It's Official

I'm addicted to the ipod. I went totally mental looking for it this morning....it had slipped off the trunk I place my running junk on ....the wave of relief that I felt once I found it was no less satisfying than any junkie jonesing and then scoring!!!.....I couldn't fathom the idea of a long run without it. How sad is that?

Hurricane Christine

I hadn't been running here in awhile. After 2 loops I'm usually pooped.
Not today, I could of kept going.....wretched time restraints prevented me from going longer....
Oh well a little something is always better than nothing. I think I tend to forget that if there's not time for a longer workout that even 20 minutes is keeping me consistent.....this level of fitness I'm striving towards is an accumulative thing and consistency is key.

I've been feeling a tad bit unsteady lately, a barrage of bullshit challenges one after another has rocked my reserve a bit ...when that happens I clean house. It's a way to get focused and it calms me down. T was a big help this week and I'd be remiss to overlook his ability to give me shelter from the storm so to speak....the self induced storm I can conjure up when I feel overwhelmed.

The clouds have parted, I see the blue on the horizon.
It's all going to be ok.

Riding and Running

Got together with Arthur and Emily for a long ride this weekend...35 miles (3.5 hours in the saddle!), my longest ride to date. It wasn't the nicest day for a ride, gray with poor visibility. Starting my period the day before didn't help much. Let's just say it wasn't the most comfortable ride of my life. But so as not to be a total bitch bucket, there were some nice moments, the fast descents, feeling strong on the hills despite being tired...

We took Grizzly Peak to Redwood Regional Park. A detour on Pinhurst (will be in place through November) but a good portion of it was accessible from the south side. From there we headed over to Moraga, Orinda and up the backside of Tilden.

I just saw the film Prefontaine this weekend and really liked it, the soundtrack rocked! Man what an athlete! It's not unusual for me to watch a movie a couple of times in a row if I really like it. I watched a little of it again this morning while getting ready to run. My computer has been in the shop since Saturday and I needed help getting motivated. A "swift"
(ipod induced) 40 minute run in the surrounding neighborhood and back home taking time to stretch. I love me some Black-Eyed Peas in the morning.

My hair cut turned out pretty good but I'm pretty sure I'll be wearing a ponytail tomorrow. Yes, it's pretty and looks nice but it's highly unlikely that I'm going to take the time to blowdry, press and curl my hair everyday to achieve the look.



I

Seasons Change

God I feel like rigamortis has set in!! I'm so stiff and sore....probably from the lack of yoga. I haven't run since last Saturday...this just occurred to me today. The weekend seemed pretty busy, I took Monday off to chill....same on Tuesday...went for a short swim and bike ride on wed.
Yesterday when I arrived at the pool for a lunchtime swim...it was closed! New fall schedule, I'll have to get there before 1pm....which means getting to work earlier....aaaarg!
I re-opened my YMCA membership and so I'll have access to their indoor pool, yoga and other classes which will make life more convenient.

M appears to be settling into her new routine, she seems to have gotten over any concerns regarding getting "cheated" by having to be in a 4th/5th combined class. Her teacher seems to have the right combination of warmth and smarts.
I'm not exactly sure how the teacher divides her time between the two grades, but M assures me that the 5th graders have the sweeter set-up.....which has me wondering.....I have a few questions for back to school night.

Oh yeah, I'm getting my hair cut today. Taking up to 3 inches off, shooting for a shorter more manageble "bob" style, one that will require less blow drying time, but long enough for the I-don't-have-time -to-do-anything-else-ponytail. I have my hair chemically relaxed and now that I'm graying more and more around my hairline, it's way noticeable when I strutt the ponytail...needless to say relaxing and dyeing on top of swimming is wreaking havoc on my already damaged hair.

Some days I just want to go all butch and shave my head!

Still Up and Running

My blog is one year old this month. This time last year I was trying to figure what the hell a "url" was and I signed on with blogger and the rbf. Susie was my second commenter...the first being spam...which Susie explained there was a setting that would limit that from happening.
Slowly one comment turned into two, than a few more...I was thrilled the first time someone from another country dropped by and even moreso when Mia, a local gal gave MUCH encouragement and support as I ventured into the unknown.
Anne from so. cal has on more than one occasion has shown extreme kindness and has encouraged me to keep at this writing thing.
Loubob and Jeff have always seemed so grounded and their work ethic spur me on to be better....dig deeper.

And soooooooo many others, runners, triathletes, ultrarunners all so inspiring and no doubt unaware of the ripple effect they have caused.

I remember feeling rejected when my comments went unreturned . I'd take it personally. I just assumed that it was a two way street ya know?
I think I came here looking for something....something outside myself...I needed the support and encouragement of ...veritable strangers.... as I embarked on this journey towards fitness and a real lifestyle change.
Not having "real" people in my life that were looking for the same thing. True I have a great husband...who has always been supportive in just about anything I've shown an interest, still I needed information, the kind that comes from experience and I turned to this new community....perhaps at times when I should of been looking inward instead of out. I recall feeling especially....vulnerable?.... after baring my soul in some dark revealing way and then seeing
"0 comments", I started wondering if I was expecting too much or if people just thought I was weird. And then I read this:

Rejection can be killing. It kills faster and more effectively when the victim is already lacking in some vital way.

Patti Austin

When I first got here I was thirsty, hell dehydrated is more like it. Parched and dried out, I searched for wisdom, strength and knowledge. I drank and drank and drank. Always the taker .

Along the way though, something happened and I started giving back. I started to realize that there are other people just like me, just starting out whether it be their first foot race or struggle with swimming. That I had been there and lived to tell the tale....not always cheerfully or with much humor! Yet, I was able to relate and offer a helpful word or two.

Coming to this place and taking the time to record this journey has been as much apart of the transformation as any physical changes I've made.
From a tired middle-aged wife and mom, working at a lack-luster job to a more vibrant happier healthier me. I still need to change jobs...but the difference now is I believe I can....before I always thought "but what can I do?, I lack the training, education....." Thoughts of "I can't" no longer hold the same weight and more often I'm thinking "Why not?"

Excuses no longer holding the same weight. I've raised the bar on myself. That's been the best change so far. I'm a long way off from being the woman I want to be but I'm moving in the right direction.

Labor Day Weekend

Saturday Brandy and I went to Briones . Parking on the road to avoid the $5.00 park entrance fee we hiked in a little ways and were greeted by a friendly kiosk attendant who kindly waived the $2.00 dog entrance fee. I wanted a longish trail where I could run and hike and the attendant suggested Briones Crest Trail, a 10-12 mile loop.

We started on Abrigo trail for close to a mile then turned left on Santos. Santos then became Briones Crest Trail. This would be the longest stretch of trail. I was able to take a few pictures with my camera phone...though you'll most likely never see them as I don't know how to get them out of there. The weather was mild and despite being out in the open most of the time the strong breeze's and occasional shade made for a comfortable run/hike.

Taking Brandy's cue we would walk when she appeared tired. She let's me know this in a number of ways. First she'll walk directly in front of me, as though she's trying to slow me down and me, not picking up on her cue right away...would nudged her along or scoot around her.

Whenever I would stop to give her water and she'd lie on her belly lapping the water from my cupped hand. I should get a sierra cup or something similar and lightweight to attach to her harness....Other times she would just plop down in the middle of the trail and we'd rest for awhile longer. I'll be honest I had regrets at times bringing her but it was good practice for me stopping and starting.

A few times we got off the main trail (sidetrips I call them) and would backtrack to the main trail....which is why I'm convinced we covered more than 10 miles.

I had three water bottles (2) in my waist pack and one in the handheld. When the handheld was empty I attached it to Brandy's harness. Sometime later I needed to shed a layer, so I tied my singlet onto her too, Brandy was proving to be a decent sherpa!

I should mention ....it's official...I'm hooked on the ipod...never thought it would happen...but it's true...the long runs are great in and of themselves but I must admit the right tunes really enhance the whole experience. Funny thing too, music that I wouldn't necessarily regard as "running music" or even music
I 'd normally listen too have proven to be perfect trail companions. Here's a sampling of what I'm listening to...note, I've only downloaded cd's and then hit "songs" and they are played randomly...Black Eyed peas, Britney Spears...that's right...okay before I lose any credibility...just try it before you knock it...Santana, Earth Wind and Fire, Jill Scott and David Bryn...

Briones Crest Trail intersects with Seaborg which leads to Bear Creek....where hot tired dogs....and their people ... can cool off. Brandy wasted no time submerging herself in the creek drinking at the same time. I let her hang out until she appeared ready to go and she darted up ahead back to the kiosk. The attendant offered a dog biscuit but she, I think like anyone (anyting?)who's come off a hard trek, didn't have an appetite. Before heading out of the park, we had one more drink of water at the fountain.

On the way home I stopped at the grocery store and picked up few more ingredients for the lasagna I wanted to make. I tried something different and for the last layer I used eggplant, red bell pepper and fresh basil. It turned out really good. My friend W came over for dinner later and it was good catching up with her, as we hadn't seen eachother in quite awhile.

Sunday I went on hike with the Sierra Club. You might recall, my confusion with finding the entrance of Wildcat where dogs are allowed...I'd gotten there many times on foot but I wasn't sure how to get to Alvarado Staging Area by car. The leader organized a 6 hour hike covering Wildcat Canyon and Tilden. We met @8:45 at N. Berkeley BART and then carpooled to the trail head.

I met some nice people, quite a few had hiked together before and I got the scoop on some of the organized car camping and backpacking trips.

The entrance turns out to be super easy to get to....so easy that I didn't even get lost on the eway home...(I took my car and the woman that rode with me rode back with someone cuz I didn't go straight home afterwards)....anyways, it was really easy to find and I will take Brandy there sometime....just not today.!!

My legs and feet are tired and yesterdays thought of a bike ride this morning have taken a back seat to bulky breakfast burritos and bad TV!!! The house is in pretty good shape and there's plenty of lasagna left over for when T and M get home this afternoon.

In honor of Labor Day, I think I'll just chill!

Moments of Glory

There was a point during the race last Sunday, where everything felt amazing. The legs, the breathing, the cadence all synthesized and I felt like the strongest me ever.

It's taken a few days for me to appreciate this. Following a race, I often focus on what went wrong, what wasn't working. It's often several days later when I recall those moments where all is right and I feel for however brief as though I am flying.

And it's not long after, that I begin to run out of steam and my feet touch the earth once more and I am not so strong, not so fierce. But tempered and spent and tired and giddy and a little dehydrated most likely...

And then I'm sore and I take special care to stretch and hydrate, eat well and sleep. All because of this race, and hopefully future races. I want to keep this feeling. I want to remember why I do what I do.