Sunday, October 28, 2007


so the party was a hit. despite a rocky start with middle school this year M has found herself a nice set of new friends. good girls, polite and fun to be around, a mothers dream really.

speaking of mothers, mine should be blowing in soon ripe with vacation lore as she just returned from Ensenada yesterday.

thus far i've had a few short exploratory runs. it really feels like fall running through piles of leaves along the quiet neighborhoods. i spotted more than a few runners this morning and i felt so good just to be running, not training. just running for the joy of it.

i've been interrogating colleagues all week about their schooling. i've had mixed reactions but mostly positive about my recent interest in not only returning to school but my interest in getting my "R" which distinguishes a certified occupational therapy assistant from a full fledged registered occupational therapist.

it's no secrete, my frustration with the medical model, the nursing home mentality and futility of it all at times. for a few years now i've grown less and less enthusiastic about my chosen profession and increasingly frustrated by the limits imposed on assistants.

i think i had a bit of an epiphany this week. for years i denied ever wanting to be an OTR. i was quite content in the assistant role. OTR's have way more responsibility , not to mention paperwork. as an assistant i just had to render treatment outlined by the OTR. i have my share of paperwork and required documentation but for the most part am free to provide direct patient care.

the last few years i've had this unidentifiable malaise. this lack energy or enthusiasm for what i do. i just attributed it to general burn-out and hoped it would be fixed with a vacation and maybe working less hours. still no matter what i did to the schedule it always feels like i'm just a worker bee, a mindless drone billing minutes.

it never occured to me that i was experiencing a change. it never occurred to me that i wanted more say, more impact on the way i did my job. talking to my boss, i asked her about going back to school and what kind benefits are available for that. she responded immediately and showed me in the handbook the dollar amount provided by the company for job related coursework. my interest in getting that R shot up tenfold.

now i have ALLOT of work ahead of me before i can even be considered a candidate for a masters ot program, uh uh a MASTERS. lots of undergrad to complete. i spoke to an admissions person at samuel merrit last week and i told her my storey and where i am academically. she is familiar with PACE program and said that was very good place to start but to go ahead fax her my western career college transcript, sam merrit is a private school and their board is more likely to consider my ot assistant coursework at a non accredited school more so than a state school.

so back to the epiphany. it struck me like a ligtening bolt. seriously, moving up in my profession could quite possibly mean a whole new approach to my career. i'd have so many more choices. not to mention the pay increase. i'm just keeping it real ya'all.

i took a peek at what the masters program entails, and i'm not even going to lie. i didn't know what a thesis was. still don't really but it looks really hard. they say running is a good metaphor for life. never was that more true than now. looking at the master program requirements, was like a non-runner dreaming about ultrarunning.

but the truth is i'm not a non-runner and i do have some schooling under my fuel belt. i know a thing or two about self pacing and energy conservation. breaking down big tasks into smaller more manageable bites. i know that i've gotten this far not by looking too far ahead but by keeping focused on my immediate surroundings and by looking up periodically.

getting off the couch is always the hardest part. i have so much to do but i know one step at a time has never ever once failed me. at dinner the other night this was what my fortune said:

You have the ability to plan a practical course for yourself and follow through.

i can recognize a good sign when i see it.