Wednesday, January 18, 2006

My plans for a leisurely lunch time run were slightly thwarted by a mtg. So, in true dedicated
"I'm a real runner now" fashion I went for a shorter run around my facility instead of my usual drive to the nicer canal trail . Let's just say, it was a soso 30 minute run, stinky cars and too noisy.
Until now I haven't mentioned much about my physical appearance on this blog.
I'm 5'3 (barely) and 157 lbs. (there's a 3-4 lb. variance depending on which scale I refer too) People never believe me when I tell them this. I'm pretty solid.
My body is beginning to change.
I don't cringe as much when stand in front of the full length mirror.
And I'm noticing the signs of firmer hamstrings, that nice little cut on the back of the upper thigh.....It's NOT totally defined but I see it there below the surface.
I'm in a weird place with clothing at the moment. I'm in transition, so I've opted for elastic waistbands and wear some form of drawstring pants everyday.
When I went from a size 14 to a 12, I dropped $80 on a luxurious pair of Patagonia pants. They were great for about 3 wks, and then they got too baggy and I've had to pin them along with the rest of my pants. Depending on the brand, I'm somewhere between a 12 and 10.
Suffice it to say clothes shopping sucks!. (which may explain my recent indulgences at the fabric store and Barnes and Noble) I've even contimplate wearing SCRUBS to work until I'm at my ideal weight (whatever that is).
My dtr. Reminded me that our focus should be on what our bodies can do rather than on appearances......So true so true.
But oh how I long for firm thighs and a smaller butt.
I'm not trying to be a waif, hell I'm a 42 year Puerto Rican.....I've got an ass and that's never going to change, but a smaller firmer version of what's back there would fine.

In proportion to my lower half, I'm small up top. It's always been that way, even when I was pregnant. I was getting fitted for a bra not long ago, and was surprised to learn I'm a "barely A!!" I'm in slight denial over this still, though bought 2 barely A's that fit fine. But so does the barely B by Maidenform...So again, depends on the brand.
Besides, I need big boobs like I need a hole in the head. No offense to the busty babes out there. But with all the trouble I have dressing my lower half, I'm glad I don't have to search for proper boob containage.
M is right, focus on what I can do with this body rather than on how it looks, or how to dress it!

Food preferences are beginning to change too, or rather my body is reacting differently to foods that I usually like. We had burritos, not long ago, and the pork filling I love just doesn't sit well anymore. I ate my turkey sandwich at the mtg. While everyone else ate pizza..........But before long I ate a little pizza too....Again it didn't sit well ( I only had a few bites ).
So, I'm seeing this as the beginnings of change in the food dept. My brain needs to catch up with my body. I still want the not so great stuff, but my body isn't excepting it like it did before. This is a good thing, as I respond well to immediate feedback, as oppose to waiting.

And whats up with my heightened sense of smell?
I swear if I didn't know better, I'd think I was pregnant! I've developed an acute sense of smell. Some women at work were frying up Lumpias, the Filipino version of an eggroll. The smell of the oil was noxious. I remember a year ago, there was a very athletic women in our dept., she was super picky about food and smells, I thought she was wack. Now look at me!

Before I ran to eat, now I can honestly say I'm eating to run.

ADDENDUM:
It's 11:15 and I just finished handsewing the binding of baby quilt #1. This is the second quilt I've ever made, the first being a 40x40 wall hanging this is more like 30x40 roman stripes in bright spring colors. I need to figure out how to post pics, i'm more motivated to post pictures of my work, than of myself!
I was too tired to run so I went to the gym this morning. I warmed up for 10 minutes on the stairmaster and did several different leg exercises. I also got a bit arms in during the lunges using 10# dumbells 3x15. My legs are stiff and sore from the workout and from sitting so long finishing the quilt.
I'm up way past my bedtime:(

7 comments:

susie said...

A thoughtful, honest post. We all have body issues, no matter what we look like. My eating habits have changed, and I like keeping off the weight I lost. Some would say I'm thin--but I *still* worry about my waist and stomach. It will never look good enough--and that's frustrating (and kind of sick). I like what M says. I'll try to remember that.

Brit said...

Welcome to runners world...I can say that seeing how I haven't run in 8 months...congrats on feeling good and keepin going!

Black Knight said...

I love pizza, I use to eat it before the early afternoon run. Pizza is easy to digest and nourishing

Mia Goddess said...

C ~ I loved reading this! The picture I had in my head of you (you do that too, right?) was *totally* different from what you described! But now that I know the truth, I have even more of a crush on you. Except for the fact that I've got the rack from hell we sound so similar physically! Kind of cool.

Makita said...

I think we all have 'issues' with what we look like. I suppose we can thank the media for that. I've found that since I've been running (just a few months now) that my eating habits have changed too! That's good thing. But I still love pizza (especially the 'gourmet' kind with apples or pears, onions, and gorgonzola cheese - yummy!). :)

LouBob said...

Great post. I lost 60 lbs and remember the day I realized my tastes had changed. WooHoo!

jeff said...

your daughter is wise beyond her years! i think we can all take a lesson from that.