so the new job still feels very new and i very green but it's a good thing and i'm gradually learning my way around new equipment.
true to form as soon as i take on something new i tend to sacrifice running. with the race only a few weeks away i'm not sure what to expect. i registered for this race long before i knew i would be changing jobs and not that any of it is an excuse anyways i just strugggle with change and don't necessarily perform best under pressure. blah blah blah.
i just want to be a runner. whether it's a low key race or getting 3-4 regular runs a week i just want to be consistent and i am constantly letting myself get off track...eek track....speed work. bleh!
it's so easy to fall off the wagaon. getting back on not so much. i just know i'm not comfortable at all where my current level of fitness is headed. currently i'm at a size "concerned" it's a bit humiliating to be back at this place because while i never achieved a perfect body as i grew more fit running was less about losing weight and more a source of joy and personal achievement.
do i have the courage to pick myself up and dust myself off? weathering the storm(crazy schedule, last minute changes, laziness, ....) and not losing sight of the benefits of regular exercise has been ridiculously hard...why? why? why? i know it's good for me, i like myself better when i'm active. WTF!!!
i just need to make it happen.