I've been reading alot rookie/newbie reports and posts lately and it seems like alot folks before they've even completed their first tri are signed up for several already. One woman, after a rough first tri, (the wetsuit was ill fitting and I guess she never practiced in it prior to her event and it nearly drowned her) this one woman proclaimed loudly that she would purchase a top of the line wetsuit and a killer bike before the next one. Her next effort reported a much better swim but upon exiting the water ( note: running around barnacles is not good) she sliced her foot open and instead of rendering proper aide she jammed her foot into her shoes and struggled with each revolution on the bike and well the run just wasn't to be. This same trinewbie goes on to vow that she will become an IRONMAN. Well I'll hand it to her she's got spunk.
I on the other hand am questioning my tri future. I recently came to terms with my "place " in this upcoming race and I feel good and though I'm not as strong a swimmer as I'd like to be I feel pretty good about my progress. The practice tri was a great chance to work out the details and to highlight strengths as well as things to work on. I was excited afterwards and I had fun during the effort but I'm not so sure I've been "bitten" by the tri bug.
Yesterday morning and early afternoon were gobbled up by appointments and errands. M and I got to the pool around 4 pm and I swam laps for over an hour (lots of rest breaks of course). We hustled out of there around 5:30 to have dinner with T before he headed over to Concord to stay with his dad. My mom-in-law was admitted to the hospital last thursday for another stroke and it seems to have affected her differently than the last time . She was transferred to where I work lastnight for rehabilitation like the time before.
The thing is, since her last stroke T and his two other siblings haven't really figured out what to do. Like most families they sort've hoped that things would return to normal and opted to wait it out rather than make any major changes. My mom-in-law did get better, but not so much better that she should resume her role as caregiver to my father-in-law who is in the mid stages of Alzheimer's disease. My mom-law (K) is a fighter though and despite the deficits remained fiercly independent, though she really could use help. My sis-in-law had to cancel in home support because K didn't want a stranger in the house, in the meantime T and and his siblings have been juggling their schedules to take them to appointments and whatnot. It was quite stressful to say the least.
So, now were in the same place again and we spouses (I was on the phone the other day with my bro-in-law and boy did he need to vent!!) are more than a little bit concerned that the hard decisions haven't been made yet and the bulk/burden of care is once again on our partners. It's such an overwhelming thing caring for aging parents and dealing with all the finances and medical decisions no doubt. As a healthcare professional I understand that my husband and his siblings had to go through some degree of denial before they could move forward but as a wife not so much, guh!!!
Maybe this has something to do with my lack of enthusiam about a summer filled with triaspirations. The balance has definaitely been upset around here and the need to train for events feels abit selfish in the midst of everything. I'm not slacking off per say but I'm definitely not as focused. The unknown is always so uncomfortable and I feel just awful for feeling this way, but theres no telling what's going to happen with my in-laws and no point of planning trips, or events or anything that's going to require T's assistance because his plate is so full already.
I've been on the fence about future tris all along, I know that. The main objective has in fact already been achieved. I wanted to learn to swim, so in that respect it has been a huge success already. Just not sure what lies ahead for us as we try to figure all this out. Did I mention how uncomfortable I am with uncertainty?
Hell, right now my life IS a Multisport!!