Sunday, March 18, 2007

The Call

I heard the phone ring at 7 am this morning. initially i though it might be my friend tracey calling to join me for a run this morning. she and her friend kelly and i went for a decent bike ride yesterday first ride of the year! tracey's entered in Wildflower which is a mere 7 weeks away....and she hasn't done any brick's yet....a single mom juggling job and the kid...she's an endurance athlete everyday.

over green hefeweizen we talked about going down to the event site in a few weeks and doing a big brick. i haven't trained like that in awhile...but i'm not signed up for Wildflower either, but i offered my support and told her i'd do a few smaller bricks to help her along.

as i layed in bed i heard the call go into voicemail. i rolled over to assess the situation. i was sure to drink tons of water after drinking 2 big ass beers. there were a few tough climbs during the ride, but the legs felt good no new sorness to speak of. i felt good. and then i didn't . i realized in that instant that it wasn't kelly calling but most likely my mom with news of grandma. i rolled out of bed used the bathroom and put on a pot of coffee before checking my voicemail. and sure enough, grandma had passed away only moments earlier at home with my mom, aunt and 2 younger cousins by her side.

i spoke to my mom briefly and she said alot family was around yesterday and grandma listened to her hawaiian music and seemed content. i had my one on one time with her 2 weeks ago without a housefull of people. i was able to tend to some basic needs get her up in her wheelchair and eat a little lunch. i know we connected and for that i am grateful.

i don't feel compelled to rush over there just yet. a few relatives are headed over to spend some time with her before she's taken away but i don't want to see her like that. she's already gone and all that left is tired broken body. grandma and i had our time together and i want to hold onto that for awhile longer.

i'm going to go for that run now.


Mia Goddess said...

{{hugs}} Even when you know that call is coming, it's never easy. Take of yourself, and I hope you are able to honor her life in a way that feels right to you.

Anne said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. My thoughts go out to you and your family, especially your mom. I lost my grandmother in September and her absence still reverberates.