where is the sun?

i ran outside today and i'm sad to report that it wasn't as enjoyable as the run on the treadmill..gasp...can't quite believe it myself really. it's just this junk lingering in my chest made sucking in the cold air quite unpleasant.

while the rain has let up it's still cold and gray, (normally two conditions i prefer during a run) i miss the sun!! oh well, at least i got out there and worked up a sweat. getting back on track is not without it's aches and pains, the slight soreness in my quads from wednesday's run is a gentle reminder that i will not be picking up where i left of any time soon.

it's not uncommon when your ill to revert back to things that are familiar. you see it allot in the elderly, often times they'll revert back to their native language when there defenses are down and they are on the the mend. i find something similar happening to me. when i first started running. i did the popular walk-run program. i didn't have any of the gadgets or gear i have now. i never took the dog. things were fairly simply: walk a minute run a few more. i did this for several weeks until i was running longer and walking less. pretty much since the race last october i've returned to less structured runs. and since getting sick with the FLU FROM HELL and trying to get back on track, i find that the less "stuff" involved the more likely i'll actually run.

plodding along the BART trail this morning i left the gadgets and the dog behind because i didn't want to know how slow i was going and i really don't have the energy (or patience!) to include Brandy on runs around the neighborhood right now, i'm tired and cranky and just don't want to deal with all her distractions during the run so i just walk her afterwards.

getting out there and doing something is major accomplishment
right now.

1st workout of 2008!

procrastination is a funny thing. i tend over think the simplest things which inevitably causes more delays so instead of trying to figure out the best way to get back on track with running i snuck up on it by putting yoga on the front burner.

it's normally a 90 minute class. i parked several blocks away in a 2 hour space for free then walked to the gym ARMED WITH MY OWN YOGA MAT, AS I'VE BECOME A GERM PHOBIC. i did restorative yoga for 45 minutes then hit the treadmill for 30 minutes. it felt so good to be running again, even at a 13 minute pace. with SNOW PATROL blasting in my ipod it was the best goddamn treadmill run i've had in a long time. woohoo!

so tonight i met with my school counselor and i'll be taking bone head math and anthropology 3. it's only 6 of the recommended 12 units they suggest in order to obtain your AA in 5 semesters, but i know me and math and it's going to require extra effort so justifiably i will NOT be adding sociology, history and english to the mix. once the math courses are behind me i can carry a heavier load. my math class is 7-10 pm on mondays (ugh) and the anthropology class is 8-5 pm on saturdays, luckily we only have 6 clasess.

i was watching a very interesting program on public television about the brain and it's plasticity. it was encouraging to hear that you can teach an old dog new tricks.

Mooooooo

i finally got back to work today however i have yet to get back to working out. i am seriously deconditioned!

not even near perfect running conditions, chilliscious air with the sun peeking through big puffy white clouds is doing much to coax me outside today.

i miss drinking coffee and i think it may have something do with the demise of my exercise mojo...that and the fact that i've turned into a lazy cow.

Patience

i'm SICK of being sick!

i went for a short walk around the neighborhood, brandy and M really needed to get out in the worse way too. changing the sheets is enough to cause me to break a sweat. i'm generally a very healthy person. i get run down for a day or two and then it's over but i'm beginning to feel like this flu from hell is never going to end. i make a very bad patient. i'm starting to pick at solid food now but everything tastes like ass.

i informed work i'd not be returning until next monday. another colleague is out as well and while i feel bad that my boss can't take a couple of days off as she planned i'm in no shape to work with sick people. the queen's got to step up when the worker bee's are falling to the way side.

it's not like i can hide in some cubicle behind a desk, it's hard to keep a safe distance when your hauling sick patients out of bed, getting them to perform their own self care. half the case load from a week ago was admitted the acute hospital.

i'd like to get out for another walk tomorrow before the weather kicks in, preferably somewhere forested. the fumes from the neighboring refinery were so bad today which was why the walk earlier was so brief. my car was in concord getting it's windshield replaced, but it's back now so i'll try to get to Tilden tomorrow before it rains. i actually have grown to like hiking and running in the rain but it doesn't seem like the wise thing to do just now.

On the mend

when deciding to write this final post for 2007 i knew i had my work cut out for me. i methodically went over all the crappy things that happened and really didn't see the point in this post at all. getting ripped off during what turned out to be a very stress filled vacation, aging family members and the onset of pre-teen angst. 2007 was literally a string of unfortunate and unruly events.

it was looking through my archives that things started to turn around.

Running Life

2007 was filled with lot's of firsts. my first 20k, my first half-marathon and my first full trail marathon.
when i decided to do a trail marathon, once i found the right one i was rewarded with some of the finest trail running terrain i'd ever encountered. discovering east bay regional trail system was by far a highlight in 2007 and while my actual race performance fell far from what i had hoped i had an amazing day.


Family Life

we lost our beloved matriarch, Grandma Tillie in March and then Papa Taylor 10 days before Christmas. My daughter M was closest to Papa and was quite literally a pillar of strength when it came to helping her younger cousins grieve. her capacity to comfort and nurture is amazing.

Personal Life

training for a marathon gave me lots of "me time" i feel truly grateful to my family for this.
i'd been thinking about returning to school for some time but it wasn't until after my marathon that i actually committed to it.
i registered for classes at berkeley community college. i start next month. i strongly suspect that there will be days when my brain will refuse to compute one more mathematical operation or i'll tremble at the prospect of yet another draft for some benign paper due, but knowing that i covered 26.2 miles of hilly ass terrain one Fall day not long ago will give me the steam i need to forge ahead.
my mantra will be: Relentless Forward Motion

i'm glad i took the time to reflect, looking back i have a less grim view of things. it seems i've been functioning in crisis mode for far too long. i have allot to be thankful for, possessions in the end are just things, Grandma Tillie and Papa left us the tools to build on a strong foundation. My daughter has her grandmas flair and her papas kindness.

so that's about it. we'll be ringing in the new year quietly on the mend at home, sipping ginger ale, hot tea and no doubt crashing long before midnight.

Happy New Year!

Flu-ey

i'm sooooooo sick right now. my head and chest feel like they're in a vice. a hot shower offered temporary relief but it's going to be a rough next few days. can i just tell you how old "rough days" are getting? M is a good nurturer, bringing me tea and water. i usually get a flu shot but this year i just never got around to it.

christmas eve was spent with T's family. we had a quiet meal with my mom here christmas day. M was happy and that made us happy.

2007 was a bumpy ride. I'll need to take a more thoughtful look back on things once my heads stops pounding. i just wanted to say Happy New Year to my blogger friends and wish you all the very best in 2008.

Funeral Food

i knew following up 2 glasses of wine with a beer was questionable at best. what i didn't take into consideration was the lack of food in my body. i'll spare you the details but i will say i started with the spins and ended in the bathroom.


getting drunk on a tuesday night isn't a common occurrence around here but with funeral planning in full swing (my father in-law passed last saturday) a few drinks have been in order.

i hadn't intended to get drunk, it was the mixed beveraging and no eating that got me in trouble. i blame my misfortune on funeral food.

My husbands parents are Catholic and when their youngest son (T's little brother) converted to Mormonism it about killed them. It was a festering sore spot for YEARS. As time went on and my brother in-law eventually married and raised Mormon babies of his own. his parents while they loved their grand kids have never fully accepted their son's decision to convert.

i met with my husbands sister and my mother in-law and discussed food for the reception. we don't have any idea on how many people to expect and my sister in-law said she'd rather have too much food than not enough. so, we settled on planning for 60 people. a few deli trays from costco, some sweets and drinks seemed easy enough.

later i called my mormon sister in-law and asked her if she could bring some kind of dessert. she mentioned that some friends were wanting to do something and i said that was nice and if she could farm out brownies or something that would be cool. A little later i get a call back from her and she says that their Relief Society President offered to organize and setup all the food, just needed to say when and where.

Needless to say despite the generosity being put forth I was hesitant to accept given the circumstances. I said that it was a very generous offer, and that i'd want to be sure everyone was ok with it, T walked in at that point and i put him on the phone with her.

the conversation turned abit heated with our sister in-law getting defensive and insulted. she proceeded to say that she didn't think that their should be any problem with her friends offering to help. we agreed it was a generous offer but were hesitant to turn the entire reception over to the Relief Society, given the circumstances.

By this time i had drained my second glass of Pinot Noir and foolishly decided to mix things up with a Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale. obviously i don't drink well under pressure.

T suggested that they could prepare some of the food and we'd do the rest, but my sister in-law was insulted and said "just forget it" by then her husband (T's brother) got home and was on the phone with T and when T said he suggested splitting the food prep and that his wife was insulted, my brother in-law being the dutiful husband covered for her.

Now let me just add this, a few years ago my sister in-law had a bout of encephalitis. i'm pretty certain that the part of the brain that governs her inhibitions was affected. she's not all Tourett's but she has on occasion said some pretty off the wall shit. on more than one occasion she has said things that have made me want to punch her in the head.

in the end we agreed to let the relief Society sister's crank out the desserts, though i was kinda curious about the legendary mormon funeral potatoes.

still keeping up with my short runs. lately i've taken to running solo around town sans any electronics and then walking Brandy afterwards. since the oil spill in the bay, point isabel dog park has been off limits for us because unless i keep her on-leash she wants to go in the water, i always let her before and now it seems cruel not allowing her to be off leash in dog park....she's a selective listener. so i'm trying to take her on a trail at least once a week so she can roam freely.

things will probably be quiet around here for awhile. this was crazy ass year for our family. i don't know about the rest of you but i'll be glad to bid 2007 adieu.

Peace to you and yours.