So, the amazing hip rocked his first tri. a great read as my 1st sprint is coming up. our practice tri was significantly more challenging then our upcoming event. this has me feeling strangely NOT nervous as saturday approaches. not to say i am w/o a few concerns. shifting gears is an on-going issue for me ...in all sectors.
in my usual manner i am a pile of contradiction. i don't particulary enjoy training with a group but i was disappointed when a fellow triclubber had to cancel (again) our practice swim at lake anza. prior to her cancelling i imagined some plotting and scheming as we worked on our open water swim together and perhaps considered another tri later in the season....weird, huh? then T needed a ride and later i ended up taking my mom-in-law to a doctors appointment. lake anza and thoughts of tri faded into the background.
just saw a glimpse of T this morning as M and I were heading off to school and he was coming home to change clothes after staying over with his dad lastnight. it's chilly outside with the possibility of showers later in the day and i should try to get a swim and ride in beforehand. my quads are sore from sundays run, yesterday was a restday. so nothing too hard today just keeping the engine primed for sat.
i've discovered that i can get more done with a busy schedule, though i'm not usually happy about it. for me as long as it's a short term crunch i can can manage but not so much when there's no end in site. i'm definitey NOT the type A personality that seems to gravitate towards this sport. i'm more like a B-, an impatient B-. see i'm a pile of contradictions.
i was moaning about how uncomfortable i am with uncertainty the other day. as if it's some solid fixture in my day to day world. the truth is nothing is for certain. life is full of surprises. why am letting this stuff with my in-laws suck the fun out of training and my upcoming event? I've worked hard for this but i'm not as excited anymore. I never considered not participating on saturday after poop hit the fan with the family, but i volunteered to carpool just in case, funny how i needed to do that to ensure that i wouldn't succumb to any excuses.
T spent sunday getting the yakima bike rack rigged up and there's no way i'm not showing up!!
addendum:
I arrived at strawberry pool too late or too early depending on how you look at it. like the library i'm discovering public pools have goofy hours. so on a whim i treked up to lake anza for a solo open water swim...or so i thought. not keeping in mind this is the last week of school and most of them organize a lake anza field trip during this time. I was accompanied by at least 150 grade schoolers..........as i entered the beach one little boy was a bit too excited about the prospect of girls in bikinis and thongs!!
holy mary and joseph was it cold! much more so than the last time i was there. i tentatively waded up to my hips and just stood there for a minute. inhaling deeply i dove in and swam out to the lap area well away from the frolic. 4 laps (3 breast and 1 backstoke) and i was out of there. i tried freestyle but it was too choppy for me. i put in maybe a total of 200 yards. i walked quickly back to my car and headed back over to strawberry where the pool re-opened at noon. the pool felt like bath water in comparison and i swam another 30 minutes alternating between drills and real swimming. nothing especially grueling. i then hit the workout room for an even briefer ride on the stationary bike, i was at around 13 minutes when the phone rang, ok, brick officially over.
i have a headache and i'm hungry. i need a nap too!
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Sunday, June 11, 2006
My Mountain
This morning for the first time in days I awoke rested and wanting to run. With thoughts of Strawberry Canyon rolling around my mind I wondered if I was up to the task of my beloved mountain. Fueled only by 2 cups of Peet's Sumatra I headed out to get an early start. Brandy sensing something was up trailed me all through the house and was ready to go too.
When we got to the trail head a sign was posted that there had been a mountain lion siting in mid May. I briefly considered my other options but decided to take my chances. Interestingly my desire to run outweighed any fear. I was acutely aware of every sound and sight.
A younger woman was passing me on the left, we met up at the foot of Big Bertha. She paused briefly and when I got to the base of BB she started to run again. At the top she inserted her headphones and I wondered if she had noticed the mountain lion posting. She was maybe 50 yds. ahead of me and I thought I should ask her if she had noticed the posting. I whistled to get her attention but she either didn't hear or think it was directed to her. I don't know if I was being paranoid or maternal, but it seemed like someone ought to warn her. Anyhoo, she was fast and when I caught up with her she had turned around after only a mile or so and I felt oddly better that this girl wasn't running further up the canyon w/o being able to hear. One time Brandy and I were up there and I heard a big cat from a distance and we just turned around. While hearing a cat up close wouldn't prevent me from being breakfast at least I'd have half a chance hearing it from a distance.
Further up I noticed bunches of animal fur on the side of the trail, no blood or guts just big wads of yellow and grey fur. A bit further I noticed a ripped green polo shirt off to the same side, again no blood or guts. The higher we climbed the denser the fog grew adding to the eeriness of the scene.
Maybe I was aided abit by the adrenaline but I shaved off 5 minutes from the last time I ran this trail about 2 months ago!! 6.5 miles in 75 minutes 45 up 30 down. I suppose the cross training hasn't hurt either.
So, the Element is officially broken in, Brandy got it nice and muddy. I felt sooooo good after this run, even a little choked up on the ride home. I am truly my best on the trails. I'd almost forgotten how much I love trails having spent so much time on the swimming and biking.
I'm pretty sure the next event I sign up for will be the Angel Island 12K in August.
When we got to the trail head a sign was posted that there had been a mountain lion siting in mid May. I briefly considered my other options but decided to take my chances. Interestingly my desire to run outweighed any fear. I was acutely aware of every sound and sight.
A younger woman was passing me on the left, we met up at the foot of Big Bertha. She paused briefly and when I got to the base of BB she started to run again. At the top she inserted her headphones and I wondered if she had noticed the mountain lion posting. She was maybe 50 yds. ahead of me and I thought I should ask her if she had noticed the posting. I whistled to get her attention but she either didn't hear or think it was directed to her. I don't know if I was being paranoid or maternal, but it seemed like someone ought to warn her. Anyhoo, she was fast and when I caught up with her she had turned around after only a mile or so and I felt oddly better that this girl wasn't running further up the canyon w/o being able to hear. One time Brandy and I were up there and I heard a big cat from a distance and we just turned around. While hearing a cat up close wouldn't prevent me from being breakfast at least I'd have half a chance hearing it from a distance.
Further up I noticed bunches of animal fur on the side of the trail, no blood or guts just big wads of yellow and grey fur. A bit further I noticed a ripped green polo shirt off to the same side, again no blood or guts. The higher we climbed the denser the fog grew adding to the eeriness of the scene.
Maybe I was aided abit by the adrenaline but I shaved off 5 minutes from the last time I ran this trail about 2 months ago!! 6.5 miles in 75 minutes 45 up 30 down. I suppose the cross training hasn't hurt either.
So, the Element is officially broken in, Brandy got it nice and muddy. I felt sooooo good after this run, even a little choked up on the ride home. I am truly my best on the trails. I'd almost forgotten how much I love trails having spent so much time on the swimming and biking.
I'm pretty sure the next event I sign up for will be the Angel Island 12K in August.
Friday, June 09, 2006
Bored
Can you tell I'm bored with Bloggers template choices?
The census at work is low and I had the option to work or not...I chose the later. I should run but don't feel like it. I know it would make me feel better but still I can't get going. I didn't feel like running Tuesday either but I did. Wednesday I swam. Lastnight I worked HARD on the bike in the Piedmont Hills Area. This morning M and I walked part way to school and afterwards Brandy and I went to Ceasar Chavez for a little bit. It's been too long since we've done that and she was a happy dog. I guess it's okay to chill out today and clean up this place. Sheesh what a mess!!! My home feels more like a transition area than the calming santuary I'd like it to be. Is that realistic or just some bullshit phrase put out there to make me feel guilty about my lack of house pride??
The census at work is low and I had the option to work or not...I chose the later. I should run but don't feel like it. I know it would make me feel better but still I can't get going. I didn't feel like running Tuesday either but I did. Wednesday I swam. Lastnight I worked HARD on the bike in the Piedmont Hills Area. This morning M and I walked part way to school and afterwards Brandy and I went to Ceasar Chavez for a little bit. It's been too long since we've done that and she was a happy dog. I guess it's okay to chill out today and clean up this place. Sheesh what a mess!!! My home feels more like a transition area than the calming santuary I'd like it to be. Is that realistic or just some bullshit phrase put out there to make me feel guilty about my lack of house pride??
Monday, June 05, 2006
The Multisport called Life
I've been reading alot rookie/newbie reports and posts lately and it seems like alot folks before they've even completed their first tri are signed up for several already. One woman, after a rough first tri, (the wetsuit was ill fitting and I guess she never practiced in it prior to her event and it nearly drowned her) this one woman proclaimed loudly that she would purchase a top of the line wetsuit and a killer bike before the next one. Her next effort reported a much better swim but upon exiting the water ( note: running around barnacles is not good) she sliced her foot open and instead of rendering proper aide she jammed her foot into her shoes and struggled with each revolution on the bike and well the run just wasn't to be. This same trinewbie goes on to vow that she will become an IRONMAN. Well I'll hand it to her she's got spunk.
I on the other hand am questioning my tri future. I recently came to terms with my "place " in this upcoming race and I feel good and though I'm not as strong a swimmer as I'd like to be I feel pretty good about my progress. The practice tri was a great chance to work out the details and to highlight strengths as well as things to work on. I was excited afterwards and I had fun during the effort but I'm not so sure I've been "bitten" by the tri bug.
Yesterday morning and early afternoon were gobbled up by appointments and errands. M and I got to the pool around 4 pm and I swam laps for over an hour (lots of rest breaks of course). We hustled out of there around 5:30 to have dinner with T before he headed over to Concord to stay with his dad. My mom-in-law was admitted to the hospital last thursday for another stroke and it seems to have affected her differently than the last time . She was transferred to where I work lastnight for rehabilitation like the time before.
The thing is, since her last stroke T and his two other siblings haven't really figured out what to do. Like most families they sort've hoped that things would return to normal and opted to wait it out rather than make any major changes. My mom-in-law did get better, but not so much better that she should resume her role as caregiver to my father-in-law who is in the mid stages of Alzheimer's disease. My mom-law (K) is a fighter though and despite the deficits remained fiercly independent, though she really could use help. My sis-in-law had to cancel in home support because K didn't want a stranger in the house, in the meantime T and and his siblings have been juggling their schedules to take them to appointments and whatnot. It was quite stressful to say the least.
So, now were in the same place again and we spouses (I was on the phone the other day with my bro-in-law and boy did he need to vent!!) are more than a little bit concerned that the hard decisions haven't been made yet and the bulk/burden of care is once again on our partners. It's such an overwhelming thing caring for aging parents and dealing with all the finances and medical decisions no doubt. As a healthcare professional I understand that my husband and his siblings had to go through some degree of denial before they could move forward but as a wife not so much, guh!!!
Maybe this has something to do with my lack of enthusiam about a summer filled with triaspirations. The balance has definaitely been upset around here and the need to train for events feels abit selfish in the midst of everything. I'm not slacking off per say but I'm definitely not as focused. The unknown is always so uncomfortable and I feel just awful for feeling this way, but theres no telling what's going to happen with my in-laws and no point of planning trips, or events or anything that's going to require T's assistance because his plate is so full already.
I've been on the fence about future tris all along, I know that. The main objective has in fact already been achieved. I wanted to learn to swim, so in that respect it has been a huge success already. Just not sure what lies ahead for us as we try to figure all this out. Did I mention how uncomfortable I am with uncertainty?
Hell, right now my life IS a Multisport!!
I on the other hand am questioning my tri future. I recently came to terms with my "place " in this upcoming race and I feel good and though I'm not as strong a swimmer as I'd like to be I feel pretty good about my progress. The practice tri was a great chance to work out the details and to highlight strengths as well as things to work on. I was excited afterwards and I had fun during the effort but I'm not so sure I've been "bitten" by the tri bug.
Yesterday morning and early afternoon were gobbled up by appointments and errands. M and I got to the pool around 4 pm and I swam laps for over an hour (lots of rest breaks of course). We hustled out of there around 5:30 to have dinner with T before he headed over to Concord to stay with his dad. My mom-in-law was admitted to the hospital last thursday for another stroke and it seems to have affected her differently than the last time . She was transferred to where I work lastnight for rehabilitation like the time before.
The thing is, since her last stroke T and his two other siblings haven't really figured out what to do. Like most families they sort've hoped that things would return to normal and opted to wait it out rather than make any major changes. My mom-in-law did get better, but not so much better that she should resume her role as caregiver to my father-in-law who is in the mid stages of Alzheimer's disease. My mom-law (K) is a fighter though and despite the deficits remained fiercly independent, though she really could use help. My sis-in-law had to cancel in home support because K didn't want a stranger in the house, in the meantime T and and his siblings have been juggling their schedules to take them to appointments and whatnot. It was quite stressful to say the least.
So, now were in the same place again and we spouses (I was on the phone the other day with my bro-in-law and boy did he need to vent!!) are more than a little bit concerned that the hard decisions haven't been made yet and the bulk/burden of care is once again on our partners. It's such an overwhelming thing caring for aging parents and dealing with all the finances and medical decisions no doubt. As a healthcare professional I understand that my husband and his siblings had to go through some degree of denial before they could move forward but as a wife not so much, guh!!!
Maybe this has something to do with my lack of enthusiam about a summer filled with triaspirations. The balance has definaitely been upset around here and the need to train for events feels abit selfish in the midst of everything. I'm not slacking off per say but I'm definitely not as focused. The unknown is always so uncomfortable and I feel just awful for feeling this way, but theres no telling what's going to happen with my in-laws and no point of planning trips, or events or anything that's going to require T's assistance because his plate is so full already.
I've been on the fence about future tris all along, I know that. The main objective has in fact already been achieved. I wanted to learn to swim, so in that respect it has been a huge success already. Just not sure what lies ahead for us as we try to figure all this out. Did I mention how uncomfortable I am with uncertainty?
Hell, right now my life IS a Multisport!!
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Practice Tri Report
As I pulled into the park, the bestest song came on the radio. Peter Gabriels "swimmin" I took it as a good omen and it definitely settled my nerves. I arrived early to test the waters. Hopped the fence and splashed around abit. The water temp was totally comfortable as was the new swim top. I quickly returned the transition area to set up and the group started to file in. The weather was beautiful.
First the swim. I apparently have no ability to freestyle in the lake. I alternated between breast and backstroke the majority of the time with occasional attempt at freestyle. The breathing was still an issue despite the warmer water. I just gotta get in the lake more. I think I swam too fast initially tiring myself out with the breaststroke which made it harder to settle into the more technical freestyle. Dread and Fear were not the blame this time, but my overenthusiasm tripped me up. To my surprise Lake Anza wasn't so bad. I actually preferred it over Shadow Cliff. I was last out of the water but I had a smile on my face. Running towards the transition I peeled off my swim top, goggles and cap. T and Nancy cheering me on felt good.
Next the bike. T1 went almost perfect except I forgot to put on my race belt. I hopped on and before too long spotted a few riders. The exit from the park to Grizzly Peak was brutal. I had trouble shifting and where the hell was my granny gear???? I humped that freakin hill until I couldn't anymore then walked the last 50 yards? to the top. Not much later things got worse. Oh yeah I had a flat!!! Thank goodness Cheryl who was our sweeper was trailing behind and between she, me and another good samaritan we changed the tire and I was off again. The last thing I heard Cheryl say "you can catch up Chris cuz your fast" We had two options. One was to turn around at Inspiration Point(IP) or to continue past IP down another 1/2 a mile and turn around at Toyon??? I caught up with one rider who was tuning around at IP and I kept going . Down Down Down........where the hell is the turnaround??? They told us this was tricky turn and hard to see. At this point I was closing in on 2 hours and made an executive decision to add a 3rd option and I turned around. Up Up Up more freakin hills, I found granny purely on trial and error and for awhile was able to pick things up. The hill leading you out of the park was a bitch and again granny gave me the slip. But I got my butt off the saddle and stood up to pedal and did not walk. Winding down Grizzly Peak back to the transition area, a few more hills to contend with and then rolling into T2. I was peeling off my helmut and bike shoes and donning my running shoes, cap and race belt.
The run. This is where I made up for things folks. I was not fast but I was strong and steady and I never walked . I was sure to high five and shout out positive words as I went toward Little Farm. On the turn around I got a bit more serious, less talkative and just tried to hold on to my pace. I passed a few more people and was grinning from ear to ear. I hate to admit it but it felt damn good not to be last. I was whipped but I felt really good at the same time.
So the real deal in just two weeks. The course today was so much harder than what we'll be facing in Pleasonton.
I'm pleased with my swim effort. I know it will improve over the summer. It may not get much better before the race but I've proven to myself that I can swim 1/4 mile and have enough gas to finish my race. The flat tire was stressful and for a few minutes I got panicky while trying to catch up but it's got me thinking how many more people would I have passed if that hadn't happened. The run was solid. I forgot to get an actual time but I know I was well under 3 hours. Overall I'm pleased with todays performance. What I lacked in technical skill I made up for in physical strength. Sprint level tri's are good match for me. This was such a helpful way to train. I couldn't imagine going into the real deal without this kind of preparatiion. What a rush!!
Addendum
one participant wasn't able to complete the swim.
average elevation 2000 ft
First the swim. I apparently have no ability to freestyle in the lake. I alternated between breast and backstroke the majority of the time with occasional attempt at freestyle. The breathing was still an issue despite the warmer water. I just gotta get in the lake more. I think I swam too fast initially tiring myself out with the breaststroke which made it harder to settle into the more technical freestyle. Dread and Fear were not the blame this time, but my overenthusiasm tripped me up. To my surprise Lake Anza wasn't so bad. I actually preferred it over Shadow Cliff. I was last out of the water but I had a smile on my face. Running towards the transition I peeled off my swim top, goggles and cap. T and Nancy cheering me on felt good.
Next the bike. T1 went almost perfect except I forgot to put on my race belt. I hopped on and before too long spotted a few riders. The exit from the park to Grizzly Peak was brutal. I had trouble shifting and where the hell was my granny gear???? I humped that freakin hill until I couldn't anymore then walked the last 50 yards? to the top. Not much later things got worse. Oh yeah I had a flat!!! Thank goodness Cheryl who was our sweeper was trailing behind and between she, me and another good samaritan we changed the tire and I was off again. The last thing I heard Cheryl say "you can catch up Chris cuz your fast" We had two options. One was to turn around at Inspiration Point(IP) or to continue past IP down another 1/2 a mile and turn around at Toyon??? I caught up with one rider who was tuning around at IP and I kept going . Down Down Down........where the hell is the turnaround??? They told us this was tricky turn and hard to see. At this point I was closing in on 2 hours and made an executive decision to add a 3rd option and I turned around. Up Up Up more freakin hills, I found granny purely on trial and error and for awhile was able to pick things up. The hill leading you out of the park was a bitch and again granny gave me the slip. But I got my butt off the saddle and stood up to pedal and did not walk. Winding down Grizzly Peak back to the transition area, a few more hills to contend with and then rolling into T2. I was peeling off my helmut and bike shoes and donning my running shoes, cap and race belt.
The run. This is where I made up for things folks. I was not fast but I was strong and steady and I never walked . I was sure to high five and shout out positive words as I went toward Little Farm. On the turn around I got a bit more serious, less talkative and just tried to hold on to my pace. I passed a few more people and was grinning from ear to ear. I hate to admit it but it felt damn good not to be last. I was whipped but I felt really good at the same time.
So the real deal in just two weeks. The course today was so much harder than what we'll be facing in Pleasonton.
I'm pleased with my swim effort. I know it will improve over the summer. It may not get much better before the race but I've proven to myself that I can swim 1/4 mile and have enough gas to finish my race. The flat tire was stressful and for a few minutes I got panicky while trying to catch up but it's got me thinking how many more people would I have passed if that hadn't happened. The run was solid. I forgot to get an actual time but I know I was well under 3 hours. Overall I'm pleased with todays performance. What I lacked in technical skill I made up for in physical strength. Sprint level tri's are good match for me. This was such a helpful way to train. I couldn't imagine going into the real deal without this kind of preparatiion. What a rush!!
Addendum
one participant wasn't able to complete the swim.
average elevation 2000 ft
Thursday, June 01, 2006
The Devil is in the Details
I knew I wanted to run but wasn't sure where. So I just improvised and let my feet do the guiding. I skipped the flat BART trail and headed up Marin to the Alameda then over to the King track for one mile and then towards home. Total time 40 mins. Earlier I had my swim bag and clothes for work already packed so when I got back from the run all I had to do was jump in my car and head over to the pool in near work. To my surprise that nifty 1 month swim card I purchased the second week in May expired today ( I thought it would rollover to 1 week into the next month) but the gal behind the desk let it slide and I proceeded to bang out 9 laps in the 50 yd lane in about a half an hour. I really needed to buckle down and try to cover 1/4 mile with as little stopping as possible. This has me thinking I might pull off the swim in 30 minutes! Shit I'll take it!!
I rested in between laps 10-15-20-bleh seconds and I did everything from backstroke, breaststroke and freestyle. I started out with breast and than halfway would switch to free or rollover on my back. My main objective was to get 9 laps done anyway I could. Oddly enough the last 2 laps were all freestyle and I didn't have to switch to breast or rollover. I really like this pool but today I felt so rushed. I wanted to stay longer and I think that's a good sign. Come June 18th the 25 yd. lanes are open until 4pm. I was also charged a $10.00 non-resident fee for the swim card. I really need to be more cunning, I should've had cash on hand and not a check with my real address on it!! Still it's a really nice pool and it's close to the job.
The race mgt. meeting lastnight was good. We reviewed the practice tri logistics and swapped transition tips. The general concensus being: bike gloves are not a necessity however socks are. Some people got killer deals on tri gear at the Sports Basement over Memorial Day weekend. I found a decent training swim suit at the outlet in the Cannery for $15.00. Today I bought a Aqua Sphere swim top to wear over my trisuit. It's got neoprene on the front and back to keep the core warm, while the arms and shoulders are some other kind of fabric for freer movement. At least it will keep me a little warmer and be easier to remove then a wetsuit. Plus it does make me look and feel kinda cool and that's priceless!
Tomorrow is a rest day and I will no doubt spend friday night on the floor in my living room going over my list and pack and repack my red duffle bag.
swim cap
goggles
i'll be wearing my trisuit and swim top
helmut
bike shoes
socks
water bottle/camelbak
racing belt - does this go on at T1 or T2???????
running shoes
This is gonna be fun!
Oh yeah, today I also bought a pair of size 8 pants!! No drawstrings or elastic. Woohoo!!!
I rested in between laps 10-15-20-bleh seconds and I did everything from backstroke, breaststroke and freestyle. I started out with breast and than halfway would switch to free or rollover on my back. My main objective was to get 9 laps done anyway I could. Oddly enough the last 2 laps were all freestyle and I didn't have to switch to breast or rollover. I really like this pool but today I felt so rushed. I wanted to stay longer and I think that's a good sign. Come June 18th the 25 yd. lanes are open until 4pm. I was also charged a $10.00 non-resident fee for the swim card. I really need to be more cunning, I should've had cash on hand and not a check with my real address on it!! Still it's a really nice pool and it's close to the job.
The race mgt. meeting lastnight was good. We reviewed the practice tri logistics and swapped transition tips. The general concensus being: bike gloves are not a necessity however socks are. Some people got killer deals on tri gear at the Sports Basement over Memorial Day weekend. I found a decent training swim suit at the outlet in the Cannery for $15.00. Today I bought a Aqua Sphere swim top to wear over my trisuit. It's got neoprene on the front and back to keep the core warm, while the arms and shoulders are some other kind of fabric for freer movement. At least it will keep me a little warmer and be easier to remove then a wetsuit. Plus it does make me look and feel kinda cool and that's priceless!
Tomorrow is a rest day and I will no doubt spend friday night on the floor in my living room going over my list and pack and repack my red duffle bag.
swim cap
goggles
i'll be wearing my trisuit and swim top
helmut
bike shoes
socks
water bottle/camelbak
racing belt - does this go on at T1 or T2???????
running shoes
This is gonna be fun!
Oh yeah, today I also bought a pair of size 8 pants!! No drawstrings or elastic. Woohoo!!!
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
A Better Day
I got back to yoga today then followed it up with a 40 minute swim 14 laps 2 of which were 50 yds nonstop....woohoo...that's good for me. Then I grocery shopped and afterwards rode the bike in the surrounding hilly neighborhood.........a decent workout overall. I read some blogs earlier and this guy called the Kahuna has had his share of pain as of late. Nevertheless, his attitude is awesome. His recent podcast and latest post totally got my recent attitude out of the crapper. I've been driving myself nuts (and apparently a few others) over some stupid shit, namely what other people will think and essentially letting those opinions really fuck with my head. It occured to me while shopping this morning that I do what I do because it feels great. It's not about being first or looking cool or even making friends. It never has been. At the risk of sounding completely self absorbed it's always been about how great being active makes me feel. Of course when I feel good my family and friends benefit too so obviously it's not only about me but it definitely starts with me.
It seems that ever since I started this tri journey I've exposed some really raw and unpleasant truths about myself. It's painful and I've questioned my sanity on more than one occasion. I know were all subject to mood swings and bouts of low confidence I'm no stranger to either , but putting myself out there has pushed me over to the darkside more than I care to admit.
I'm realizing more than ever the real key to staying fit isn't limited to the number of laps or miles covered but the in the manner in which one covers them. My progress hasn't always been smooth and at times it's downright painful to watch. I've been less than graceful or patient with the pocess and I know this has cost me some ground, but hey I'm still going forward I'm still grateful for every day I can swim, bike and run. I'm grateful for the whatever it is that drives me and grateful for sense to know when I'm being ridiculous. This blog is a great tool, it allows me to vent and ponder. It allows me to express my fears , even if there lame and all in my head. It allows me to shout out and give thanks. It allows me to be me.......... all forms of me............. the good the bad and the ugly.
I'm so glad to be here in this place at this time. I have much to learn and I know that there is a place for me among the world of triathalon. I know someday I'll look back on these humble beginnings and laugh, but in the meantime try not to take myself so seriously..........the serious me isn't much fun to be around.
In many many ways I am a late bloomer and alot of of what I'm experiencing probably should've taken place earlier in my life. But you see, I always played it safe, stuck with the tried and true. I've managed quite skillfully to skirt around the hard stuff and have been content with just getting by. Sure I've had to work hard and my life has had it's share of hard times, but given a choice I tend to gravitate towards the easier path, though signing up for a sprint triathalon in order to learn how to swim might contradict this statement!!
This triathalon is important to me. I never thought in a million years that I would attempt something like this, and so what if it's a only sprint.....that's the beauty of it, a sprint makes it possible for someone like me to even try. The effort, tears, pain and joy are just as real for me as it is for any Ironman. I have to manage my life, my family, my job and myself with as much intention and care. And yes I struggle and it is hard and I bitch and moan. But this thing I'm attempting to do is a big deal for me and at times seems so unobtainable and that's when I get self conscious and give into the worry and doubt. Today I felt so strong in the pool and on the bike. Today I felt like the real me.
It seems that ever since I started this tri journey I've exposed some really raw and unpleasant truths about myself. It's painful and I've questioned my sanity on more than one occasion. I know were all subject to mood swings and bouts of low confidence I'm no stranger to either , but putting myself out there has pushed me over to the darkside more than I care to admit.
I'm realizing more than ever the real key to staying fit isn't limited to the number of laps or miles covered but the in the manner in which one covers them. My progress hasn't always been smooth and at times it's downright painful to watch. I've been less than graceful or patient with the pocess and I know this has cost me some ground, but hey I'm still going forward I'm still grateful for every day I can swim, bike and run. I'm grateful for the whatever it is that drives me and grateful for sense to know when I'm being ridiculous. This blog is a great tool, it allows me to vent and ponder. It allows me to express my fears , even if there lame and all in my head. It allows me to shout out and give thanks. It allows me to be me.......... all forms of me............. the good the bad and the ugly.
I'm so glad to be here in this place at this time. I have much to learn and I know that there is a place for me among the world of triathalon. I know someday I'll look back on these humble beginnings and laugh, but in the meantime try not to take myself so seriously..........the serious me isn't much fun to be around.
In many many ways I am a late bloomer and alot of of what I'm experiencing probably should've taken place earlier in my life. But you see, I always played it safe, stuck with the tried and true. I've managed quite skillfully to skirt around the hard stuff and have been content with just getting by. Sure I've had to work hard and my life has had it's share of hard times, but given a choice I tend to gravitate towards the easier path, though signing up for a sprint triathalon in order to learn how to swim might contradict this statement!!
This triathalon is important to me. I never thought in a million years that I would attempt something like this, and so what if it's a only sprint.....that's the beauty of it, a sprint makes it possible for someone like me to even try. The effort, tears, pain and joy are just as real for me as it is for any Ironman. I have to manage my life, my family, my job and myself with as much intention and care. And yes I struggle and it is hard and I bitch and moan. But this thing I'm attempting to do is a big deal for me and at times seems so unobtainable and that's when I get self conscious and give into the worry and doubt. Today I felt so strong in the pool and on the bike. Today I felt like the real me.
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