Sunday, November 16, 2008
sheesh,you hardly know how to dress these days. last weekend i was rummaging through boxes digging out sweaters and long sleeve shirts and yesterday i tore the closet apart searching out tank tops.
last week i was baking lasagnas and quick breads and this weekend the thought of even entering the kitchen is unsettling.....things better chill out soon or it's chips and cold-cuts come thanksgiving!
so, apparently i'm no longer a early bird runner..still a runner just not at the butt-crack of dawn kind of runner. i left the house this morning around 8:45 and ran mostly on the asphalt along Peralta and over to Colusa, both nice long stretches that wind through berkeley/albany residential areas. by the time i got to the big hill on colusa i stripped my shirt off and mostly ran to the top. i'm usually more modest but the heat factor dismissed that right away and i ran in my sports all the way home.
i'm not putting anywhere near the mileage,time or energy into training these days but i get in 1-2 runs a week, somewhere between 3-5 miles a pop and you know, it's all good. i logged onto active.com recently looking for a race that might appeal to me and nothing really did.
i've been happily spending time at my new studio getting my sewing and craft materials organized. i'm really lucky to have such a sweet husband who finally agreed that the extra expense was worth it. i have a nice clean well lit space in emeryville, 5 mins. from home to work on various projects that can be left out for me to pick-up on at my leisure.
i've been lurking allot and a few favorite bloggers seem to be resurfacing here and there. i've not spent allot time blogging myself but i check in on many of you daily.
i really like the new job. i just had my 90 day review and i'm so happy i could go on an on but i'll spare you. suffice it to say the right job at the right time in my career has made a profound and positive difference in my well-being.
M and i were out last night and we ran into her pre-school teacher and her partner. Laila, was more than a pre-school teacher, more like a pre-school goddess. she has the most amazing way of saying so much in so few words. she along with her staff literally taught me everything i know about parenting. we've been casual contact over the years and running into her last night was timely.
M is a teenager now, and to be honest i tend to think of how much of a drag this fact is for me, the tortured mom of a drama queen. Laila put it so succinctly when she said "the only thing harder than being a parent of a teenager is being a teenager" i don't know why but it was like a loving smack upside the head rendered by a loving trusted alli that resonated deep down. for as hard and unmanageable as it seems at times, being what i need to be for M, Laila reminded me of how important perspective is and how tough this time is for M too. it's so easy to get caught up in the "all i do for you", "your so ungrateful...", or "when i was your age...." instead of focusing on how hard her behavior is on me it really makes sense to step back and remember how fucken hard it was at her age, how insecure and frustrated i was...(am still sometimes..)
so i find myself spending less time high on a ridge somewhere, less focused on training or the next race and more time in places like Sephora or Claires or Ikea. i still have to carve out me time, i do but with less intensity. i like the pace at which i'm moving right now. it feels sustainable.