Is it a coincidence.........
that a bad day coincides with a non-running day. Phone ringing again!!!! Damn those telemarketers.....thank god for caller ID!!!!
Thursday's usually suck for me at work, I'm the only full time OT staff and I usually have to double up on treatments..........Which is fine when (sick/old/confused) people are cooperative! Catch my drift?
The trouble starts when you have a group and one starts belly aching that their too tired, don't feel like doing there therapy, whatever the f...And than they ALL start complaining and there I am having to "educate" them on the role of therapy in their recovery and that a little something is better than nothing. blah blah blah. Today I was less than convincing.
Don't get me wrong, I like my work most of the time, I like the staff I work with, were a pretty cohesive bunch......But anyone who provides occupational therapy services in a skilled nursing setting can tell you, burn out is high. I like helping people help themselves, I believe that irregardless of age they can benefit from services that will help them be stronger and more independent. At times it is very rewarding. Today however, it was very draining.
I need a vacation.
So, I've been reading a book "the competitive runner's handbook" by bob and shelly glover. I went straight to chapter 27 "Mental Training" the part on fear of failure and fear of success were of equal interest to me........I tend to "choke' when the pressure is on.
I've never done well on tests or drills of any kind. I always choked during typing class drills. I failed getting my drivers license 3 times before I eventually passed. For awhile I was a seasonal fire fighter for CDF in Butte county, I didn't pass the basic training the first time. I did the second time around and while I kicked ass and worked as hard as any guy on my unit, I sucked at timed drills especially knot tying. I did eventually get my oxygen tank on in under minute, my unit buddy practiced with me every night. I didn't pass the math portion of my entrance exam into OT school, but managed to get another chance and with some tutoring pass on the 2nd try. I did manage to pass my state boards on the first try, you could hear my shriek of disbelief for miles around!!!!!
So, how helpful is it to recap past failures a few days before the race? I guess it's good to get it out in writing and to reflect that despite my failures I'm not a quitter. I've got heart. What I lack in natural talent or ability is made up for with hardwork. I'm not afraid of hard work.
And that friends has gotten me this far.