Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Hump Day

last week, M witnessed a rather vicious school yard fight involving 5 girls. the fight apparently was over a boy. the end result was pretty ugly, and M was obviously shook up. just this morning on the early show there was a segment on Mean Girls...a girl fight in the bathroom was captured on video and shown on YOU TUBE. the intensity in which the girl attacked the other was disturbing...even more scary was the fact that the girls barely knew each other.

i remember being the new kid and being singled out by bullies. i have no fond memories of the 6th grade. luckily things did turn around and i was never a victim again, but i have strong sense memories of that kind of fear and i know it's causing me anguish beyond what it should now as i watch my girl struggle to find her place in middle school. she has a group she hangs out with at lunch, girls a grade up that she knew from her grammar school so it's good there, she has friends. she's just having trouble with a couple girls in her class.

kids in our school district come from all walks of life, you've got the privileged berkeley hill kids, the urban kids and then the middle of the road kids. M has had her first taste of snobbery. girls interrogating her about where she shops, if her parents are college educated, even questioned about how many levels her house is. for the first time she is experiencing social and class distinction and it's really doing a number on her confidence. we're hardly well off nor are we poor, we have a modest home in west berkeley, a desirable address but by no means lavish or stately.

M's 12th birthday is coming up and she doesn't want to have home party...i think she's embarrassed about our lack of stateliness to tell you the truth. i'm a little sad, we always had so much fun decorating and planning her parties at home. bleh! i think i'm just in mourning over the loss of my little girl and terrified of what lies ahead. ok, enough mama drama!

we got a bit moisture dumped on us last night and i could not be happier. the gunked up trail will help me keep to a slow start on saturday. only the first few miles is out in the open, much of the course is canopied so unless it gets really wet in the next few day's trail conditions should be ok. there is one slightly steep AND rocky section that could get treacherous, but i take my time on that section anyway. ok, off i go to bang out a little 4 miler before heading to work.


Anne said...

We went through the same thing when the girls were in middle school. I had one smart-ass ask how it felt to live in a "used house."

I wish school officials would treat bullies for the criminals-in-the-making that they are and not only kick them out of school for awhile but send them to the police so they atone for their bad behavior in front of a judge -- and get a taste of their own medicine behind juvie bars.

psbowe said...

Ugh, why does this have to be? It's like we work so hard to teach our kids not to judge others, and it only takes one 'loser' to come along to wipe it all away.
Hope things get better for her and you.