i haven't let more than 4 days go by in between runs for over a year. after 7 days off my 4 miler on sunday was challenging. drinks on friday and saturday, rich food, less sleep and poor hydration didn't help either.
when i was training i often thought about how nice a non-training run would be. no pressure no plan just run to run. now here it was a week after the race and i was thinking how easy it was getting to keep putting it off. by the time sunday rolled around i finally laced up and headed for the nearby baytrail. as i stepped outside the bright sunny sky and the right itune had me all "what was i thinking?" sure i started out a little too fast and the second half felt harder and longer, but i was happy to be running again.
miagoddess truly is a goddess. she graciously offered to keep M over so T and I could have a little "aaalone time" on saturday night. it was heaven, we had drinks and dinner at jack london square, and listened to David Sanchez, a young hot talented Brazilian saxophonist at Yoshi's jazz club.
so seriously i need to rethink this post marathon non-training run running mode i'm trying to enter without being too much of a slacker. i have a few balls in the air, running will keep me grounded just nothing too structured or long for awhile.
i can't help but wonder how the southern cal bloggers are all doing. the elements are fierce right now. my thoughts and prayers also go out to the fire and law enforcement officials. be safe and well everyone.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Steps
it's been a week since the race and with the exception of scooting across the street before the stale yellow light turned red i haven't run a single step.
other than cut and color my hair, paint my nails and shop i haven't really done much in the way self-care (exercise).
seems life is no less busy now that i no longer have a training schedule looming over head. there's always a million other things vying for time and attention.
i will NOT be hosting thanksgiving this year. getting this house in shape for M's party next week has only served to strengthen my resolve on that one, though my weakness for guilt induced gatherings is trying to have the last word.
i've been thinking about going back to school. i called berkeley city college the other day and spoke with the assistant clerk at PACE (it's basically a curriculum set up for working adults who wish to obtain a liberal arts degree) and she sent me their assessment schedule and i think with allot of hard work i could get around having to take algebra over and register for classes in the spring.
i'm not exactly sure but i'd like to major in english. i think i have some potential and it seems to be where my interest lies. i have few classes on my trascript that may transfer over but the bulk of my general ed. was on a career college level and aren't transferable..
i've been thinking about this for a long time.
career college was an easier choice, i had years of experience as an rehab aide and it seemed like the natural progression. it was only 18 months and i had a good paying job immediately upon graduation and a pay boost when i passed the state boards. that was nearly 8 years ago and while i'm good at my job i'm not happy.
i long to do something truly meaningful. i long for a more in depth understanding of the world and my place in it. i feel unfinished. maybe i'm being too idealistic, thinking that a college degree is going to miraculously transform me. maybe i'm going through a midlife crisis, ya think?
all i know is that life is too short. i have bills, a mortgage, a family that relies on my benefits. i know on some level that this is a ridiculous proposition. the timing is horrible. lifestyle changes and midterms won't be easy that's a given, but the marathon was a good lesson in "hard" and i think i could do it.
and it has been my experience that once i get that thought in my head i usually follow through.
i guess that phone call was a different kind of step. a baby step, but one in the right direction.
other than cut and color my hair, paint my nails and shop i haven't really done much in the way self-care (exercise).
seems life is no less busy now that i no longer have a training schedule looming over head. there's always a million other things vying for time and attention.
i will NOT be hosting thanksgiving this year. getting this house in shape for M's party next week has only served to strengthen my resolve on that one, though my weakness for guilt induced gatherings is trying to have the last word.
i've been thinking about going back to school. i called berkeley city college the other day and spoke with the assistant clerk at PACE (it's basically a curriculum set up for working adults who wish to obtain a liberal arts degree) and she sent me their assessment schedule and i think with allot of hard work i could get around having to take algebra over and register for classes in the spring.
i'm not exactly sure but i'd like to major in english. i think i have some potential and it seems to be where my interest lies. i have few classes on my trascript that may transfer over but the bulk of my general ed. was on a career college level and aren't transferable..
i've been thinking about this for a long time.
career college was an easier choice, i had years of experience as an rehab aide and it seemed like the natural progression. it was only 18 months and i had a good paying job immediately upon graduation and a pay boost when i passed the state boards. that was nearly 8 years ago and while i'm good at my job i'm not happy.
i long to do something truly meaningful. i long for a more in depth understanding of the world and my place in it. i feel unfinished. maybe i'm being too idealistic, thinking that a college degree is going to miraculously transform me. maybe i'm going through a midlife crisis, ya think?
all i know is that life is too short. i have bills, a mortgage, a family that relies on my benefits. i know on some level that this is a ridiculous proposition. the timing is horrible. lifestyle changes and midterms won't be easy that's a given, but the marathon was a good lesson in "hard" and i think i could do it.
and it has been my experience that once i get that thought in my head i usually follow through.
i guess that phone call was a different kind of step. a baby step, but one in the right direction.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Golden Hills Marathon Report 2007
i awoke feeling well rested and headed toward the kitchen for my usual pre-race ritual of coffee making. to my horror i was out of coffee and after bitching at T about it for a few minutes i walked over to the donut shop and bought a cup, grumbling and feeling guilty for getting so annoyed.....hmmmm, this day was getting off on the wrong foot already. i guess i had a few pre-race jitters after all and the upset to my routine kinda threw me.
i'm so glad i picked a race closer to home, i was able to leave the house at 8 am and be there in plenty of time for check-in, which essentially meant walking up to a woman at a picnic table and saying "hi, i'm here" T hung out with me for a little bit, i met catra's friend jolynn, and after awhile T sensed that i was settled he took off for home. he would be spending the day with M shopping for birthday party/halloween decorations. btw, M's had a change of heart regarding a home party and assured me that she's still my little girl, yeah!
the air was cool and crisp, and while in line at the porta john, an extremly fit young man, a real cutey patooty with a brazillian accent was shivering and hopping around to keep warm. i looked him over and said "yep, with zero percent body fat it's gotta be hard keeping warm." he smiled at that and wished me luck as we headed over to the start.
one of the first things i noticed at this event were all the western state shirts. quite a few really. i thought to myself, yeah, this little race is a recovery run for these folks. the 50 miler's had a 6:30 am start from the opposite end, and carl one of the directors reminded us to share the trail. at times when jolynn and her friend and i were together we would see the 50 milers coming towards us, and we'd exchange "good job, looking strong, yeah!"...but whenever we saw the ladies they got the biggest props. these women are my heroes!
as i predicted the trail was good and muddy, i carefully selected just the right stick to scrape off the mud and then found my place way in the back of the pack. as usual i didn't hit the garmin right away, throwing me off a bit for distance. not allot but enough to mess with my gu schedule. i forgot to shut it off as i crossed the finish too and it still read 25.84...so me!
despite the mushy trail conditions everything pointed to a good race day. the weather was sunny and cool. the vibe was mellow and charged at the same time. i felt so at home, so good that even when i noticed my ipod was hadn't rec'vd all the new tunes i just purchased. it didn't phase me a bit. i was ready to do this thing.
as was the plan i walked the majority of the hills, flew down the downhills and plodded/shuffled/walked along the flats. i played leap frog with jolynn and her friend (i'm so bad with names!!) for quite awhile we'd run some together and either i would stop, they'd stop. jolynn's friend and i caught up with each other several times over the course.
now ya'll know i love me some fast downhill. it's one time i'm truly appreciative of my ample backside and thighs. the wet conditions did little to temper my enthusiasm and it was during these sections that i felt best strength wise. i have to wonder though if holding back more would of left more gas in the tank towards the end.
Gear
function wise everything was holding up well. i decided against the camelbak, and chose my big fanny pack(mistake) and a another handheld. this race was so well supported that i could of easily taken my smaller waist pack with two bottles and been set. oh well, live and learn. i wore comfy shorts and a singlet. the only chafing i experienced was a tiny spot on my left ribcage where the pack rubbed after doffing my singlet (i had a sports bra on!) feet were all good, not a single blister or hot spot.
Pain
the one pain that showed up fairly early on and would remain with me the entire day was a tight left lower calf. i'd stop to strech it out perodically. it didn't feel like a cramp, as it was duller in sensation, but i wasn't too sure. i hadn't experimented much with electrolyte supplements and was wary of trying them now. the pain persisted like i said so i gulped a handful of salty sunflower seeds and when that didn't seem to help i did take one e-cap by mile 20. the pain wasn't causing any real problems just distracting and annoying.
Terrain
hills and more hills. the start was pretty mushy like i said, which was a good thing really as it guaranteed a nice slow start. i'd walk for a while until my shoes got too heavy and i'd scrape the mud off with my carefully selected stick. once i got to the top of the first serious section of seaview, i found my running legs. this part was in pretty good shape a little wet in places but for the most part totally runnable. it wasn't long before the next climb though. i kept to my plan and slowed to walk. this pretty much describes the entire day. i have to say the toughest part of the day for me was Bort Meadow, that fucking climb was the longest hottest stretch of the day.
Support
as i mentioned this race was very well supported. i never felt more cared for. you could tell these folks really wanted us to have a good day. people were just so nice and helpful. when we got to the first of several road crossings each time i felt like a baby chick be carefully escorted by the mama duck, our cross guards were on the J.O.B no doubt. for the most part i didn't linger too long at the aides stations. (hey kinda like you olga!) at sibley i did use the restroom. at bear station i filled up my bottles, and casually glanced at the array of food, a volunteer teasingly said, "hmph, turning your nose up at my pbj's huh" i assured her they were lovely, but that i had a plan and didn't want to mess with it, being this was my first marathon. at the second to last aide station, a man said "it's all downhill from here" i smirked and said "uh uh". at the last AS i stopped for bit to stretch my calf, boy that drew allot of attention "here hon, get in the shade" "you want a pretzle, fluids??" i was a little embarrassed by all the attention to tell you the truth. i assured everyone i was okay, and then i saw jolynn's friend pull in and go. i had to keep moving. she was my rabbit.
The Final 10k
this is were the reality of my lack of training really sank in. another women at the last aide station cruised in and asked how much further, a volunteer shouted out 3 miles, the fit older gal, perked up and said "oh, see ya!" and was gone. i could only wish for that kind energy at this point. according to my garmin i was at mile 23:84 when my fantasy of 6 hours came and went. remaining consistent with the rest of this course that last 3 miles were hilly too! jolynn's friend and i played leap frog for a good bit, at one point we hung together , but she was much stronger than i on the flats and i once again was looking at her from way behind. i'm pretty sure she came in a minute or so ahead of me. when i saw the finish line i tried to look less like how i felt and with a huge smile on my face and quick glance at the clock i crossed the finish in 6:29.
i told T to be there by 3 o'clock, even though i wasn't overly confident about finishing within 6 hours. i didn't see them anywhere and i kinda just walked around for abit . i was done. no big wave of emotion, just happy to have done what i set out to do. i wonder if i had been greeted by a familiar face at the finish if i would of lost it, so maybe it was better i got to the finish on my own. i was able to cheer jolynn in and not long after that my peeps arrived with chocolate milk. M even made me crown, so sweet.
and so there you have it. my first marathon report. i did what i set out to do, not exactly how i envisioned it but i can live and learn from it. it was really great meeting jolynn and her friend, they made a long hard day fun and added a friendly element of competition that made me work harder. i do hope our paths find eachother again. they are my heroes too! i'm sorry i never found #551, randy i hope you had a good day!
i already had a mad crush on trail running when i set out to do this race. i'm totally smitten, head over heels in love now. i want to be that gal at mile 23 that say's "see ya!" i want to get better, i want work harder. also, i want to thank everyone who followed along and wished me well on this crazy trip. i have even more respect and admiration for you guy's now that i've towed line myself. but right now i want to clean up this house and get ready for a birthday party at home. life is so good.
i'm so glad i picked a race closer to home, i was able to leave the house at 8 am and be there in plenty of time for check-in, which essentially meant walking up to a woman at a picnic table and saying "hi, i'm here" T hung out with me for a little bit, i met catra's friend jolynn, and after awhile T sensed that i was settled he took off for home. he would be spending the day with M shopping for birthday party/halloween decorations. btw, M's had a change of heart regarding a home party and assured me that she's still my little girl, yeah!
the air was cool and crisp, and while in line at the porta john, an extremly fit young man, a real cutey patooty with a brazillian accent was shivering and hopping around to keep warm. i looked him over and said "yep, with zero percent body fat it's gotta be hard keeping warm." he smiled at that and wished me luck as we headed over to the start.
one of the first things i noticed at this event were all the western state shirts. quite a few really. i thought to myself, yeah, this little race is a recovery run for these folks. the 50 miler's had a 6:30 am start from the opposite end, and carl one of the directors reminded us to share the trail. at times when jolynn and her friend and i were together we would see the 50 milers coming towards us, and we'd exchange "good job, looking strong, yeah!"...but whenever we saw the ladies they got the biggest props. these women are my heroes!
as i predicted the trail was good and muddy, i carefully selected just the right stick to scrape off the mud and then found my place way in the back of the pack. as usual i didn't hit the garmin right away, throwing me off a bit for distance. not allot but enough to mess with my gu schedule. i forgot to shut it off as i crossed the finish too and it still read 25.84...so me!
despite the mushy trail conditions everything pointed to a good race day. the weather was sunny and cool. the vibe was mellow and charged at the same time. i felt so at home, so good that even when i noticed my ipod was hadn't rec'vd all the new tunes i just purchased. it didn't phase me a bit. i was ready to do this thing.
as was the plan i walked the majority of the hills, flew down the downhills and plodded/shuffled/walked along the flats. i played leap frog with jolynn and her friend (i'm so bad with names!!) for quite awhile we'd run some together and either i would stop, they'd stop. jolynn's friend and i caught up with each other several times over the course.
now ya'll know i love me some fast downhill. it's one time i'm truly appreciative of my ample backside and thighs. the wet conditions did little to temper my enthusiasm and it was during these sections that i felt best strength wise. i have to wonder though if holding back more would of left more gas in the tank towards the end.
Gear
function wise everything was holding up well. i decided against the camelbak, and chose my big fanny pack(mistake) and a another handheld. this race was so well supported that i could of easily taken my smaller waist pack with two bottles and been set. oh well, live and learn. i wore comfy shorts and a singlet. the only chafing i experienced was a tiny spot on my left ribcage where the pack rubbed after doffing my singlet (i had a sports bra on!) feet were all good, not a single blister or hot spot.
Pain
the one pain that showed up fairly early on and would remain with me the entire day was a tight left lower calf. i'd stop to strech it out perodically. it didn't feel like a cramp, as it was duller in sensation, but i wasn't too sure. i hadn't experimented much with electrolyte supplements and was wary of trying them now. the pain persisted like i said so i gulped a handful of salty sunflower seeds and when that didn't seem to help i did take one e-cap by mile 20. the pain wasn't causing any real problems just distracting and annoying.
Terrain
hills and more hills. the start was pretty mushy like i said, which was a good thing really as it guaranteed a nice slow start. i'd walk for a while until my shoes got too heavy and i'd scrape the mud off with my carefully selected stick. once i got to the top of the first serious section of seaview, i found my running legs. this part was in pretty good shape a little wet in places but for the most part totally runnable. it wasn't long before the next climb though. i kept to my plan and slowed to walk. this pretty much describes the entire day. i have to say the toughest part of the day for me was Bort Meadow, that fucking climb was the longest hottest stretch of the day.
Support
as i mentioned this race was very well supported. i never felt more cared for. you could tell these folks really wanted us to have a good day. people were just so nice and helpful. when we got to the first of several road crossings each time i felt like a baby chick be carefully escorted by the mama duck, our cross guards were on the J.O.B no doubt. for the most part i didn't linger too long at the aides stations. (hey kinda like you olga!) at sibley i did use the restroom. at bear station i filled up my bottles, and casually glanced at the array of food, a volunteer teasingly said, "hmph, turning your nose up at my pbj's huh" i assured her they were lovely, but that i had a plan and didn't want to mess with it, being this was my first marathon. at the second to last aide station, a man said "it's all downhill from here" i smirked and said "uh uh". at the last AS i stopped for bit to stretch my calf, boy that drew allot of attention "here hon, get in the shade" "you want a pretzle, fluids??" i was a little embarrassed by all the attention to tell you the truth. i assured everyone i was okay, and then i saw jolynn's friend pull in and go. i had to keep moving. she was my rabbit.
The Final 10k
this is were the reality of my lack of training really sank in. another women at the last aide station cruised in and asked how much further, a volunteer shouted out 3 miles, the fit older gal, perked up and said "oh, see ya!" and was gone. i could only wish for that kind energy at this point. according to my garmin i was at mile 23:84 when my fantasy of 6 hours came and went. remaining consistent with the rest of this course that last 3 miles were hilly too! jolynn's friend and i played leap frog for a good bit, at one point we hung together , but she was much stronger than i on the flats and i once again was looking at her from way behind. i'm pretty sure she came in a minute or so ahead of me. when i saw the finish line i tried to look less like how i felt and with a huge smile on my face and quick glance at the clock i crossed the finish in 6:29.
i told T to be there by 3 o'clock, even though i wasn't overly confident about finishing within 6 hours. i didn't see them anywhere and i kinda just walked around for abit . i was done. no big wave of emotion, just happy to have done what i set out to do. i wonder if i had been greeted by a familiar face at the finish if i would of lost it, so maybe it was better i got to the finish on my own. i was able to cheer jolynn in and not long after that my peeps arrived with chocolate milk. M even made me crown, so sweet.
and so there you have it. my first marathon report. i did what i set out to do, not exactly how i envisioned it but i can live and learn from it. it was really great meeting jolynn and her friend, they made a long hard day fun and added a friendly element of competition that made me work harder. i do hope our paths find eachother again. they are my heroes too! i'm sorry i never found #551, randy i hope you had a good day!
i already had a mad crush on trail running when i set out to do this race. i'm totally smitten, head over heels in love now. i want to be that gal at mile 23 that say's "see ya!" i want to get better, i want work harder. also, i want to thank everyone who followed along and wished me well on this crazy trip. i have even more respect and admiration for you guy's now that i've towed line myself. but right now i want to clean up this house and get ready for a birthday party at home. life is so good.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
I did it!
6:29 is the unofficial time. it was awesome hard and i totally want to do it again.
i'm too tired to report now, i'll share all the gory details tomorrow.
i'm too tired to report now, i'll share all the gory details tomorrow.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Training: A Look Back
training for my first marathon was obviously not going to be easy but with a few halfs ( 1 race, a few runs) i felt with proper base building and the right plan i could do it. i had almost a year to train really well.
i knew it had to be a trail race. so i got on-line a found Bizz Johnson. it boasted fast times on a mostly flat route and i impulsively registered giving very little thought to susanvilles change of elevation. after a few restless weeks i decided to cut-my lossess and look for another race, one closer to home for sure. damn, that lesson cost me 70 bucks. to be honest i was more focused on finding a race, not necessarily the right race for me that i didn't really appreciate what it was going to take to actually train for a trail marathon.
i don't think i've bitten off more than i can chew, it's just gonna take allot longer than i thought. i have to be okay with that otherwise why even show up tomorrow.
**********************************************************************************
i 've had a few conversations this week with people regarding my race. it's funny the different perspectives there are. some folks are very numbers oriented, others ask if it's a charity race...and seem a little disappointed that it's not, and still others plain wonder: why?
i've wondered all those things at one time or other myself. i think i've come to the conclusion that there were allot of reasons but probably more than just finishing, i wanted to train and do well.
i scoured the internet. my initial plan was an intermediate one, at coolrunning and by week 10 i was burned out and skipping runs bouncing from plan to plan, making it up as i went. training well had become training hell.
in hind sight there was nothing wrong with just wanting to finish, and wouldn't training have been more enjoyable without the added pressure of an intense program? training at an intermediate level, given my personality and lifestyle was a bit of a mismatch. why not just begin with being a beginner?
still, it wasn't all bad. i had a solid base building period. and i FELL IN LOVE WITH TRAIL RUNNING, discovering this race route. all those training days on the race route, getting lost and finding my way. spring was the most amazing time for me as far as breakthroughs and pushing limits.
so many times in the midst of an especially gruelling session just as heat and fatigue threatened to take over a gentle breeze would lift my spirits and i swear whisper to me that i was exactly where i needed to be in that moment.
so much of the time i'm so far down the road. nowhere near "in the moment" training really keeps you there, in the moment. as galloway describes,"positive behaviors and internal connections", i was beginning to understand.
summer is when the training started to really lose momentum and i went into party mode for a month and then vacation mode for another month. then it was back-to-school mode, which for the past month has been HELL.
still, i'm not going into this thing totally unprepared.
under trained and wildly enthusiastic would be more accurate.
my longest run was 21 miles and i ran 2 other 20 milers. i had my share of sucky workouts too. i often thought , usually afterwards, that they maybe were some of the most valuable runs because they hurt or just sucked so bad but i kept going anyway. deposits in the mental training account, right? while on vacation in hawaii, i got 30 miles of heat and humidity training, the longest run at 12 miles,or was it 14?
i didn't mention it at the time, but while on vacation our car got broke into. the shithead(s) got my 2 month old just got it for my 44th birthday 1st designer bag ever! dooney & bourke purse, damn! cell phones, M's shuffle, double damn!!. but it was the realization that my GARMIN was gone that reduced me to tears. all that data, poof! i learned a little bit more about my values that day.
galloway run/walk method was put to practice right after vacation and i tweeked it quite allot before settling into my current plan of attack. we shall see.
walking early and often is the only way i'm gonna finish, my training was for shit as far a time goal goes, not to mention the lack of cross-training or mindful nutrition. still, 6 hours would be thrilling for me. it's kinda of embarrassing ...taking it back and settling on just finishing. i'm more competitive than i think i guess, at least with myself. i ran well but i didn't train well.
i'm planning on walking(most)all the tough hills up to the first 20 miles and i'm counting on all my hill training to kick in during the last 6 miles. at least that's the plan, we'll see how it plays out.
i have no regrets other than i wish i would of been more realistic in my choice of training plans. had i settled on a beginner's program from the start, i would've stuck to it and had fewer missed sessions and i would have skipped burn-out.
i WILL have a good day out there tomorrow. the best advice i've received tells me not to focus on time but to just have fun. the weather appears to be cooperating, their predicting highs in the 60's. it's been raining on and off today, hopefully it won't be a major factor tomorrow.
so that's a look back on the training that has got me to here.
nerves haven't kicked in yet. actually, i'm feeling relieved that it's finally going to happen. letting go of the training phase and looking towards embracing the race day experience. it's been months since i've run in an organized event. i'm looking forward to the "buzz" and meeting new folks.
oh, and how cool is it that my first marathon would be under the direction of ultrarunning's legendary anne trason? i had read an article about her a couple of years ago when i first started trail running, she was a triathlete for awhile and a local gal. i had heard of golden hills marathon but i hadn't put the two together until after i decided against bizz johnson and started looking for a race closer to home.
so that's it for now. it's gonna be a helluva ride!
i knew it had to be a trail race. so i got on-line a found Bizz Johnson. it boasted fast times on a mostly flat route and i impulsively registered giving very little thought to susanvilles change of elevation. after a few restless weeks i decided to cut-my lossess and look for another race, one closer to home for sure. damn, that lesson cost me 70 bucks. to be honest i was more focused on finding a race, not necessarily the right race for me that i didn't really appreciate what it was going to take to actually train for a trail marathon.
i don't think i've bitten off more than i can chew, it's just gonna take allot longer than i thought. i have to be okay with that otherwise why even show up tomorrow.
**********************************************************************************
i 've had a few conversations this week with people regarding my race. it's funny the different perspectives there are. some folks are very numbers oriented, others ask if it's a charity race...and seem a little disappointed that it's not, and still others plain wonder: why?
i've wondered all those things at one time or other myself. i think i've come to the conclusion that there were allot of reasons but probably more than just finishing, i wanted to train and do well.
i scoured the internet. my initial plan was an intermediate one, at coolrunning and by week 10 i was burned out and skipping runs bouncing from plan to plan, making it up as i went. training well had become training hell.
in hind sight there was nothing wrong with just wanting to finish, and wouldn't training have been more enjoyable without the added pressure of an intense program? training at an intermediate level, given my personality and lifestyle was a bit of a mismatch. why not just begin with being a beginner?
still, it wasn't all bad. i had a solid base building period. and i FELL IN LOVE WITH TRAIL RUNNING, discovering this race route. all those training days on the race route, getting lost and finding my way. spring was the most amazing time for me as far as breakthroughs and pushing limits.
so many times in the midst of an especially gruelling session just as heat and fatigue threatened to take over a gentle breeze would lift my spirits and i swear whisper to me that i was exactly where i needed to be in that moment.
so much of the time i'm so far down the road. nowhere near "in the moment" training really keeps you there, in the moment. as galloway describes,"positive behaviors and internal connections", i was beginning to understand.
summer is when the training started to really lose momentum and i went into party mode for a month and then vacation mode for another month. then it was back-to-school mode, which for the past month has been HELL.
still, i'm not going into this thing totally unprepared.
under trained and wildly enthusiastic would be more accurate.
my longest run was 21 miles and i ran 2 other 20 milers. i had my share of sucky workouts too. i often thought , usually afterwards, that they maybe were some of the most valuable runs because they hurt or just sucked so bad but i kept going anyway. deposits in the mental training account, right? while on vacation in hawaii, i got 30 miles of heat and humidity training, the longest run at 12 miles,or was it 14?
i didn't mention it at the time, but while on vacation our car got broke into. the shithead(s) got my 2 month old just got it for my 44th birthday 1st designer bag ever! dooney & bourke purse, damn! cell phones, M's shuffle, double damn!!. but it was the realization that my GARMIN was gone that reduced me to tears. all that data, poof! i learned a little bit more about my values that day.
galloway run/walk method was put to practice right after vacation and i tweeked it quite allot before settling into my current plan of attack. we shall see.
walking early and often is the only way i'm gonna finish, my training was for shit as far a time goal goes, not to mention the lack of cross-training or mindful nutrition. still, 6 hours would be thrilling for me. it's kinda of embarrassing ...taking it back and settling on just finishing. i'm more competitive than i think i guess, at least with myself. i ran well but i didn't train well.
i'm planning on walking(most)all the tough hills up to the first 20 miles and i'm counting on all my hill training to kick in during the last 6 miles. at least that's the plan, we'll see how it plays out.
i have no regrets other than i wish i would of been more realistic in my choice of training plans. had i settled on a beginner's program from the start, i would've stuck to it and had fewer missed sessions and i would have skipped burn-out.
i WILL have a good day out there tomorrow. the best advice i've received tells me not to focus on time but to just have fun. the weather appears to be cooperating, their predicting highs in the 60's. it's been raining on and off today, hopefully it won't be a major factor tomorrow.
so that's a look back on the training that has got me to here.
nerves haven't kicked in yet. actually, i'm feeling relieved that it's finally going to happen. letting go of the training phase and looking towards embracing the race day experience. it's been months since i've run in an organized event. i'm looking forward to the "buzz" and meeting new folks.
oh, and how cool is it that my first marathon would be under the direction of ultrarunning's legendary anne trason? i had read an article about her a couple of years ago when i first started trail running, she was a triathlete for awhile and a local gal. i had heard of golden hills marathon but i hadn't put the two together until after i decided against bizz johnson and started looking for a race closer to home.
so that's it for now. it's gonna be a helluva ride!
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Hump Day
last week, M witnessed a rather vicious school yard fight involving 5 girls. the fight apparently was over a boy. the end result was pretty ugly, and M was obviously shook up. just this morning on the early show there was a segment on Mean Girls...a girl fight in the bathroom was captured on video and shown on YOU TUBE. the intensity in which the girl attacked the other was disturbing...even more scary was the fact that the girls barely knew each other.
i remember being the new kid and being singled out by bullies. i have no fond memories of the 6th grade. luckily things did turn around and i was never a victim again, but i have strong sense memories of that kind of fear and i know it's causing me anguish beyond what it should now as i watch my girl struggle to find her place in middle school. she has a group she hangs out with at lunch, girls a grade up that she knew from her grammar school so it's good there, she has friends. she's just having trouble with a couple girls in her class.
kids in our school district come from all walks of life, you've got the privileged berkeley hill kids, the urban kids and then the middle of the road kids. M has had her first taste of snobbery. girls interrogating her about where she shops, if her parents are college educated, even questioned about how many levels her house is. for the first time she is experiencing social and class distinction and it's really doing a number on her confidence. we're hardly well off nor are we poor, we have a modest home in west berkeley, a desirable address but by no means lavish or stately.
M's 12th birthday is coming up and she doesn't want to have home party...i think she's embarrassed about our lack of stateliness to tell you the truth. i'm a little sad, we always had so much fun decorating and planning her parties at home. bleh! i think i'm just in mourning over the loss of my little girl and terrified of what lies ahead. ok, enough mama drama!
we got a bit moisture dumped on us last night and i could not be happier. the gunked up trail will help me keep to a slow start on saturday. only the first few miles is out in the open, much of the course is canopied so unless it gets really wet in the next few day's trail conditions should be ok. there is one slightly steep AND rocky section that could get treacherous, but i take my time on that section anyway. ok, off i go to bang out a little 4 miler before heading to work.
i remember being the new kid and being singled out by bullies. i have no fond memories of the 6th grade. luckily things did turn around and i was never a victim again, but i have strong sense memories of that kind of fear and i know it's causing me anguish beyond what it should now as i watch my girl struggle to find her place in middle school. she has a group she hangs out with at lunch, girls a grade up that she knew from her grammar school so it's good there, she has friends. she's just having trouble with a couple girls in her class.
kids in our school district come from all walks of life, you've got the privileged berkeley hill kids, the urban kids and then the middle of the road kids. M has had her first taste of snobbery. girls interrogating her about where she shops, if her parents are college educated, even questioned about how many levels her house is. for the first time she is experiencing social and class distinction and it's really doing a number on her confidence. we're hardly well off nor are we poor, we have a modest home in west berkeley, a desirable address but by no means lavish or stately.
M's 12th birthday is coming up and she doesn't want to have home party...i think she's embarrassed about our lack of stateliness to tell you the truth. i'm a little sad, we always had so much fun decorating and planning her parties at home. bleh! i think i'm just in mourning over the loss of my little girl and terrified of what lies ahead. ok, enough mama drama!
we got a bit moisture dumped on us last night and i could not be happier. the gunked up trail will help me keep to a slow start on saturday. only the first few miles is out in the open, much of the course is canopied so unless it gets really wet in the next few day's trail conditions should be ok. there is one slightly steep AND rocky section that could get treacherous, but i take my time on that section anyway. ok, off i go to bang out a little 4 miler before heading to work.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Because I'm the Mom
Dear M,
i will alway's feel guilty for the lack of sit down meals in our home
i will alway's have a pain in my heart for all my shortcomings and my lack patience
i will alway's want to beat the crap out of those snotty little bitches at school.
i will alway's want to protect you from the mean girls.
i will alway's worry about you, holding my breath that we'll get through this current "phase"
is there anything harder than being a parent? it's like holding a giant magnifying glass up to one's own flaws and imperfections.
i wish i felt more joy and less angst about parenting you right now. i wish i was the solid rock you need. i want so much to have the right advice, enough patience, the ability to stay neutral when every fiber of my being wants to scream. it's been a rough year and middle school hasn't exactly been a smooth transition.
i really need to get through this weekend and focus more on my parenting skills.
i will alway's feel guilty for the lack of sit down meals in our home
i will alway's have a pain in my heart for all my shortcomings and my lack patience
i will alway's want to beat the crap out of those snotty little bitches at school.
i will alway's want to protect you from the mean girls.
i will alway's worry about you, holding my breath that we'll get through this current "phase"
is there anything harder than being a parent? it's like holding a giant magnifying glass up to one's own flaws and imperfections.
i wish i felt more joy and less angst about parenting you right now. i wish i was the solid rock you need. i want so much to have the right advice, enough patience, the ability to stay neutral when every fiber of my being wants to scream. it's been a rough year and middle school hasn't exactly been a smooth transition.
i really need to get through this weekend and focus more on my parenting skills.
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