Wednesday, August 23, 2006

I just want to be a good mom

Yesterday M and I were talking about what we were gonna do tomorrow (today) and I was saying a bike ride would be good , she agreed and I fought the temptation to "lead" where we would ride. The trick with getting her to go is to allow her to lead.

We got to talking about fall activities and what she would be interested in and I learned that's she's always been curious about golf..I love golf! How did I not know this about her? I only dabbled in it many years ago but I liked the game and while I never had a powerful swing I could hit straight. M also likes bowling and she's pretty good at it, like me me she's a straight shooter.........

So this conversation was going well and the topic of getting in shape came up. This led to needing to schedule a physical for her....I mentioned that I'd been avoiding it because the pediatrician really harped on us about M's weight. This pencil thin woman who weighed probably 80 lbs. really laid into us regarding all the risks associated with obesity.

I am well aware of the child obesity epedemic, I can appreciate the attention that it's getting, overall its a positive step...yet and I'm sure I speak for others when I say, lecturing and guilt don't work. Realistic solutions and ideas do. So, don't think your doing your job by just pointing out whats wrong, fuckhead!

It got so every time we'd go in for whatever she'd harp more that M was too heavy and honestly it was a big turn off. She said that M was way too preoccupied with food. Perhaps, but she's as interested in food preparation as she is eating....More so I'd say....She likes to bake and is quite capable of following simple recipie's with minimal supervision. M is in good health, a bit portly around the middle but otherwise she's fine. Her physical activity could improve and I've opted to be an example more so than a nag about it.

Still, I know that I need to be more assertive with her .....A very tricky thing as you all can imagine ... Ten year old girls are super self-conscious.

Anyways I made mention why I was avoiding the pediatrician and she blurted out " I want to go on a diet tomorrow!" Oh shit, I went and gave her a complex.....Great......Just what I had in mind....Guilt her into thinness......Way to go mom....

On occasion I am capable of thinking on my feet.........immediately the right words started falling from my lips. I said , " you know it's not about dieting really, it's more about making better choices and not just with food.....Would you consider doing a walk/run program with me?"

She cautiously agreed, then asked for specification's: Not everyday, right? We'll take it slow, right?.......

Later at home T mentioned that M was being extra good and that she should get her Shuffle this week, initially I thought "gee, I wish he would of discussed it with me first before saying it in front of her and putting me on the spot.".....Than duh!!!!...it hit me.... Walk/run program ....Shuffle....Hell yes !! she's getting that shuffle now......

She's a greed to to go for bike ride today and I still need to download music into the new gadgets so it's not likely to happen today. I'm so nervous about screwing this up! About handling this delicate topic positively and keeping it fun. I got my work cut out for me!

3 comments:

tri-mama said...

The fact that you are concerned for your daughter's health and mental well being demonstrate that you are doing a great job. I had a ped dr. who un nerved me every time we saw him with his condescending comments and questions. I just quit going to see him. I go to his nurse practitioner instead. Just keep giving her opportunities and being a role model and it will all work out fine.

Anne said...

I've been in your shoes, having raised two daughters who both were dancers and had different body types. One was very slender; the other inherited her father's family build. I'm sure your pediatrician means well, but I'd suggest going to someone else that's a little less obsessed with the issue -- and who has a better bedside manner. You should leave a doctor's office feeling empowered, not guilty.

Siren said...

You sound like an awesome mom - I vividly remember begging my mom to go for walks with me, but she always refused. I think it might have been easier for me to embrace excercise if I'd had a role model like you!

Thanks so much for your encouraging words.... I really appreciate your suggestion too - I'm so buried under stuff right now it hadn't occurred to me that I should totally write about IMWI! It will be a lovely way to commemorate the weekend and to get my mind off everything else.