Wednesday, August 20, 2008

peeing in public and epiphanies

had a nice run up at Lone Oak again...without Brandy this time. 3 miles in 36 minutes.

as soon as i hit the trail i had to pee. i don't have a problem with taking a leak in the brush when necessary but i am vain enough to CARE if i'm caught with my ass hanging out and because this low key loop is popular there's always a good chance of that.

there was a guy that i had to pass to find the shoot off trail to some privacy. i trotted down a little embankement, crossed a creek and hid amongst a few big ole redwoods but still could hear that guy on the nearby main trail...which made my bladder bashful and the longer it took the more certain i became of getting caught with my pants down! eventually i relieved myself and headed over towards the main trail.

i was father along than i realized and found myself climbing right away. there's always this point when i'm on a hill when i start bargaining and it realy works. i give myself permission to back off and one of two things happen: 1) i back off guilt free or 2) i just keep going. this loop is half the distance and steepness of Strawbery but is very challenging with longish climbs in certain sections. i hiked it this past sunday and running it today felt hard but not too hard like Strawberry and i should've started here to begin with several weeks ago but i let my pride get in the way .............and now that that's out in the open i'm going to publicly give myself permission to backoff on the 20K.


feeling "soft" and "bloaty" having uncomfortable periods (when i was more active i barely noticed them) and the fear of menopause (i'm 45 now) has me reconsidering my lazy ways. i needed to register for a race so it would register in my body that i needed to start moving again.

at the time a 20k seemed reasonable i had plenty of time to train i just didn't and then i tried to cram and while i didn't do any real damage to my knee it's strained. it never bothers me when i run and i just avoid leading with the right leg on the downhills but still there's some discomfort especially when i walk on pavement. it was a dumb move on my part to try and rush things along after virtually no trail running for 6 months!

what is it with me and actually training? the only time i really trained was for the sprint tri's in 06. everything with the exception of golden hills last october was relatively easy because i was able to rely on my base. now that's pretty much shot and i really am starting over....and i know this because even though i could run 6 to 10 miles right now it would hurt. just because i can doesn't mean i should.

mistakes are good it you learn from them. i started training late and then tried to cram fitness in. my pride has been hurt as much as my knee and i resolve to show fitness the respect it deserves. it took me a long time to build up to runs like Strawberry. i need to appreciate that more and build up slower.

i'm lucky to live pretty close to the parks and Redwood is beautiful. i dig the low key vibe of pctr. there smaller and it's not long before i'm left with my thoughts on the trail. i like the commaderie but i enjoy the me time i get on a trail run the most. races allow me to feel safe, supported and enable me to explore terrain i'd otherwise might not be so bold to.

anyhoo, we'll just have to see how it goes. i ran (road) monday before work and today (dirt) the plan is to repeat monday's run on friday before work and maybe a modified Strawberry run sunday,otherwise Lone Oak for sure.

it feels good to be moving again. a routine is slowly beginning to emerge. time will tell if i can be patient with myself. sliding behind the wheel of my car as i left Lone Oak this morning i licked the salty grin on my lips and thought "oh yeah this is why i run"

Sunday, August 17, 2008

running on sidewalks isn't the only reason for sore legs, truth is my right knee is still tender from my over enthusiastic return to trail running a couple of weeks ago, namely charging down Strawberry and favoring my right leg.

despite knowing better i've broken runnings cardinal rule. build up slow and steady. it's always always worked for me in the past so why i've succumbed to this on and off bullshit approach to getting ready for a 20k is beyond comprehension. i just need to base build and focus on having fun again.

i took brandy to lone oak this morning and about 5 minutes into our hike she got spooked by an older couple walking towards us. the goofball stopped dead in her tracks sniffed out a low growel and hightailed the opposite direction, almost all the way back to the car. so picture me with poop bags, leash, keys and water bottle chasing my dog...good times. when we were well out of view of the "scary couple" she slinked over to me and had to stay on-leash for the remainder of the way.

lots of fog in the canyon this morning, misty and fragrant i love this trail. brandy's ears perked a few times to the sound of owls hooting. we reached the summit in about 30 minutes and trotted down the other side in about 15. my knee liked the gentler descent and while not a real hard workout it cleared my head and was just the right amount of outdooor time to keep me in the loop so to speak.

in other news, this year T and I celebrated birthdays together and had one party and my SIL gave us gift certificate for Sur La Table, a fancy smancy kitchen store. with M at my mom's for a sleepover we had time to shop undistracted. we got a really cool indoor hydroponic herb garden, the AeroGarden, Pro 100. it's going to look great in this weird dark corner on my kitchen counter. can't wait to start reaping the spoils, which according to the reviews is freakishly fast. pictures forthcoming.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Taking Charge

after this mornings post i laced up and squeezed in a 3 miler before work. i just have to go bed earlier a kick a few bad haits that i've fallen back into. my last three runs have been on sidewalks and i'm feeling it in the worse way. i need to get on a dirt trail and into a swimming pool stat!

both WILL happen this weekend.
so the new job still feels very new and i very green but it's a good thing and i'm gradually learning my way around new equipment.

true to form as soon as i take on something new i tend to sacrifice running. with the race only a few weeks away i'm not sure what to expect. i registered for this race long before i knew i would be changing jobs and not that any of it is an excuse anyways i just strugggle with change and don't necessarily perform best under pressure. blah blah blah.

i just want to be a runner. whether it's a low key race or getting 3-4 regular runs a week i just want to be consistent and i am constantly letting myself get off track...eek track....speed work. bleh!

it's so easy to fall off the wagaon. getting back on not so much. i just know i'm not comfortable at all where my current level of fitness is headed. currently i'm at a size "concerned" it's a bit humiliating to be back at this place because while i never achieved a perfect body as i grew more fit running was less about losing weight and more a source of joy and personal achievement.

do i have the courage to pick myself up and dust myself off? weathering the storm(crazy schedule, last minute changes, laziness, ....) and not losing sight of the benefits of regular exercise has been ridiculously hard...why? why? why? i know it's good for me, i like myself better when i'm active. WTF!!!
i just need to make it happen.