Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Because I'm the Mom

Dear M,

i will alway's feel guilty for the lack of sit down meals in our home

i will alway's have a pain in my heart for all my shortcomings and my lack patience

i will alway's want to beat the crap out of those snotty little bitches at school.

i will alway's want to protect you from the mean girls.

i will alway's worry about you, holding my breath that we'll get through this current "phase"

is there anything harder than being a parent? it's like holding a giant magnifying glass up to one's own flaws and imperfections.

i wish i felt more joy and less angst about parenting you right now. i wish i was the solid rock you need. i want so much to have the right advice, enough patience, the ability to stay neutral when every fiber of my being wants to scream. it's been a rough year and middle school hasn't exactly been a smooth transition.

i really need to get through this weekend and focus more on my parenting skills.