a little more observant of his surroundings instead of never looking up. whatever. i got out after 15 or so minutes and sat on the deck a minute when another man asked me if i was done i said " yes, go for it..but let everyone know before you go in" when he got the guys attention and let him know he wanted to circle swim, the guy rather sarcastically said, "that's what i've been doing!" so much for pool etiquette. i can't stand assholes like him and it seems every pool has one.

On second thought

2010-06-28T20:22:00.000-07:00

I tried a new name for my blog for a little while but i started to miss the old title. guess i'm getting sentimental in my old age....i turned 47 this past sunday.

so the after work running is starting to take hold. i'm getting off the fence, negotiating less and just getting it done. can't say i'm loving it quite yet and an 11:30 pace ain't nothing to write home about but hey i'm out there getting shit done. one slow ass mile at a time.

saturday M agreed to go to yoga with me and despite being a bit bored at times said she'd like to make it a regular thing...go figure.

Here I go again....

2010-06-21T20:11:00.000-07:00

so it appears my tri-days aren't a thing of the past. saturday as i was leaving the gym i noticed another flyer for an olympic distance training group. i messed up my dates and missed the cut-ff by 5 people for the current tri-club . not caring to fundraise again this year i've dodged the frequent emails and requests to mentor with TNT. missing out on tri-club really sucked, in fact every time i went to spin an instructor would start yacking about triclub...giving shout-outs to participants in the class.... it just irked me that i screwed up my dates the way i did.

anyhoo, coach Nancy is leading an olympic distance group starting at the end of July and my name is Numero Uno on the list. buyah!

we spent Father's Day at Stinson Beach...none of us thought to bring a camera! I did however pack a mean picnic basket...yogi would've been proud.

my run after work didn't suck...the Garmin on the other hand flubbed up and failed to sync the right date with the appropriate data....WTF! It's like turning in your homework and not getting it graded.

2010-06-12T10:56:00.000-07:00

Here's a few pictures from last week, more to come.

Staycation

2010-06-03T11:00:00.000-07:00

so i'vebeen off work for close to a week, finaly getting around to a bazillion little projects around the house. i decided to move my sewing studio into the dining room. i wasn't entirely satisfied with the space i'd been
renting, it was never quite big enough and once a project started to grow i'd have to schlep it home anyways. T and a friend helped me move out of the studio on Sunday and between sprucing up the garden i've been busily reorganizing fabric and notions. i took down the bamboo shade on the east side and watched the sunlight fill the formerly dark space. it completely changed the whole look and feel. i've been working on a couple of baby quilts and am itching to start a bigger project now that i have the space.

i'm determined to keep active despite my sedentary hobby. on my 3rd cup of coffee while surfing a quilting website a pop up ad caught my eye...something about keeping active and osteoporosis. just the nudge i needed to get out the door. it was a good 20 minutes before i settled into a rhythm...the hot muggy weather didn't help. on tuesday i felt really good and decided last minute to go a longer route. to be honest i bit off more than i could chew and mentally bonked after about 45 minutes, my pace dropped steadily and then i got off the familiar route and ended up in a gross industrial part of town...sheesh!

so, with all the upheaval going on around here my camera is currently MIA. when it turns up i'll post a few pictures of my staycation adventure!

Kaboom

2010-05-22T10:45:00.000-07:00

Tonight were headed to Candlestick park for KFOG's listener appreciation party...the KABOOM SHOW. Melissa Ethridge is the headliner but I'm really jazzed about the John Butler Trio.

What's a mother to do?

2010-05-08T08:03:00.000-07:00

Totally off topic...it appears that in my absence my lame ass blog has been abducted by naughty asian girls who like to post naughty pictures of themselves...whatever.

M is is growing up fast. At the ripe old age of 14 she's rapidly forming strong opinions and views on a wide variety of subjects....none the least of which includes her utter disdain for her given middle name.

truth be told i half get why she feels the way she does.

instead of a name name, i opted to pass along my last name for a couple of reasons.
1. M's dad and i were not married at the time of her birth and while we were an "intact" couple and she has her dad's last name at the time i felt compelled as her unwed mother to include my name on her 1st legal documents. secondly, despite my puerto rican heritage my parents didn't speak spanish. i'm 3rd generation american and for the most part felt disconnected from my cultural roots...until i became a mother. my decision to insert my last name in there was some sort of cultural gesture, a way to remind her of her "puertorican-ness".

as is typical around here M and i can be hanging out, laughing whatever and in an instant things can get intense. M is becoming a young woman and as i mentioned has strong opinions, often misguided and ill-put at times.

last night was one of those nights. somehow the discussion veered off course and before i knew it we were full on feuding over her desire to change her middle name.

i get why she feels this way. with the exception of my mom and occasional face book comments M doesn't really know my side of the family. not for lack of effort i will add. suffice it to say, we're just not close. it's dysfunctional and from an early age i knew to keep my distance. i participate in occasional functions, but still keep my distance.

a year ago my half-sister from my dad's side reached out to me and we had a few visits and calls that ended rather abrubtly when M confided in her that her feelings were hurt because she hadn't accepted her multiple requests to be friends on face book. that bitch texted her a really harsh response that was completely inappropriate for a 13 year old girl. we have never spoke since. that said, among other reasons, because she and M share the same name, M wants to drop it.

i know she's only 14 and while she feels strongly now, there's a good chance she'll have a difference of opinion as an actual adult. i wanted to drop the subject, in fact stated when it was starting to escalate "uhm, why don't we have this argument when your 18? we've got plenty of material to tie us over till then" still, she wouldn't let up and things got ugly.

i guess while a part of me understands her point of view i guess what bothers me the most, is it feels like she's rejecting me. it wasn't just my cunt half-sisters name or our dead beat dads name. it was my name. thinking about it, my mother tended to give her kids family names too. my middle name was after my dad's crazy sister...seriously. physically she was beyond beautiful but a total head case. same for my other half-sister she was named after my mom's eldest sister, perhaps one of the most sadistic people i've ever met. still, i like my name and i don't relate it to a crazy relative. it's MY name.

when the time comes i will support M's decision. no doubt we will continue to be at odds on the topic but as her mother i need to pass on more than a name. ironically, with mothers day coming up i'm not feeling so mom-tastic.

week one

2010-02-13T06:19:00.000-08:00

monday i ran after work, uhg!

that somewhat "easy" 30 minute jackie warner workout i did on tuesday had me walking around like i had a stick up my butt for 2 days.

i was complaining about how sore my quads were still to monica on wed when we met up for a run. when we get together we tend to talk and walk alot more than run, and since we hadn't seen each other since before christmas and because i was still so sore it was a veritable gab fest.
there's a big hill i've always been curious about but never took the time to explore along side of the paved trail we were on and at my suggestion we checked it out. once to the top we followed the single track back down to the main trail and continued a short ways to the 1 mile mark. the hill warmed me up and the legs felt better than when i started so we started a slow jog. we turned around at the 1.5 mi mark and i ran the rest of the way back.

thursday i passed on happy hour with work friends and went home and did wii fit for 30 mins. mostly yoga and a couple of strengthening ex's.

by friday i was wondering why i hadn't incorporated a rest day...uhhh because you need to do SOMETHING in the way of physical activity every day duh! so as i'm loathe to do i waited till after dinner and went with T and took the dog for a 30 plus min walk.

so far the 30 day challenge has been doable and i can already feel habit starting to take hold.

30 DAY CHALLENGE

2010-02-10T06:49:00.000-08:00

as is typical for me, following a big endurance event i go into hiding for a while. i dunno. once the event is completed i tend to shift my focus on all the crap that went neglected while i trained . i have a really hard time balancing it all.

that said, 10 plus pounds creeped back on since october!

we've been working on the kitchen, remember that remodel we started about 3 years ago? anyhoo, i have spent every free minute over the last month prepping and painting my kitchen cabinets. T and i celebrated our 10 year anniversary and decided to spend money on sprucing up the cabinets. we swapped out old hardware for new and added crown molding. it looks amazing but as is want to do i'm itching to address the lighting and would love a new sliding glass door with a doggy door built-in versus the panel that's in place now.

it was a big job, all the sanding and kneeling to get to the lowest cabinets...yes i was extrememely thorough and with the exception of a few deeper sections everything was primed and double coated. my arms and knees got a workout for sure but it's not the same as really working out.

painting with all the wet weather wasn't the best move but i know i'll be too busy in the spring and summer with training to deal with it so i have no regrets, sure it took longer but now i have a pretty kitchen that has inspired us all to cook at home more.

so, i'm on day 5 of my 30 day challenge which is about re-establishing the habit of exercise. the point is to do something for a minimum of 30 mins daily. it usually works out to be more than that. back in '05 when i returned to running for the umpteenth time that's all i did. in '06 i discovered triathlon and that seemed to address the lack of cross training. then after my marathon in '07 things got really inconsistent all the way through to this past summer when i finally committed to training again for the pac grove tri in '09.

excercise for the sake of exercise has never held much interest to me. training for events did, but this cycle of going from balls to the wall to virtually nothing isn't working. i have my secrete heart on a couple of big events this year but what i really want to accomplish is the habit of working out over the long term not just for a specific event.

i'm no stranger to injury, i've let my ego get in the way when trying to reclaim former levels of fitness. still, i've been fortunate and only have laziness to blame for the current lack of excercise. so, for now i'm mainly concerned with consistency and not hurting myself. and while nothing will ever replace my love for a good long run i'm realizing more and more the need to strength train. rw has some great videos as does fit tv so there's no excuse when i don't get to the gym....not to mention the wii that hasn't been used in a months. tri club starts back up in march at the Y where i spin 1-2 x's a wk and the bart trail is close and paved which is a plus on these wet rainy days.

lastnight working out to the core video felt well kinda lame..and at times a little too easy but that's when i recalled a sage bit of advice my tnt coach gave and it's was essentially a reminder that in the beginning of an excercise program it should feel like you could do more....but if your patient and give your body time to adjust and don't do too much too soon it will pay off in the long run.

i'm in it for the long run.

Holidaze

2009-12-12T08:33:00.000-08:00

i'm just not feeling it this year.

doing a pretty good job at faking it though. the tree is up and a few bits of Christmas are strewn about the house. i even put in my 2 cents when one of my sister-in-laws suggested that we NOT do secrete santa this year...give me a break! even i with no x-mas spirit at all this year can get it up for that...as far as i know no one is destitute in our family and keeping it under twenty bucks seems reasonable. this year T came home the biggest ass wreath i've ever seen....completely dominates the door....that's my man for ya bigger is better.

M and i did a 5k last month...her 1st! she decided to go last minute with me and my friend Monica and her dtr. Brianna. she's been keeping me to my word to get us to the Y 3x's a week and has been working hard on building her endurance and wants to do another 5k....which we will be at the end of january.

my running has mainly taken place at the Y and i have been trying to work more on core strengthening. at the moment my right trap is KILLLING me...i think i may have strained myself on the inversion table while rotating side to side with a 6 lb. medi-ball.

i hosted Thanksgiving this year and to be honest it fell a little flat. i really have no desire to see these people again for Christmas. T and M will drop off gifts on Christmas Eve....while i'm at work and Christmas morning we're driving to Gardnerville for a White Christmas with friends. looking forward to snow shoeing for the first time and maybe just maybe the spirit of the season will take hold. in the meantime i'm faking my way through a few hand made gifts and will take a crack at gingerbread.

2009-09-22T20:20:00.000-07:00

Official race results for Tri4Real: 2:13:03

Went to Pilates yesterday. I'm sore in all sorts of new places today.

Tri4Real

2009-09-20T12:58:00.000-07:00

No long winded report. Suffice it to say I had a ton a fun.

The water was almost warm at 7 am. While waiting for my wave to go (last) I chatted with a few other 40something women and one was at Pac Grove last week and we agreed that was one hell of swim and that today was gonna be way mellower. The ride was flat and fast with only one hill that didn't slow me down AT ALL. The run for all intents and purposes was not bad. I only got off course once but not by much, the 4 miles took about 46 mins.

Official results aren't up yet but I'm calculating somewhere around 2:11:00?
This is most likely my last tri for the season, a half mile swim, an 18 mile ride and 4 mile run felt like the perfect distance. I renewed my Y club membership, joined up with a local race club and I'd like to find a half marathon to do in a few months. More importantly I want to keep active. This summer was a good start and I'm feeling strong and positive about the future.

Momentum

2009-09-15T09:17:00.000-07:00

Lastnight I registered for Shadow Cliffs Tri4Real this Sunday. It's a longer sprint 700 yd swim, 18 mile bike and a 4 mile run. Should be a fun workout. Recovery is going well. I walked alot Sunday at the Solano Stroll, took Monday off and I just got back from a sluggish 3 mile run, it's pretty warm already.

I'm not sure how to proceed with training at this point. The sprint will be my big workout this week so I guess I'll go light in the meantime. I'd like to swim sometime today because I may be going to the salon tomorrow if my hairdresser can get back to me ....I'm so close to the big chop!!

Pacific Grove Triathlon

2009-09-14T10:47:00.000-07:00

i wasn't sure how to set the hotel alarm clock, so i requested a 4 am wake up call. when the call came, i was in the middle of some weird non-race related dream and was seriously disoriented. it literally took a few minutes for me to realize where i was and more importantly why and what i was doing there.

i jumped into the shower to wake up, quickly changed and hauled myself and gear down to the lobby in search of coffee. other team mates were milling around and after securing my star bucks and instant oatmeal, before i knew it we were headed out into the dark misty morning to ride the 3 mile path to the transition area.

i picked up my race packet the day before and listened to a few pointers on the swim from 2 pro athletes and went for a swim with a few team mates. the water was calm, much like it had been a few weeks earlier when we came down to practice. the race buoys weren't set up yet and there was much debate on the actual course. the uncertainty of the course stressed me out a bit, i just needed a visual. the buoys i could see were way the hell out there and i started to get uneasy. peter, one of the mentors took it all in stride and led the small ban of swimmers in a 30 minute swim. despite the uncertainty of the course, i grew less anxious, in the water i felt comfortable, the familiarity gained from previous practice and swimming in my Lake Anza assured me i was going to be fine.

The Big Bad Swim

arriving at the transition area at 6am, we were greeted with entirely different swim conditions. the tide was coming in, the water was anything but flat and calm. the swells were HUGE. i really really started having doubts about whether or not i would get in. watching the first few waves go out, bodies were bobbing up and down. my wave didn't go out until 9:15 and fortunately things had calmed down a little by then but the conditions were nothing like what they had been during practice and while the water wasn't churning like earlier, the swells were still really really BIG.

coach seth asked me what my strategy was and i too quickly replied, "get it done", he then suggested i take it easy until the second half of the bike. ....5,4,3,2,1 the gun goes off and it seemed that my fear gave way to adrenalin and before i knew i was rounding the first buoy, each buoy 225 yds apart. i made a mental note of coach seths advice to slow down and when i completed the first loop (the first of many on this loopy course) i was surprised to feel good and totally confident that i could complete the second loop of this infernal swim. i swam a mile for the first time only a few weeks ago and it took me an hour and a half, so i was really pleased when i got out of the water in 00:50:30.

T1 5 plus mins, my transition area was right near the bike out so that was cool,once my fingers regained some feeling i managed to get out of the wetsuit, grabbed a dry shirt...helped a girl get into her wet tangled singlet an then took off.

The Bike

i really fell in love with my bike this summer and the ride was pure bliss. i had a smile on my face the entire course which consisted of (4) 6 mile loops. i averaged 24 min loops and finished in 01:37:56 boo ya! i managed to forget my sun glasses but the overcast never burned off so it was all good.

T2 4mins pulling off my bike shoe, i noticed blood on my left big toe. i then decided NOT to change socks and crammed my running shoes on for fear of making something out of nothing...turned out to be a good call, later when i did take a look it was a teeny tiny blood blister ...it didn't bother me on the run...not that the run was pleasant by any means but the blister was not the culprit...just my lack of running in general.

The Run

off all 3 disciplines, running was most neglected this season and it showed. The (3) 2 mile loops were monotonous and i just wanted it to be over. i took a few walk breaks so i could finish with some semblance of dignity, run done! 01:12:12

i met my goal for under 4 hours by 10 minutes. i'm most proud of my swim, i really can't believe i did it. i free styled the whole time, not needing to roll over or back float once. not that there's any shame in that at all! hell, you do what gotta do but i've struggled for so long to get comfortable with swimming and i am still a stunned at the conditions i found myself in on saturday. i think i will be for a long time.

Pre Pacific Grove

2009-09-10T05:24:00.000-07:00

after some fancy negotiating i was able to wrangle getting to work half day so i can head down to Pacific Grove for my BIG WEEKEND!

i'm filled with equal amounts of excitement and anxiety. i know i can finish the .93 mile swim i just hope i don't take a freaking hour and a half to do it! i'm hoping to get the bike done in 2 hrs and the run in 1 hr. i've seeded myself to finish within 4 hours so depending on when my wave goes out 9:15 am? with any luck i'll be basking in glory sometime around 1:00 pm. i know i'm cutting it close and i know i shouldn't get hung up on the numbers...but i still gotta have a goal right?

i'll try to check in over the weekend. TNT has a slew of events and whatnot planned for us over the next few days . what a fun summer it's been. i got back into shape while raising money for blood cancer. all the hard work is going to pay off when i cross that finish line!

2009-09-05T04:19:00.000-07:00

the last 2 nights or rather mornings i've been waking up around 3am. i guess i'm getting pre-race ansy a litle early. today we swim/run at shadow cliff...the same place i tri-ed in '06. i'm excited to see how much better i'll swim there this time around. every time i swam there in the past i could never get my face in the water. irregardless of what i could do in the pool it just never carried over into open water. now granted, in '06 i was just learning to freestyle and the first time i swam at shadow cliff it was late spring, cold as fuck and when i hit the water sans a wetsuit it occurred to me that maybe i had literally gone off the deep end.

My swim lesson with Liz was good. as i said before i wish i had gotten together with her sooner but i got some good tips and was able to carry a few of them over. my swim has come a long way but it still needs alot of work. it's so important to put speed and endurance on the back burner and focus on form first!!!

i bit the bullet and bought a tri back pack. my neon orange duffle bag worked fine in the past but it's hard to deal with on the bike. we have to ride about mile to get to the swim start, so a back pack will be easier to handle while riding. the triathlete store, while there was some confusion about available colors offered excellent customer service and a wide range of product at affordable prices.

my right thigh is still quite sore from last weeks hilly ride. i'm pretty sure it'll be fine by next week and if my massage therapist can get her act together and not overbook herself again ..like she did last night and had to cancel...i'll get it worked out. so for now the dreaded foam roller will have to suffice, ouch!

Butterflies

2009-09-02T08:09:00.000-07:00

M goes back to school today. She's grown up alot this past summer and despite being a little nervous she's got the cool 8th grader vibe down to a tee.

After dropping her off, I'll be heading out for my private swim lesson with coach Liz. Unlike my cool 8th grader I'm more than a bit nervous, fortunately it's all the way out in Dublin and I'll have time to settle down. It's going to be fine as long as I can get past the thought of "WHY IN THE HELL DIDN'T I DO THIS SOONER!!" Whatever coach Liz has to offer isn't going to reveal itself on race day...it's less than 2 weeks away. I just need to be open to her direction and keep focused

Swim Analysis

2009-08-30T08:05:00.000-07:00

yesterday we were all video taped in the pool and then watched and received individual feedback from all 3 coaches.

1)when i roll to breath, i tend to look back (causing my head to lift too high..causing drag and zag).

2) as my arm is entering the water the opposite arm tends to "drop" vs staying elongated ...it was suggested that i practice the "catch-up" drill, my coach also described it like handing off a pencil, imagine as you reach out, that your holding a pencil and that hand stays stretched out (holding the pencil) until the other hand can grasp it.

3)my pull is premature, i need to wait until i see my forearm ...about chest level, then "push" the water towards my feet.

i've heard this feedback before, but seeing myself on tape was invaluable. instead of feeling overwhelmed by all the critique, i know exactly which drills to apply to self-correct. it makes so much more sense now. meeting monica at lake anza today, i will focus less on endurance and more on form.

trading a massage for a swim lesson with coach liz this wednesday. having spent some time in the water, the feedback is more meaningful now. there so many subtleties in swimming...i remember stressing out whenever i just read anything on technique it was all so foreign, not that i'm anywhere close to fluent but i'm starting to get below the surface and understand things better. i think i'll be more prepared when i see coach liz this week.

in need of some hair-apy

2009-08-29T06:06:00.000-07:00

my swim has improved alot over the last several weeks but i will admit that i'm under trained and i have what will appear to be an extremely lame excuse. i HATE getting my hair wet. more specifically, i HATE the drying and styling process afterwards. it's fine if i have say a couple of hours to spare which is seldom the case. so i've been swimming mostly on the weekends averaging 2 swims a week.

there's one other woman of color on my team and she keeps her hair really short which i just can't bring myself to do. lately i've been considering going back to nature. transitioning from straight processed hair to my natural curls.
just thinking about going natural again is stressing me out, my thick course wild child mane has been processed into submission for so long the very idea of going au natural is daunting. the curl isn't the issue, it's the poof factor. there's an administrator at work who has completely embraced her nappiness and while i totally respect the snubbing of conformity, i'm sorry but she looks like shit.

clearly, i've got some evolving to do.

i'm a sucker for product. i learned about OUIDA, hair care that claims to tame and enhance ones natural curliness. i'll share more after i've used it before going any further.

FINALLY

2009-08-26T16:34:00.000-07:00

I met Monica at Lake Anza today and swam 1 mile for the first time. it was slow going, i didn't pay too much attention to time or speed i just needed to prove to myself that i could go the distance. i'll roughly estimate and say i hit the water around 11:20 and was out by 12:38. i felt good upon exiting the water, totally ready to ride...not that i did...we're meeting for track tonight so we opted to sunbathe instead.

This past weekend some of the team met up at the race site down in Pacific Grove to swim and ride the race courses. the infamous kelp crawl was on the agenda. turns out i'm cool with the kelp...but i am of the opinion that the water in pac grove tasted saltier, brinier than aquatic park...which took some getting used to. we swam approximately a half mile and really focused more on sighting and swimming through "salad". The ride is a series of (4) 6 mile loops, a little disappointing considering all the gorgeous coastline in the area but the event is meant to be very spectator friendly.

not withstanding a generous donation to myself i met my minimum for fund raising....actually went over a little. $3,350.00 for Blood Cancer research, not too shabby if i do say so.

fundraising was both hard and rewarding, i'm pretty sure my next event will NOT involve fundraising but working out with TnT definitely reignited my love for this crazy sport and I made few new local friends who i will want to keep in touch with. i feel like a winner already. just a few more workouts and it will be showtime!

Baby Love

2009-08-14T19:54:00.000-07:00

Aquatic Park

2009-07-25T11:49:00.000-07:00

this post is a little, the photos weres taken last saturday during our team open water swim in sf. after the coaches demoed how to don a wetsuit we got into ours and did a 20 minute swim and i tell ya it.was.AWESOME!

next to my fundraising (which is going well btw 1 hr. massages at 50 bucks a pop are getting me there) the swim has been most worrisome. after the initial shock of cold i acclimated pretty quickly and i started to swim. i was actually enjoying myself..the calm flat water and blue skies certainly helped and seriously, i was euphoric coming out the water. confidence is the greatest high!

making it up as i go

2009-07-05T15:10:00.000-07:00

it was time to inject a little fun into my training today. i wanted to go for an easy run so i headed for the BART trail. i wanted to keep things flat so i could try some fartlek. before i knew it i was at the pivotal turn that leads towards the Marina and quite a few lovely hills. i opted to go left and see what would happen. cruising towards COSTCO there are a number of side streets that are all pretty hilly. i then decided to do a few hill repeats. short but rather steep i pushed hard and recovered longer before repeating. i did this 4xs.

then on towards COSTCO again i slowed down for a good ways until i got past Golden Gate Fields and ran inland towards San Pablo. i would pick a landmark and alternated between running fast and walking the last mile or so. i ran a total of 5 miles averaging an 11:30 pace.

i got home and grabbed a quick bite and then swam for 40 minutes working on some drills and finally swimming 300 yds non-stop.

i'm taking a break at the moment, but the work continues as i tackle my disgusting kitchen floor. bleh! i'd rather be on the bike.

Happy 4th of July

2009-07-04T13:54:00.000-07:00

i met up with my team mate Ingrid today at the pool and got a few pointers on some of the drills that were included in our workout. She's a strong swimmer and has done the Pacific Grove Tri twice and will doing the Nation's Tri in DC. the swim went well today, just what i needed to offset the lingering stiffness from yesterday's ride.... an uneventful ride i'm happy to mention.

Happy 4th everyone, i'm gonna get the grill fired up soon. i've been marinating pork ribs since yesterday and can't wait to dig in.

sometimes......

2009-07-03T09:13:00.000-07:00

it takes a weeks worth of lousy workouts to get to a really awesome one.

last week was my trial by fire so to speak.

my swim while greatly improved from the first time i TRI-ed is clearly my weakest link. i've been struggling with the workouts and feeling frustrated. the truth is i just need to back off and not get over anxious about getting faster and just focus on form, breathing, and endurance.

i learned a whole lot about fixing flats last week. i got not one but three flats. the first one occurred while hauling ass over a manhole....note to self remove sunglasses when riding in a shady area.

my first attempt to fix the flat took about 45 mins. i got about a mile down the road when i heard another pop. i didn't inflate the tube with air before placing it back into the tire and my guess is it got twisted or pinched. so, i walked about a mile or so to the bike shop (luckily i wasn't out in the middle of nowhere) i purchased another tube and attempted to fix it again. the bike peeps were ready to help but i insisted that i do it myself....by this time my kid is calling me wondering where i am and i'm explaining that she'll have to walk home from bart because i'm in the middle of a situation here...she's understanding initially but can't i been done in 30 mins to pick her up...i assure her that's a reasonable request however she's gonna need to walk the home)...

anyhoo, i'm spread out in the parking lot trying to fix the tire...ironically i have no trouble removing or putting on the the back tire...it's the removing, returning and filling the tube that's not going well. i manhandled the tube and the tire so badly that the tube popped and the tire ripped AND I HAD TO PURCHASE ANOTHER TIRE ALONG WITH A SECOND TUBE.

and don't even get me started on CO2 cartridges.

i was so irritated by this point that it over shadowed any embarrassment i was feeling earlier, i let the bike guy insert the third tube into the new tire and i placed it on the bike. so i am 50% competent with flats.

suffice it to say the bike and i haven't been too cozy this week and i need to ride today. i watched a you-tube video last night and from all the experience i got last week i think i'm ready to get back in the saddle.

i've been working out at the track with team on wednesday night. despite the mental conversation i have all day about whether i'll go or not , i go and it's always fun and hard. lastweek my period really drained my energy and the run on sunday was not enjoyable at all. my mileage has been low as we've been concentrating on drills and hill repeats. i haven't had the euphoric feeling that kicks in after a good long run in awhile. yesterday i put in 5 miles and most of it was hilly and while it wasn't super intense i did get a little taste of happy. about an hour later i kicked ass in the pool and had an awesome workout, felt relaxed and strong and got out of the pool in a good mood for a change.

i was thinking last night how training for triathlon is like raising kids. i'm the parent of an only child by choice, for our family one child is enough. with all the time and attention i'm giving triathlon, it's become my other family so to speak and i'm having to learn to divide my time and attention learning each "kids" quirks and personality. the more i swim, ride and run i am beginning to appreciate the ability to accept each one for what they are, the swim though she vexes me has introduced me to a completely different way of working out. we're getting to know each other better and i'm actually starting to like her.

the bike is a good reminder that riding is not mindless. it's not enough to ride well. i've been lax about the technical aspects of riding and need to work on the basics more. being 100% self sufficient is my goal.

the run has changed. i miss the long slow distance runs, but working with a coach and focusing on drills and STRECTHING PROPERLY (probably for the first ever) has made a tremendous difference. i'm still slow, but trusting the training and it seems to be paying off.

TNT - wk 3

2009-06-20T12:35:00.000-07:00

Mon - rest

Tues - masters swim class pushed hard 1.5 hrs 1700 yds

Weds - team track/ hill repeats - did not puke.

Thurs - master swim class - i was tired took it easy swam 1.0 hr. 800 yds

Fri - rest

Sat - opted to sleep in and skip team workout, attended stroke clinic at MLK pool instead, i really benefited from this today, was introduced to butterfly for the first time...ugh!....breast but mostly freestyle...the subtler aspects of this stroke are making more sense...love my team mates but i appreciated the smaller class and more attention.

me at wed track....before the evil hill portion of the workout...

Sun - could run w/team or do a ride/run brick on my own.

T and M arrive back late tonight from NYC. I still need to get T something for Father's day and I'd like to swing by the grocery store for a few of his favorite things. That man just spent 4 days with our 13 y.o. daughter and all her fabulousity....I think a bottle Glenn Levitt is in order.

swimming at sunset

2009-06-16T21:19:00.000-07:00

tonight i swam with the masters group at my local pool....finally.

my pool has been closed for renovations and i had to go to one 2 towns over. the coach was very nice and while the tone was low key it was a very challenging workout. 8 easy 50s, 100, 50, 200, 50, 300, 50, easy 100. i felt my heart rate climbing and was a bit nauseous at the end.

i don't suppose the grilled chicken sandwich i ate an hour before had anything to do with it. normally i wouldn't of ate so much before working out but T and M were leaving tonight for New York and we wanted to have dinner together before they had to leave.

i started sneezing again and the headache kicked in shortly after but i pushed along. i'm sure the fact that i paid an extra buck for a structured workout help keep me on task. not sure what the headaches are about most likely a combination of dehydration and poor breathing.

on the way to the pool you could seen the fog hovering. as i worked my way up and down my lane the sun began to drop below the marine layer and rays of light pierced the waters surface. it's funny how light can transform a modest community pool into a sanctuary.

TNT PHOTOS

2009-06-15T14:34:00.001-07:00

i would never do this it it weren't for charity!

Our first training ride out near Moraga Intervals at DVC Track....very nice and cushy i might add.

kinda crazy

2009-06-14T07:33:00.000-07:00

after yesterdays swim/run work out all i had gumption to do when i got home was shower, eat and take up residence on the couch ....the remainder of the day. i watched 3 movies and ate half a pan of brownies. they were thin!

as i mentioned , i showered but i was too tired to deal with my hair. if i don't blow dry or flat iron my hair it turns into an afro. this needless to say has caused many a revision in my swim schedule. i don't swim before work because of the time required to allow it to air dry for an hour first then blow dry with a comb attachment and then flat iron. women of color (i'm puerto rican) who opt for the straight look but want to swim understand the dilemma here.

yesterday i was too tired to deal with my hair and by 7pm i was looking pretty poofy. and i mean really poofy. in order to fit the bike helmet on i had to finally deal with it this morning. the irony here being, here i am drying and flattening and straightening my hair only to acquire the dreaded helmet hair.

kinda crazy, no?

bad swim

2009-06-10T06:30:00.000-07:00

every so often a workout can suck monumentally.

i was actually looking forward to my swim practice lastnight. my usual pool was too crowded, the one closest to home was closed for maintenance so i had to go across town for a third option.

from start to finish everything was off and the fact that my allergies chose to kick in did not help at all. i sneezed pretty much the entire work out. i'm guessing the pool was extra chlorinated and i'm just sensitive to it. swimming is tiring enough without the added exertion of rapid fire sneezing every other lap.

seriously

needless to say i couldn't really keep track of my intervals. shit i can barely count laps when i'm not distracted.

i work half day and then have a team track work out tonight in pleasant hill. after last nights horrible swim i'm really wishing i hadn't agreed to carpool to tonight's training because i could go in early and swim at my most favorite pool in concord before track, oh well, hopefuly tonight's workout will go better.

Time Trials

2009-06-07T07:57:00.000-07:00

after being on the fence about wednesday night's track workout i finally decided to go despite the fact that i HATE to run late in the day especially when i happen to not work on said day and the idea of working out at the end of said day is not so appealing. however, NOT having to be on my feet all day at work NOR having to rush from Kentfield to Pleasant Hill turned out to be prety good reasons NOT to skip it, besides I needed the push myself out of the old comfort zone.

coach seth had us warm-up, one of the other trainers ran us through a few goofy looking drills and then coach seth's evil plan for us was revealed. we were going to do a 2 mile time trial. 2 miles in 20 minutes being the goal. i immediately regretted not having my Garmin, i distinctly recall choosing not to bring it because i was afraid it would appear showy. now faced with a time trial, i wasn't so sure of my pacing skills to pull things off.

we were told to keep track of our laps while coach would call out our times . the 3/4 mile warm-up i did prior apparently did me some good cause i felt loose and connected with my stride. i did my best to keep things slow and even , i really was regretting not having my garmin because i can't recall any of my lap times but with coach calling them out each time i passed i was able to adjust my pace. as i passed a couple of women one of them was nancy, my new mentor and she called out, " you look like a runner!" that felt nice to hear. even after such a long break in consistent training, compared to the other two disciplines i feel more like a runner than a swimmer or cyclists.

i haven't pushed for a sub ten minute mile in a while and by lap 7 i was really working hard to keep focused , my breathing was labored but by no means out of control, my form may have shifted a bit because it was right around that time that my old mentor pulled up and started yacking away about coordinating steps with breathing and how a smile on ones face wouldn't hurt. at which point i flashed him a fakey grin and spewed out something to tune of "yeah, maybe i'll smile when this isn't so hard" he kept yacking away, about form or whatever the hell and well needless to say i found him to be more distracting then helpful and i let know it.

as i passed coach on lap 7, i knew i had a good shot at sub 20 if i cranked it up. i completed 2 miles in 19:25. as i cooled down i was really glad i timed all my eating well that day BECAUSE I ALMOST HURLED. i took a few minutes to compose myself before reporting to another trainer the # of laps and my time. i think not knowing that we were doing time trials probably was an advantage because i tend to have performance anxiety. for someone who normally doesn't like surprises it turned out to be a good thing, . i should also add how NICE DVC's track is, spong-o-liscious.

on saturday, meeting up at Miramonte HS for a swim and a ride. we did a bunch of drills. i have a tendency to lift my head too high during a breath which causes my hips to sink...coach actually called on me to demonstrate this to other swimmers in my group, it was embarrassing but effective because my form was better after that..... and then coach seth surprised us again with another time trial. the goal was 16 laps in 8 minutes. i completed 10:16 in 8 minutes. slow but with improved form. yay me!

we broke up into 3 groups for the ride, i rode with the intermediate grp. from the school we rode out to canyon through moraga, only 15 minutes out and back but a few good hills to remind me that i need to work on the bike more, as lately i've been focusing on my swim the most.

last night T and i went for a walk and we noticed our brother in-law Neil and a couple of his friends standing outside of T-Rex a local watering hole, one of his friends had a Arizona Ironman T-shirt on, Neil was quick to introduce us and we had a nice chat talking about all the great places to ride in the east bay. we seemed to have the same philosophy, content to be fit enough to play. not fast, no hard-core competition, just happy to participate. awesome!

272713.jpg (JPEG Image, 640x480 pixels) - Scaled (93%)

2009-06-05T18:35:00.000-07:00

272713.jpg (JPEG Image, 640x480 pixels) - Scaled (93%)

2009-06-02T19:26:00.000-07:00

i packed my swim bag this morning but realized i forgot to bring dry clothing to change into after wards on the way to the pool after work, uhg! that meant by passing the pool going home to get a change of clothes than backtracking to the pool. i really try to avoid going home first because there's always that chance that i won't go back out but fortunately my grouchy teenager made it easy to not want to stay home and after grabbing a few things i headed back out....finally M's moodiness served some good!

with my workout in the clear plastic sleeve compliments of TNT i fumbled through the drills, similar to the ones we worked on on sunday. i felt tired and sluggish. i was suppose do 100 strokes every 25 yds. but kept losing count because apparently it requires skill to count and swim simultaneously.

drills baby drills

2009-05-31T12:17:00.000-07:00

christopher turned out not be a psycho and we arrived in plenty of time to watch the trainers warm-up in the pool before we participants got started. i seeded myself with the beginners in the shallow pool and we all worked on the basics. our coach mary jo was fun and was in the water with us demonstrating each drill. other trainers stood on deck watching us from the surface. there were trainers in each lane waching us as we worked our way down the lane to give advise as well.

i'm still a beginner but i'm so much further along this season...i already saw improvement just with a few tips here and there today. it's good to be past the frustration i felt when i was first learning to swim. my left arm seems to have a mind of it;s own...lazy, weak, definitely NON-DOMINANT. coach said the side we tend to breath on is our stronger stroke side.

after swimming we gathered around another trainer and watched him change a back tire. very good stuff know how to do for sure. on the way home i showed christopher the 3 bears bike route, i hadn't been there in a while and couldn't recall how far it was. turns out to be approximately 13 miles of mainly long gradual climbs.

and we're off

2009-05-31T05:57:00.000-07:00

it's almost 6am sunday morning. i'll be leaving shortly to meet christopher, a guy i met at yesterday's TNT kick-off. we'll be meeting the rest of the team for our first swim practice out in moraga. i just met him yesterday, when he mentioned to the group he needed a ride so i offered. i hope he's not a psycho! haha, truth be told i'm more concerned with the not-so-subtle pressure i picked up on to surpass my minimum fund raising goal of $3,300.00. that's a whole lotta georgies! in a weird way though being more worried about the money than the swim is kinda refreshing, go figure!

Classic Me

2009-05-24T09:38:00.000-07:00

about 40 minutes into yoga class my mind started to wander and i was struck with the thought that i needed to be somewhere else...that somewhere else being the TNT Kick-Off at the oakland convention center. for some weird reason i had 2 dates rolling around in my head 5/25 and 5/30. considering how yesterday was neither one of those dates you may wonder what my deal was?

i've been away from bikram for a while now and all i can attribute my lack of orientation to was feeling dizzy and under hydrated. i tried to push the thought out of my head not entirely convinced that i was forgetting something as important as Kick-Off but clearly i was distracted and as my mind wandered so did my sense of balance and when the instructor (who totally rocked) said "if you find yourself not focusing, think about what your thinking about." i took that as my cue to cut yoga short and see if i could at least show up for the end of Kick-Off. of course i went home to check my dates and saw that Kick-Off wasn't until next Saturday. classic me. i then decided to watch my total immersion video and go swimming.

As i stepped onto the pool deck my cell phone rang and it was my TNT mentor Peter. we chatted for a bit as it was our first contact. we talked mostly about the swim, mentioning of course that i just getting ready to workout. i admitted my concerns about open water and i liked what he had to say about getting into a groove and swimming uninterrupted. i added pool vs open water as compared to treadmill vs trail. i think his call was well timed because i pushed myself and swam 1000 yards, my longest swim so far.

i rode out to the berkeley marina this morning then ran 4 miles along the BART trail. my right calf started to stiffen up again about 1.5 miles but i was able to keep going with out pain, it's just tight.

after my run i grabbed Brandy and walked around the neighborhood during which i noticed the beginnings of a hot spot on the ball of my right foot, i looked down and realized that i threw on the wrong running shoes and just ran 4 miles in a long retired pair of asics!

don't i just oooze coolness!

Wordy Wednesday

2009-05-20T13:57:00.000-07:00

"Be tenacious, keep your vision even when your injured"
-coach emery

i've been working on my swim and i completed 700 yards today, woohoo! not without short rests every 75 yds. or so, which by the way is AWESOME for me. i felt pretty good about my left side breathing something clicked the other day and though i still have to sneak up on it by finding my rhythm on the right first things are started to get bilateral.

i noticed pain in my right calve after my 6 mile run a little over a week ago. it had me limping a bit after wards and i took a few days off of running. when i ran on Sunday, because it was so hot and i was shuffling more than running i hadn't noticed anything wrong but when i ran yesterday about a 1.5 miles into it i had to pull over stretch for a good while before i could resume running and it was not pleasant i assure you.

in a rush at home to get to work i foolishly secured an ice pack directly onto my calve with an ace wrap, not taking time to wrap the ice pack in something first and i ended up giving my self an ice burn...brilliant! working in the rehab industry i have access to helpful modalities and did a little ultrasound on my leg at lunch. i need to find my foam roller.

coach emery isn't my coach per se he's a lifeguard at the my pool and has a just a very good vibe about him. i never mentioned my leg injury, nor was i limping on deck when i walked up to him to chat a little after my workout today. he just has a knack for saying the right thing because truthfully i was feeling a bit down about my leg.

i had my teeth cleaned this morning and my hygienist while not an athlete herself is very active with the oakland tech high school runners and is going to LA this weekend with the team for the LA marathon, she was very excited for me and had positive energy about my event. both hers and emery's comments were very appreciated as some peoples reactions have been a bit mixed. true it's going to hard and scary but that's kinda the point, no?

i rode my bike to the pool and after the workout i rode the longer hilly way home, my leg feels a little stiff but i can fully weight bear and i'm feeling much better about everything.

ah yes, it's coming back to me....

2009-05-17T14:59:00.001-07:00

that wobbly feeling you get from trying to run after a ride, even though i'm not sure i'd call it an actual brick i rode for about an hour came home changed at a leisurely pace and than ran 3 miles. the ride was cool, the run not so much and i use the term "run" liberally as it was more of a shuffle...mind over matter my legs wanted to stop but i kept going. we bay area folks are currently experiencing a mild heat wave and i'm dripping and panting as i write this post. swimming 3 days a week at el cerritto pool, i'm almost feeling good enough to hang with the masters 6am group soon.

Pacific Grove Olympic Triathalon

2009-05-02T11:26:00.000-07:00

well, it appears that i've finally gone an registered for a race...my first olympic distance triathalon with the team in training....though, i don't think my head has actually registered with it just yet.....between the .93 mile open water swim or the fund raising commitment i can confidently say i've got some challenges ahead of me this year.

a good cause

2009-05-02T07:41:00.000-07:00

while i've been running purely for pleasure and thoroughly enjoying myself it's been haphazard and i've had a hard time tapping into "race mode". when kate mentioned she was going to a Team In Training information meeting conveniently located in my city i was intrigued. when katrina got interested my curiosity grew. so i'm going just to check it out. the thing i'm most worried about is the fundraising as i have very little experience with it. we're all interested in doing the half-marathon but i'm not ruling out another triathalon. so we'll see....

sisters

2009-04-15T14:38:00.000-07:00

happy feet

2009-03-18T11:22:00.000-07:00

there ain't nothing like a good running shoe. the fine folks at TRANSPORT on solano turned me onto to a new brand. normally loyal to asics, i tried on saucony's progrid omni 7 ultimate. we've been running together a couple of months now and during today's 5 miler when fatigue started to creep up i'd check in with my feet and they felt damn good. the weather today is GORGEOUS just perfect for a run....i know we need the rain....but nobody was happier than me to be outside in the sun today. not even the ipod batteries pooping out after the first mile could alter my good mood......and things just got better when i called in for jury duty and didn't have to serve. woohoo!

welcome to the middle of the road

2009-02-21T10:45:00.000-08:00

the comedian dana carvey said it well when he pointed out the as one enters middle age you can get hurt doing absolutely nothing.

last year just before thanksgiving towards the end of my shift i was careless about body mechanics and strained my back while transferring a not-so-small brain injured marine back to bed. luckily i had requested friday off so i had 5 days to recover...i never said a word to my employer. i returned to work after my holiday cautious but able to resume my duties. the incident was however a wake up call that i really needed to get myself back on track with exercise and especially core fitness.

not long after i discovered bikram yoga. i've been to 10 sessions since i started in mid january and the 90 minute sessions are tough. the running is still not where i want it to be but but about halfway around ceasar chavez this morning i caught a glimpse of hope that i'm still a runner and just have to build up again.

so back to my opening comment, on monday about 15 minutes into my shift i was at a patients bedside and as i reached to adjust his pillow my right upper back seized up and a sharp knife like pain swept along the my intercostals.......wtf! i was in agony and all i did was extend my right arm, no lifting , no twisting, again wtf!!!

i had to speak up this time and make the walk of shame to occupational medicine and get checked out. the most obvious limitation was trying to twist to my left side ...it hurt allot! my doctor, who looked about 20 and more like a model than an MD was despite my immediate disdain for her quite sweet and after a few other choice moves that hurt like hell gave me a slip for modified duty and a bottle of ibuprofen...800 mg of course.

so i iced and ate ibuprofen the next 2 days, on wednesday morning i woke up at 5 am in pain and decided to go the 6 am yoga class and it totally blew. i forced myself to stay the entire session and i just did what i could. after wards i wallowed in self pity for a few hours and then i re-read some of my past blog entries and a few others and before i knew it i was picking myself up and dusting myself off. i've always said a shitty workout is often better than no workout.

friday i awoke pain free and when i went to occ. med for a check-up i was given a clean bill of health and am back on regular duty. i went for 3 miler this morning and took a few walk breaks with no weird ego issues, just glad and grateful than i can move and work and be active.

still around

2009-01-10T10:40:00.000-08:00

in the last few weeks i've managed to climb back on the fitness train. i'm not interested in registering for any races still but i've been getting in 2 pre-dawn runs a week. i broke up with "Y" and found an awesome bikram yoga studio in el cerritto...i crave heat and have taken to this form of yoga like a duck to water.

my laptop has been in the clutches of repair for weeks....don't ever send your computer in for repair over the holidays...slow, slow, slow.........so at i'm at M's mercy when she's in a rare good mood to use hers...arrgg, meanagers! happy belated new year to anyone who still stops by....i try to check in when M is not looking....when i get my laptop back i'll write more about my comeback, HA HA HA!!!

climate change and sustainability

2008-11-16T11:50:00.001-08:00

sheesh,you hardly know how to dress these days. last weekend i was rummaging through boxes digging out sweaters and long sleeve shirts and yesterday i tore the closet apart searching out tank tops.
last week i was baking lasagnas and quick breads and this weekend the thought of even entering the kitchen is unsettling.....things better chill out soon or it's chips and cold-cuts come thanksgiving!

so, apparently i'm no longer a early bird runner..still a runner just not at the butt-crack of dawn kind of runner. i left the house this morning around 8:45 and ran mostly on the asphalt along Peralta and over to Colusa, both nice long stretches that wind through berkeley/albany residential areas. by the time i got to the big hill on colusa i stripped my shirt off and mostly ran to the top. i'm usually more modest but the heat factor dismissed that right away and i ran in my sports all the way home.

i'm not putting anywhere near the mileage,time or energy into training these days but i get in 1-2 runs a week, somewhere between 3-5 miles a pop and you know, it's all good. i logged onto active.com recently looking for a race that might appeal to me and nothing really did.

i've been happily spending time at my new studio getting my sewing and craft materials organized. i'm really lucky to have such a sweet husband who finally agreed that the extra expense was worth it. i have a nice clean well lit space in emeryville, 5 mins. from home to work on various projects that can be left out for me to pick-up on at my leisure.

i've been lurking allot and a few favorite bloggers seem to be resurfacing here and there. i've not spent allot time blogging myself but i check in on many of you daily.

i really like the new job. i just had my 90 day review and i'm so happy i could go on an on but i'll spare you. suffice it to say the right job at the right time in my career has made a profound and positive difference in my well-being.

M and i were out last night and we ran into her pre-school teacher and her partner. Laila, was more than a pre-school teacher, more like a pre-school goddess. she has the most amazing way of saying so much in so few words. she along with her staff literally taught me everything i know about parenting. we've been casual contact over the years and running into her last night was timely.

M is a teenager now, and to be honest i tend to think of how much of a drag this fact is for me, the tortured mom of a drama queen. Laila put it so succinctly when she said "the only thing harder than being a parent of a teenager is being a teenager" i don't know why but it was like a loving smack upside the head rendered by a loving trusted alli that resonated deep down. for as hard and unmanageable as it seems at times, being what i need to be for M, Laila reminded me of how important perspective is and how tough this time is for M too. it's so easy to get caught up in the "all i do for you", "your so ungrateful...", or "when i was your age...." instead of focusing on how hard her behavior is on me it really makes sense to step back and remember how fucken hard it was at her age, how insecure and frustrated i was...(am still sometimes..)

so i find myself spending less time high on a ridge somewhere, less focused on training or the next race and more time in places like Sephora or Claires or Ikea. i still have to carve out me time, i do but with less intensity. i like the pace at which i'm moving right now. it feels sustainable.

GO OBAMA

2008-11-04T07:42:00.000-08:00

VOTING WITH A VENGEANCE. DECKED IN RED, WHITE AND BLUE AND GETTING MY PATRIOT ON. LIKE MICHELE SO ELOQUENTLY PUT IT BACK IN THE BEGINNING OF THIS INCREDIBLE CAMPAIGN, I TOO FEEL PROUD FOR THE FIRST TIME TO BE AN AMERICAN AND I BELIEVE WITH MY WHOLE HEART BARRACK OBAMA IS GOING TO TAKE US ON A PATH OF RENEWAL AND SELF DISCOVERY.

IF NOTHING ELSE THIS MAN HAS INSPIRED PEOPLE TO LOOK UP AND REMEMBER THAT OURS IS A GOVERNMENT FOR THE PEOPLE BY THE PEOPLE AND THAT WE CAN COLLECTIVELY AND INDIVIDUALLY MAKE DIFFERENCES THAT MATTER. HE'S INSPIRED ME TO BELIEVE IN MY EFFORTS AND TO GET INFORMED AND INVOLVED AND THAT WILL STICK REGARDLESS OF TODAY'S OUTCOME.

peeing in public and epiphanies

2008-08-20T17:07:00.000-07:00

had a nice run up at Lone Oak again...without Brandy this time. 3 miles in 36 minutes.

as soon as i hit the trail i had to pee. i don't have a problem with taking a leak in the brush when necessary but i am vain enough to CARE if i'm caught with my ass hanging out and because this low key loop is popular there's always a good chance of that.

there was a guy that i had to pass to find the shoot off trail to some privacy. i trotted down a little embankement, crossed a creek and hid amongst a few big ole redwoods but still could hear that guy on the nearby main trail...which made my bladder bashful and the longer it took the more certain i became of getting caught with my pants down! eventually i relieved myself and headed over towards the main trail.

i was father along than i realized and found myself climbing right away. there's always this point when i'm on a hill when i start bargaining and it realy works. i give myself permission to back off and one of two things happen: 1) i back off guilt free or 2) i just keep going. this loop is half the distance and steepness of Strawbery but is very challenging with longish climbs in certain sections. i hiked it this past sunday and running it today felt hard but not too hard like Strawberry and i should've started here to begin with several weeks ago but i let my pride get in the way .............and now that that's out in the open i'm going to publicly give myself permission to backoff on the 20K.

Torn

feeling "soft" and "bloaty" having uncomfortable periods (when i was more active i barely noticed them) and the fear of menopause (i'm 45 now) has me reconsidering my lazy ways. i needed to register for a race so it would register in my body that i needed to start moving again.

at the time a 20k seemed reasonable i had plenty of time to train i just didn't and then i tried to cram and while i didn't do any real damage to my knee it's strained. it never bothers me when i run and i just avoid leading with the right leg on the downhills but still there's some discomfort especially when i walk on pavement. it was a dumb move on my part to try and rush things along after virtually no trail running for 6 months!

what is it with me and actually training? the only time i really trained was for the sprint tri's in 06. everything with the exception of golden hills last october was relatively easy because i was able to rely on my base. now that's pretty much shot and i really am starting over....and i know this because even though i could run 6 to 10 miles right now it would hurt. just because i can doesn't mean i should.

mistakes are good it you learn from them. i started training late and then tried to cram fitness in. my pride has been hurt as much as my knee and i resolve to show fitness the respect it deserves. it took me a long time to build up to runs like Strawberry. i need to appreciate that more and build up slower.

i'm lucky to live pretty close to the parks and Redwood is beautiful. i dig the low key vibe of pctr. there smaller and it's not long before i'm left with my thoughts on the trail. i like the commaderie but i enjoy the me time i get on a trail run the most. races allow me to feel safe, supported and enable me to explore terrain i'd otherwise might not be so bold to.

anyhoo, we'll just have to see how it goes. i ran (road) monday before work and today (dirt) the plan is to repeat monday's run on friday before work and maybe a modified Strawberry run sunday,otherwise Lone Oak for sure.

it feels good to be moving again. a routine is slowly beginning to emerge. time will tell if i can be patient with myself. sliding behind the wheel of my car as i left Lone Oak this morning i licked the salty grin on my lips and thought "oh yeah this is why i run"

2008-08-17T09:42:00.000-07:00

running on sidewalks isn't the only reason for sore legs, truth is my right knee is still tender from my over enthusiastic return to trail running a couple of weeks ago, namely charging down Strawberry and favoring my right leg.

despite knowing better i've broken runnings cardinal rule. build up slow and steady. it's always always worked for me in the past so why i've succumbed to this on and off bullshit approach to getting ready for a 20k is beyond comprehension. i just need to base build and focus on having fun again.

i took brandy to lone oak this morning and about 5 minutes into our hike she got spooked by an older couple walking towards us. the goofball stopped dead in her tracks sniffed out a low growel and hightailed the opposite direction, almost all the way back to the car. so picture me with poop bags, leash, keys and water bottle chasing my dog...good times. when we were well out of view of the "scary couple" she slinked over to me and had to stay on-leash for the remainder of the way.

lots of fog in the canyon this morning, misty and fragrant i love this trail. brandy's ears perked a few times to the sound of owls hooting. we reached the summit in about 30 minutes and trotted down the other side in about 15. my knee liked the gentler descent and while not a real hard workout it cleared my head and was just the right amount of outdooor time to keep me in the loop so to speak.

in other news, this year T and I celebrated birthdays together and had one party and my SIL gave us gift certificate for Sur La Table, a fancy smancy kitchen store. with M at my mom's for a sleepover we had time to shop undistracted. we got a really cool indoor hydroponic herb garden, the AeroGarden, Pro 100. it's going to look great in this weird dark corner on my kitchen counter. can't wait to start reaping the spoils, which according to the reviews is freakishly fast. pictures forthcoming.

Taking Charge

2008-08-15T22:05:00.000-07:00

after this mornings post i laced up and squeezed in a 3 miler before work. i just have to go bed earlier a kick a few bad haits that i've fallen back into. my last three runs have been on sidewalks and i'm feeling it in the worse way. i need to get on a dirt trail and into a swimming pool stat!

both WILL happen this weekend.

2008-08-15T05:54:00.000-07:00

so the new job still feels very new and i very green but it's a good thing and i'm gradually learning my way around new equipment.

true to form as soon as i take on something new i tend to sacrifice running. with the race only a few weeks away i'm not sure what to expect. i registered for this race long before i knew i would be changing jobs and not that any of it is an excuse anyways i just strugggle with change and don't necessarily perform best under pressure. blah blah blah.

i just want to be a runner. whether it's a low key race or getting 3-4 regular runs a week i just want to be consistent and i am constantly letting myself get off track...eek track....speed work. bleh!

it's so easy to fall off the wagaon. getting back on not so much. i just know i'm not comfortable at all where my current level of fitness is headed. currently i'm at a size "concerned" it's a bit humiliating to be back at this place because while i never achieved a perfect body as i grew more fit running was less about losing weight and more a source of joy and personal achievement.

do i have the courage to pick myself up and dust myself off? weathering the storm(crazy schedule, last minute changes, laziness, ....) and not losing sight of the benefits of regular exercise has been ridiculously hard...why? why? why? i know it's good for me, i like myself better when i'm active. WTF!!!
i just need to make it happen.

strawberry sunday

2008-07-20T11:59:00.000-07:00

so i only got 3 out of 4 runs in this week, but i'm happy to report that 15 out of 18 miles were at strawberry canyon.

my tendency is to lead laterally with my right leg on the downhills and while i could get away with this when i was running more regularly my knee got to griping about it on thursday. some cross friction massage along with motrin seemed to help...and less running which was easiest thing to do given my hectic week on the work front.

i had a couple of interviews this week and am really excited to be finally breaking out of the skilled nursing setting and into the acute rehab arena. early in my career i worked in a an acute setting for about a year and a half but the facility went belly up for various reasons and over time i found more steady work in skilled nursing.

after 10 years i'm ready for a change and this new job is going to challenge me in new and exciting ways. i'm super excited and must confess a little intimidated too. but my "can do" attitude has gotten me this far so it's full steam ahead.

A plan of sorts

2008-07-14T08:04:00.000-07:00

looking for some inspiration to run this morning i found myself at angies reading her zane gray report. i don't have any illusions about ultra running but there is something very contagious about their relationship with nature, body, mind and spirit.

i used my new shoes on pavement for a slow 3 miles around the neighborhood just to keep loose. i want to run no less than 4 days a week with my long runs on sunday and yoga on friday. this is
the beginning of my return to the world of trail running

Fresh Start

2008-07-13T17:58:00.000-07:00

i can't believe how long it took me to finally get my shit together and go for a trail run. it's been at least 5 months since i've run on a proper dirt trail!

i took Brandy with and we headed over to Strawberry Canyon. My garmin wasn't charged and i purposely left my watch at home. with only 9 weeks to go before my 20k i'm still very much in "base building" mode which needless to say isn't where i should be. but it is what it is. PCTR events are as hard as they fun and beautiful. i'll have good time regardless of how under trained i am on race day. still, today up at Strawberry my run assured me that while i'm not at the level of fitness i was this time last year i haven't gone totally to pot.

i shuffled up Big Bertha without much ado but i fatigued as i approached the second climb to the lookout bench and walked until it flattened out. Brandy was her usual curious self and leaped and bounded most of the way up, though her enthusiasm eventually gave way to her lack of fitness and she was lagging behind towards the end. more than once i had to double back and coax her along.

last weekend i went to REI to buy a new pair of Montrails and learned they no longer carry them. My Hurricanes still have some miles left on them, but hey since I'm basically starting trail running all over again I felt justified in getting some new shoes. I went to Transport on Solano. i asked the sales guy to measure my foot and it appears to have shrunk ....and no, it wasn't first thing in the morning when i shopped . it was noon and AFTER my Strawberry run when you'd expect feet to be their most swollen.

so i tell him i usually wear 9 and he says "really, looks here like your a 7.5 - 8" and i say "yeah, but i go up a size for running shoes" and so to appease me he brings out an 8.5 W because not only is my foot short it's now wide...which is news to me. i confess that i'm a pronator and he redirects me from some svelte looking Montrail i'm eyeballing to a more orthopedic looking Brooks which i dismiss immediately in favor the bulkier Montrail Hardrock. 8.5 and it feels good on...in the store...but i've been happy with Montrails thus far so i got them along with a new camelback waist hydration pack.

it was good to hit the trails again, it's been way too long. it does require extra effort to gear up for a trail run and after such a long hiatus i feel like a roookie fumbling with basic logistics and gear issues as i try to get out the door.

what i know about trail running has basically come from just doing it and reading blogs or articles. i've been looking for a book specifically about training for trail races. i half suspect i already know what i need to know. i just wonder if there's a book out there that emphasizes the unique training aspects of trail running.

BOOM!

2008-07-05T09:10:00.000-07:00

this was actually taken at disneyland last month. the display we saw lastnight at the berkeley marina was pretty good too despite smoke and fog that occluded the grand finale. the three of us had a good time gorging ourselves on spinach and potatoe knishes, hot links,corn dogs, curly fries and corn-on-a-stick. totally justified as we parked Really Far Away. my choice of footwear could've been better but i had to wear my cheapo red sneekers to go with the blue and white i had going on and boy are my dogs tired. but i finally feel like i'm catching up on sleep.

as i watched T kicking back on our big blanket before the show he appeared to be the most relaxed i'd seen him in a long time. i think talking on the cell phone less and having fun closer to home has done us both some good this week.

is the universe TRI-ing to tell me something?

2008-06-24T19:58:00.000-07:00

while i was in anaheim last week i noticed several women at disneyland with race markings in their arms and legs. i struck up a conversation with a woman at the pirates of the carribean gift shop and she was participating in her first sprint triathlon put on by Danskin. it was cool chatting with her and i could feel the old excitement kicking in and a little emotion welling up inside me as i said very matter of factly "you are going to have a great day out there."

i ran all of twice while on vacation but i looked for my athelete on the course the next day. the ladies were greeted with perfect weather conditions. a cool cloudy morning without a hint of the heat and humidity that would dominate the rest of the week. as i ran along Harbor blvd. i gave shouts out and words of encouragement to the cyclists and as i got closer to the park i ran along with several runners cheering them on like they were all my best friends.

a few months ago i ran into my old triclub coach Hae Won and she mentioned that the club was going to reunite with alumnae and train for an oly in june. this morning i registered for my 20k at Redwood (Sept 6th). that should leave me plenty of time to get ready. i'm not commiting to the oly event but man did i get worked up and nostalgic when i saw the athletes last sunday. oh i'm so excited to have something to train for again. even M said to me , "yeah mom, i'm glad you signed up for something, you've been so stressed out"

today i receieved an email from Hae Won inviting me to join the upcoming training. when i think about how excited i got last week about the danskin event it's really got me entertaining the idea. i think i'd be over stretching though given how little training i've actually done these past few monthes and the oly is only 2 mos away. i told Hae Won when i saw her that i'd definitely be interested in doing a few workouts with them. between running into Hae Won, the Dankins event and her recent invite i'm starting to suspect the universe might be giving me a nudge to TRI.

My Journey

2008-06-23T16:17:00.000-07:00

Hi...long time no nothing i know. school has been out for a month and i just got back from disneyland. the first thing i did when i got home was check my grades. i got an A in anthropology and a B in Basic Math. i'm pleased with my grades but not so happy about the stress and physical deconditioning that occured as i tried to wrap my brain around fractions and the edward sapir theory. i decided to drop my summer pre-algebra and just focus on a few areas i neglected during the spring. so, i've pulled out the quilting and i'm looking for a nice 20k trail race to train for maybe PCT's Redwood around the end of august, not sure. it's been months since i've stepped foot on a dirt trail.
i'm still not sure what i want to accomplish by going back to school. i do know that i turned out to be a fairly good student. school this time around is more interesting and i can learn math. i just don't know if i can be a good mom, wife and employee simultaneously. people do it all the time but i really don't need to compare myself to them do i? i learned that i like taking classes and so i plan just take ones that appeal to me and keep the stress to a minimum for now.

Home Stretch

2008-05-09T10:45:00.000-07:00

Anthropology is over, we met for the last time last Saturday and i feel confident that i did well, i really enjoyed it though some days the amount of reading and writing competed heavily with time i needed for math. now i just have to do well on my math final....good vibes totally needed:)

i just got back from a decent run. i felt good and strong and it got me in the right space to get cracking with my studies. as sporadic as my running has been I'm still able to run 5 miles with relative ease...slow but enjoyable.

going back to school has been both great and extremely hard. i never really found the balance and i failed to keep up with exercise and healthy habits many times along the way but something positive did come from all those setbacks. I just stopped beating myself up over it. i found myself on several occasions giving myself pep talks and just moving forward. challenging myself academically certainly played on my confidence and math could be compared to ripping off a scab and exposing myself to all sorts of discomfort. but still, I'm stubborn as hell and will get through this even if it kills me...figuratively speaking of course.

It's Getting Better All The Time

2008-03-28T11:09:00.000-07:00

it's been awhile since i've pulled off running clothes soaked from solid effort or felt that distinct burn in my quads and calves. i ran 3 times this week and i am especially proud of the 4 miler i ran AFTER work on wednesday, which by the way is NOT sucking at all. i mentioned previously that i've been running for time as i haven't strapped on the garmin since training last year but i have a few favorite short routes that keep me in the 4 to 5 mile range.

i have serious studying to accomplish. T and M are off for their annual spring trek to Gardernerville, NV this weekend so i'll have uninterrupted hours on end to study. Math is still playing hard to get but i'm hanging in there and slowly but surely the evil bitch is coming around.

so yeah it's been awhile since i've strung 3 runs together in a weeks time ...could Gu and Body Glide be in my near future? T brought the racing bikes inside and their hanging from hooks in the laundry room making it ever so much easier to get up and go for a ride but that usually involves more time than i have these days but maybe if i really bust ass on the studying i could ride on sunday,we'll see.

i am so loving the weather right now, happy spring ya'll!

Back to square one

2008-03-23T11:57:00.000-07:00

seems like i've been in restart mode for awhile now. school work and running on regular basis are a constant challenge. i run for time these days and the last time i ran was about 10 days ago. todays 40 minute run felt pretty good though i got a later start than i would've preferred.

our census in concord had been low and i was asked if i could help out in one of our marin facilities. after 3 days i asked to be considered for a full time position and once i had a talk with my concord manager the wheels were set in motion and i'll be working in san rafael full time after next week. woohoo!

the commute from berkeley is cake and i figure what i shell out in toll is more than made up for in what i save on gas. it's a smaller building and it's lacking in many of the basics but i really like the nursing staff and anyone who works in rehab can appreciate that.

we layed down the kitchen and laudry room flooring two weeks ago and the house still hasn't recovered. we reorganized quite few pieces of cabinetry and moved some other pieces of furniture around. the old couch was taken away and the new one is finished but waiting to be delivered from somewhere in virginia. T thought it would be a good idea to drag out a spare twin mattress in the meantime, personally i think it just exacerbates an already chaotic living space.

it's true what they say about it getting worse before it gets better.

i've been tagged

2008-03-12T19:42:00.000-07:00

consideing what a blabber mouth i can be it's funny even to me that i can scarcely think of 7 things to share about myself
but i'll give it a go...

i'm often perceieved as as pushy and demanding.

ironically, people tell me all the time that i'm too sensitive and that i take things too personally.

i attended 2 grammar schools, 2 middle schools, 3 high schools,
1 allied health professional school, and 5 jr. colleges.

i served a mission in italy during my mormon phase..relatively short phased but enough to completely wreck my twentys.

i love my husband more today than when we were first married.

when i feel nervous or insecure i go for a run or do something active to regain my confidence and works every single time without fail.

i'm funnier in person than i am on my blog.

so there ya go, lame but true. now i need to wade through about a bazillion pages in my anthropology book.

Good Night Moon

2008-03-03T21:51:00.000-08:00

Over the weekend M and I hauled out our bikes and rode for a good hour . i rode to class on Saturday, avoiding hills whenever i could. i got a couple of lights and reflectors today to ride at night but i have to admit preferring to drive while it's still chilly at night. maybe in the summer when it's lighter and warmer.

I supported girl scout cookies sales last week and brought home..hmm...8 boxes on Thursday....
I'm glad i took just 2 classes, it's a manageable load and i'm doing well in both classes so far. i could stagger my math study sessions better, but all in all it's going well.

I think i just need to face a few facts and not keep hoping for things to settle into any consistent routine. i have a few fixed items on my plate but so much else is random and feels out of my control.

i wanted to swim on Sunday, i felt too tired to run or ride after Saturday's little ride to class that had me huffing and puffing..so, i wanted to swim because i needed some thing restorative and when i found everything BUT my swim cap..that's when i decided to go for a bike ride with M...much to her dismay.

Let me just say this about life with a girly girl. yeah it's fun and i love me some pink.but i wish she was a tiny bit more like i was when i was her age...i liked girly stuff and bikes.....Plus, i wish she'd just get with the program already and not find it necessary every single time to protest and whine.

Needless to say it wasn't a really enjoyable ride but we managed to put in a whole hour. after we pumped up her tires we headed over to the bicycle bridge and rode around the fake lake there along highway 80. we rode around the "lake" once and then backtracked home. we rewarded ourselves with? that's right MORE GIRLSCOUT COOKIES. ok so not good in the nutrition dept. but i'll take a few points for the ride and for not losing my shit when she made it so easy to.

ok. im so going to regret staying up so late. but i'ts hard to go to sleep after my night class.

goodnight moon

Live and Learn

2008-02-20T10:41:00.000-08:00

this guy pretty much summed up how i felt following a field trip to the zoo with my anthropology class a couple of weeks ago. we had to observe a number of animals and try to identify signs of culture and communal behaviors. i didn't manage my time well and pretty much had a meltdown by the end of the day.

It's all work

2008-02-02T09:15:00.000-08:00

i have been crazy busy with work, a couple of the surrounding nursing homes have been shut down due to influenza and our caseload has literally tripled in the last week. it's not called work for nothing.

while i wont go so far as to say i'm worried i am starting to get concerned about when the hell i'm going to settle into some kind of routine. school, work and working out it's still not coming together. i rely on T for most of M's shuttling to and fro and with him out of town on business i've been picking up the slack. on wednesday i worked half day and walked the dog for 50 minutes.

i will say to his credit he pushed hard on thursday to make it back from Monterey on time to get her to her dance class in oakland by 4 pm. not having a regular schedule has forced this catch as catch can approach....and it's really not cutting it. you can only wing it for so long.

on the upside. we're eating allot less red meat, mostly chicken and some fish. 2-3 servings of veggies and fruit. water intake pretty much sucks , though i have been enjoying brown rice tea allot. i'm really trying to at least eat better if i'm not exercising as much. only ran once this week but i'm not going to get all wrung out about it. it is what it is.

m and i are attending a nutrition class together next week at kaiser. i've been getting a tad bit too casual about workplace eating, seems like the valentines day candy showed up early and i've been popping a chocolate or two or three in my mouth on a daily basis.

i really shouldn't be here right now

2008-01-27T07:36:00.000-08:00

but because any self respecting procrastinator knows that before you can really dig into the meat of the matter, in my case doing housework AND homework, there's trimming and prepping that must occur first.

looking at the mountain of stuff that has occupied my dining room table for oh uhm, ever.....i'm now thinking that the kitchen island will be my study area. it's the one room that i seem to keep tidy and it's far away enough from the living room that i can concentrate and co-exist with M's marathon viewing's of "Jon and Kate makes 8." lately she's been pulling the "why am i an only child?" card, to which i calmly reply,
"because knowing ones limits is a good thing and kid your it!"

i recently finished reading "Eat, Pray, Love" by elizabeth gilbert...which i thoroughly enjoyed..turns out it was a nice segue for the topic of discussion in yesterday's anthropology class. gilberts travels take her Indonesia, a country i knew literally nothing about before reading her story. in class, we watched and discussed a film on Papua New Guinea. gilbert described the cerominies and customs she observed and much of it was similar to what i saw in yesterdays class. i think it's kinda cool when that happens, seemingly unrelated acts that turn out to compliment eachother. making connections is awesome.

still, as fascinating as it all was in class yesterday. it's a class, and i'm a little more than intimidated at the prospect of writing college essays. i'm not uptight really or even anxious but i'm definitely not in my comfort zone....and that's usually a good sign. it means i'm about to learn something new. learning to swim comes to mind.

if pain is weakness leaving the body than i can reasonably assume that the discomfort i'm feeling now is new knowledge trying to enter my brain, right? i'll keep this in mind during monday night math class.

Stressing Less

2008-01-20T10:03:00.000-08:00

nothing like a little sun and some caffeine to turn your running around. i'm enjoying my coffee ritual once again and i was sooooo happy to see patches of sun on this mornings little 4 miler. oh happy day!!

my dear sweet mia's recent post got me to thinking how we (myself very much included)invite unnecessary drama into our fitness efforts by self imposed pressure to perform, inspire or just plain put a dent into "the goals".

i was telling her how i stopped writing in the blog as i face my own struggles with getting back into some sort of routine and i had to ask myself why? i like coming here and writing about my life not just my running life. i like the challenge of putting into words my take on it all. i write more in a private journal but i also like making connections with other bloggers and well i just don't think you have to be a hard core athlete in training to be here.

i'm really happy with today's efforts, everything felt good and the good bit of stretching afterwards felt great. PLUS the 30 minute walk with Brandy afterwards burned another 161 calories.

no pressure just easy forward motion.

where is the sun?

2008-01-12T09:41:00.000-08:00

i ran outside today and i'm sad to report that it wasn't as enjoyable as the run on the treadmill..gasp...can't quite believe it myself really. it's just this junk lingering in my chest made sucking in the cold air quite unpleasant.

while the rain has let up it's still cold and gray, (normally two conditions i prefer during a run) i miss the sun!! oh well, at least i got out there and worked up a sweat. getting back on track is not without it's aches and pains, the slight soreness in my quads from wednesday's run is a gentle reminder that i will not be picking up where i left of any time soon.

it's not uncommon when your ill to revert back to things that are familiar. you see it allot in the elderly, often times they'll revert back to their native language when there defenses are down and they are on the the mend. i find something similar happening to me. when i first started running. i did the popular walk-run program. i didn't have any of the gadgets or gear i have now. i never took the dog. things were fairly simply: walk a minute run a few more. i did this for several weeks until i was running longer and walking less. pretty much since the race last october i've returned to less structured runs. and since getting sick with the FLU FROM HELL and trying to get back on track, i find that the less "stuff" involved the more likely i'll actually run.

plodding along the BART trail this morning i left the gadgets and the dog behind because i didn't want to know how slow i was going and i really don't have the energy (or patience!) to include Brandy on runs around the neighborhood right now, i'm tired and cranky and just don't want to deal with all her distractions during the run so i just walk her afterwards.

getting out there and doing something is major accomplishment
right now.

1st workout of 2008!

2008-01-09T19:26:00.000-08:00

procrastination is a funny thing. i tend over think the simplest things which inevitably causes more delays so instead of trying to figure out the best way to get back on track with running i snuck up on it by putting yoga on the front burner.

it's normally a 90 minute class. i parked several blocks away in a 2 hour space for free then walked to the gym ARMED WITH MY OWN YOGA MAT, AS I'VE BECOME A GERM PHOBIC. i did restorative yoga for 45 minutes then hit the treadmill for 30 minutes. it felt so good to be running again, even at a 13 minute pace. with SNOW PATROL blasting in my ipod it was the best goddamn treadmill run i've had in a long time. woohoo!

so tonight i met with my school counselor and i'll be taking bone head math and anthropology 3. it's only 6 of the recommended 12 units they suggest in order to obtain your AA in 5 semesters, but i know me and math and it's going to require extra effort so justifiably i will NOT be adding sociology, history and english to the mix. once the math courses are behind me i can carry a heavier load. my math class is 7-10 pm on mondays (ugh) and the anthropology class is 8-5 pm on saturdays, luckily we only have 6 clasess.

i was watching a very interesting program on public television about the brain and it's plasticity. it was encouraging to hear that you can teach an old dog new tricks.

Mooooooo

2008-01-07T15:25:00.000-08:00

i finally got back to work today however i have yet to get back to working out. i am seriously deconditioned!

not even near perfect running conditions, chilliscious air with the sun peeking through big puffy white clouds is doing much to coax me outside today.

i miss drinking coffee and i think it may have something do with the demise of my exercise mojo...that and the fact that i've turned into a lazy cow.

Patience

2008-01-02T17:41:00.000-08:00

i'm SICK of being sick!

i went for a short walk around the neighborhood, brandy and M really needed to get out in the worse way too. changing the sheets is enough to cause me to break a sweat. i'm generally a very healthy person. i get run down for a day or two and then it's over but i'm beginning to feel like this flu from hell is never going to end. i make a very bad patient. i'm starting to pick at solid food now but everything tastes like ass.

i informed work i'd not be returning until next monday. another colleague is out as well and while i feel bad that my boss can't take a couple of days off as she planned i'm in no shape to work with sick people. the queen's got to step up when the worker bee's are falling to the way side.

it's not like i can hide in some cubicle behind a desk, it's hard to keep a safe distance when your hauling sick patients out of bed, getting them to perform their own self care. half the case load from a week ago was admitted the acute hospital.

i'd like to get out for another walk tomorrow before the weather kicks in, preferably somewhere forested. the fumes from the neighboring refinery were so bad today which was why the walk earlier was so brief. my car was in concord getting it's windshield replaced, but it's back now so i'll try to get to Tilden tomorrow before it rains. i actually have grown to like hiking and running in the rain but it doesn't seem like the wise thing to do just now.

On the mend

2007-12-31T15:28:00.000-08:00

when deciding to write this final post for 2007 i knew i had my work cut out for me. i methodically went over all the crappy things that happened and really didn't see the point in this post at all. getting ripped off during what turned out to be a very stress filled vacation, aging family members and the onset of pre-teen angst. 2007 was literally a string of unfortunate and unruly events.

it was looking through my archives that things started to turn around.

Running Life

2007 was filled with lot's of firsts. my first 20k, my first half-marathon and my first full trail marathon.
when i decided to do a trail marathon, once i found the right one i was rewarded with some of the finest trail running terrain i'd ever encountered. discovering east bay regional trail system was by far a highlight in 2007 and while my actual race performance fell far from what i had hoped i had an amazing day.

Family Life

we lost our beloved matriarch, Grandma Tillie in March and then Papa Taylor 10 days before Christmas. My daughter M was closest to Papa and was quite literally a pillar of strength when it came to helping her younger cousins grieve. her capacity to comfort and nurture is amazing.

Personal Life

training for a marathon gave me lots of "me time" i feel truly grateful to my family for this.
i'd been thinking about returning to school for some time but it wasn't until after my marathon that i actually committed to it.
i registered for classes at berkeley community college. i start next month. i strongly suspect that there will be days when my brain will refuse to compute one more mathematical operation or i'll tremble at the prospect of yet another draft for some benign paper due, but knowing that i covered 26.2 miles of hilly ass terrain one Fall day not long ago will give me the steam i need to forge ahead.
my mantra will be: Relentless Forward Motion

i'm glad i took the time to reflect, looking back i have a less grim view of things. it seems i've been functioning in crisis mode for far too long. i have allot to be thankful for, possessions in the end are just things, Grandma Tillie and Papa left us the tools to build on a strong foundation. My daughter has her grandmas flair and her papas kindness.

so that's about it. we'll be ringing in the new year quietly on the mend at home, sipping ginger ale, hot tea and no doubt crashing long before midnight.

Happy New Year!

Flu-ey

2007-12-28T11:50:00.000-08:00

i'm sooooooo sick right now. my head and chest feel like they're in a vice. a hot shower offered temporary relief but it's going to be a rough next few days. can i just tell you how old "rough days" are getting? M is a good nurturer, bringing me tea and water. i usually get a flu shot but this year i just never got around to it.

christmas eve was spent with T's family. we had a quiet meal with my mom here christmas day. M was happy and that made us happy.

2007 was a bumpy ride. I'll need to take a more thoughtful look back on things once my heads stops pounding. i just wanted to say Happy New Year to my blogger friends and wish you all the very best in 2008.