Lastnights bike ride and this mornings run were the final workouts bringing the taper to a close. I'm as ready for saturday as I'll ever be.
Tomorrow is a half day at work and I will try to find parking on Telegraph to get T a gift certificate at Rasputins Records (more bang for your buck there). He recently tuned up his vintage Bianchi and switched out the pedals for clipless ones. His shoes and pedals are different than mine and hard as hell to get in and out of, but he's not discouraged and when he can actually have some time to ride vows to master them. He is much more patient than I.
Before I was married, Fathers Day didn't really mean much growing up. Without dredging the "I never really knew my dad" storey.... suffice it to say it wasn't a big deal. It wasn't until I became a parent and watched as T grew into his fatherhood that I began to appreciate the powerful role a dad plays in the life of his daughter.
Because of T, our daughter will never just settle, she'll be confident in her choices and not too much in a hurry to grow up and find love because she'll know what it's like to be loved by a good man already. She'll discover what she's good at and what she likes and she will find her way in this world secure in the knowledge that her father is there for her. Always.
I know I play a part in all of this too. I'm just more practical than T and I play the hardass more readily. I'm the task master and disciplinarian. At this stage I can't even compete with T and somebody has to keep us on schedule.
There is something irreplacable about a good dad, especially at this time in her life. She's 10 now and by that age I hadn't seen my father in well over 8 years. He died in a ridiculous way, well before his time and before we ever found a way to connect. It was weird not crying at his funeral. I'm not looking for pity just trying to make a point. I gave my daughter a good father, one that she will love well and miss when he's gone. One that will be a positive influence in her life. One that feeds her curiosity, make her think about things and encourages her to dream.
As I watch T go through a literal role reversal with his parents I know that despite the inconvinience and stress he wouldn't have it any other way. He is the ultimate example of unconditional love. I am in awe of his ability to give so selflessly. I couldn't.
To all you good fathers and father figures out there, know without question or doubt that the good your doing now makes this world a better place. Fewer kids and adults with chips on their shoulders, missing that thing that having a good dad gives them.
Know this even when it's hard.
Happy Fathers Day!